Wedding readings - non-religious but not cheesy...

I'm struggling with this too and to complicate things further we are both older.

someone posted something I'm sure about holding your hands out to the other one then they said something about h2b these are the hands that will do this this and this for you then h2b holds his hands to you and the same. It was lovely but not appropriate to me.

i will search and post if I can find it.

if not hopefully the person who posted it will remember.

We struggled with readings. In the end we chose He's not perfect, a Bob Marley quote. I found that googling wedding readings just brought up the same stuff over and over, so instead I googled things like love and couple quotes. Pinterest is a good place to look.

We also had hes not perfect!

So this might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I saw it a while back and read it every so often:

"Being in love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what true love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two."

Someone also posted a Bob Marley saying a little while ago which I copied down:

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”

Ha ha, that serves me right taking so long to write a response - last two posts mention the Bob Marley quote ?

Both are perfect for what I want. Will give both to my witness and let her chose. X

Thanks all - seems like this is a more common issue than i thought - i thought it was just me!

The Bob Marley one is popular and I do like it

Http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/01/25/hands-ceremony/

this is lovely but not really that applicable to me age 58! It's the one I was trying to remember.

Thanks so much! I really like this one too

Love love love this... and I'm sure you could re-word some of the lines to make it more unique to you It is lovely though.

I could give it to my witness and ask her to change bits. It would be lovely and feel a bit more like a part of the service than a straight reading if that makes sense and the service is only ten mins in the ice chapel so needs something.

My witness celebrate their 50th wedding when we wed so I want something appropriate to sort of advise from her.

That or the two trees being one and loving not being in love for me I think.

We're having this

We're having the he's not perfect one. I also like this:

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good,
And more than any fate
To make me happy.

You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.

Sorry, that's huge! Stupid hitched makes it impossible for me to edit on my phone, grrr.

We're having Maybe and No Matter What. They were the least cheesy one's I could find and seemed to suit us the best.

Maybe... we are supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe... it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe... the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe... the best kind of love is the kind where you can sit on a sofa together and never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe... you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

Maybe... you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

Maybe... love is not about finding the perfect person, it's about learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

No Matter What (Debi Gliori)

"Small was feeling grim and dark. He was playing toss and fling and bang and crash. Break and snap and bash and batter. Small said “I’m a grim and grumpy little small and nobody loves me at all”. “Oh Small,” said Large. “Grumpy or not, I’ll always love you no matter what.”

Small said, “If I was a grizzly bear would you still love me would you still care?” “Of course,” said Large “bear or not, I’ll always love you no matter what.”

Small said “But if I turned into a bug, would you still love me and give me a hug?” “Of course,” said Large “bug or not, I’ll always love you no matter what.”

“No matter what?” said Small, and smiled, “What if I was a crocodile?” Large said “I’d hug you close and hold you tight and tuck you up in bed at night”.

“Does love wear out” said Small, “does it break or bend? Can you fix it, stick it, does it mend?” “Oh help,” said Large “I’m not that clever I just know I’ll love you forever”.

Small said “but what about when you’re dead and gone, would you love me then, does love go on?” Large held Small snug as they looked out at the night, at the moon in the dark and the stars shining bright. “Small look at the stars – how they shine and glow, but some of those stars died a long time ago. Still they shine in the evening skies. Love, like starlight, never dies”.

We're actually not having any readings at all - want the ceremony to be as short and sweet as humanly possible!

I do love the trees one, though - when I found it, I couldn't stop going back to it all day. Resounded with me quite deeply and I ended up sending it to my OH. If we were having any readings, it would be this one hands down.

Another vote for Bob Marley. In fact my friend just gave me my wedding present which is a framed copy of the Bob Marley reading she gave.

Sorry it's sideways

There are lots of different versions of the hand blessing on Google I found with all different wording.

Wow thank you everyone so much - i like them all now which isnt going be an easy decision to choose between them but will try to find the perfect 2 for us.

You've all been super helpful - thanks again!! X

Jayne E, which reading about trees are you referring too?

Ooh good post! Found three I love just on from this thread! Fab, good work ladies! xx

I've just foind this one which i quite like (although not overly sure of the sentences in bold)??

With You In My Heart By Mick Jennings

With you in my heart, my life is complete,

You're the air that I breathe and the food that I eat.

You are my soul mate, the beat in my heart,

It feels like a year each second we're apart.

With you in my heart, I am brim full of pride,

It's as though i can achieve anything with you by my side.

You're my rock, you’re my angel, my one true love,

You're my present from heaven, my gift from above.

With you in my heart, I love you so much,

How caring you are, my soul you do touch.

You're a beautiful person, a pleasure to know,

My love for you just continues to grow.

With you in my heart, I'm the happiest person on earth,

I feel God has planned this since the day of my birth.

I could never love anyone the way I love you,

I hope and I pray that you feel the same way too.

With you in my heart, through the good and the bad,

I'll be there when you need me, when you're hurting or sad.

In fact I'll be there for you any night, any day,

Whenever you need me, you just have to say.

With you in my heart, it really makes my day,

With the things that you do and the things that you say.

You deserve every happiness and I will ensure,

From now, only good times come knocking at your door.

With you in my heart, I hope it feels good,

And that I am caring for you the way that I should.

I will always be happy, just by the love that you give,

I will protect you and love you for as long as I live.

We are having a church wedding so are allowed one religious and one non-religious reading. We are having:

If you can always be…

If you can always be as close

And as happy as today

Yet be secure enough to grow

And change along the way

If you can keep for you alone

Your love as man and wife

Yet find the time to share your joy

With others in your life

If you can be as one

And walk through marriage hand in hand

Yet still support the goals and dreams

That each of you had planned

If you can dare to always go

Your separate ways together

Then all the wonders of today

Will stay with you forever

And for the religious reading:

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up .Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

The one posted by mrs lh2b that ends about roots and being one tree not two. I like that. Starts with being love is a temporary madness.

I think this is the one I want. ?

This was something I was struggling with as I didn't want anything cheesy but have already read a few good ones on here so thank you everyone!

I'm having a humanist ceremony so thinking about this too. I really like the one posted earlier about the roots/truee- which I've just remembered is from Captain Correlli's Mandolin. I also like the Lovely Other Dinosaur by Edward Monkton but not sure if my fiancé will think it's too silly. This is it:

The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice. Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, his cage.

Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur. The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur’s cage with kind words and loving thoughts.

“I like this Dinosaur,” thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. “Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny. He is also quite clever, though I will not tell him this for now.”

“I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur,” thought the Dinosaur. “She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice. She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.”

“But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times,” thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. “He is also overly fond of things. Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things?”

“But her mind skips from here to there so quickly,” thought the Dinosaur. “She is also uncommonly keen on shopping. Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?”

“I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things,” thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. “For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.”

“I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping,” thought the Dinosaur. “For she fills our life with beautiful thoughts and wonderful surprises. Besides, I am not unkeen on shopping either.”

Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old. Look at them. Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.

And that, my friends, is how it is with love. Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together. For the sun is warm. And the world is a beautiful place

Our humanist has sent us a document with lots of readings in it so we'll need to have a look through that too.

i'd like 2 readings I think and for one I quite like the idea of finding a quote that isn't usually used as a wedding reading so it's a bit more original. I was watching movie clips earlier and I really like the speech about love/ marriage of Robin Williams' character in Good Will Hunting. Due to the context of it being a movie quote it doesn't 'fit' perfectly to a wedding day but I love the sentiment:

"Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That's what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they're not, aw, that's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let in to our weird little worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about."

There is one about not being perfect.

however it doesn't do it for me as it's sort of someone telling me he's not perfect and don't expect him to be but no one is telling him I'm not perfect and to put up with my ways! I must therefore be perfect lol.

i am considering changing the wording slightly so that the reader is telling you both you're not perfect. Meh this and she that etc etc but that we are perfect for each other.

if you don't know the one I mean I think it's on google as he's not perfect. Adaptable. And adaptable to put bits in that are relevant to your own bad habits etc lol.

Changing he's not perfect to something like (quick look)

Hes not perfect and you aren't either. The two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once and if she can make you think twice, and if you both admit to being human and making mistakes, then hold on to each other and give the most that you can.

he isn't going to quote poetry to you and she's not thinking about you every moment, but you give each other a part of you that you both know you could break

dont hurt him, don't try to change her. Don't expect more than each other can give. Don't analyse.

smile when she makes you happy. Yell when he makes you mad. Miss each other when they aren't there. Love hard when there is love to be had.

because perfect people don't exist, but there is always one person that is perfect for you.

I've just found this poem written by JRR Tolkien for his wife. Fits nicely with our theme

Lo! Young we are and yet have stood
like planted hearts in the great Sun
of Love so long (as two fair trees
in woodland or in open dale
stand utterly entwined and breathe
the airs and suck the very light
together) that we have become
as one, deep rooted in the soil
of Life and tangled in the sweet growth.

Hope the vicar approves ?

I've been pondering for a while whether to post this or not....... we have chosen a reading that came across us completely by accident.

I work in the NHS and a while back while we were looking for a suitable reading and not finding anything, I got a call to a patient. A gentleman in his 90s. He had lost his wife of over 70 years 18 months prior, and to cope with his grief had turned to writing poetry about their lives together (some was heartbreaking) and attempting to self publish his favourites. He said he had never even kissed anyone else, and he truly couldn't recall an argument they had ever had. He gave me a copy of his works as a thank you and because he wants people to read what he has written for his wife. Reading them later on I came across the below and knowing the love story it was inspired by seemed to be a good omen! He will never know my thoughts on the poetry due to patient confidentiality or that I liked it so much I'm using it in my own wedding (that he knew nothing of). Anyway here it is:

Ode For the Common Man

He used to send her poems

To tell her of his love

But as the years progressed

They never seemed enough.

So he put it in his feelings

His gestures, and his words

To a love that has no limits

It will never seem absurd.

For no matter what age you are

True love will run its course

And you feel so very lucky

To be smitten by its’ force.

What a beautiful story and a beautiful poem to use at your wedding. X

We are having this. It sums OH and I up perfectly!