Wedding registry

I toyed with a honeymoon fund and set an account up with Honeyfund but I changed my mind as they all seem to take a cut in some way or another and my mum wasn’t that keen. So in the end we added a PayPal link to the insert that went into the invite and asked for donations to a honeymoon. A few people have already said they will give an envelope or card with cash instead so it didn’t seem to be an issue for people. And I have done the same at other weddings. One different way of doing it was to buy gift vouchers for somewhere like Trailfinders but of course that does tie you to buying a honeymoon from them!

Whilst I haven't actually set anything up myself, if you wanted to go down the Honeymoon Fund route then Trailfinders and Kuoni are able to set these up I think. But there is also The Wedding Shop where you can add items from loads of different shops as well as experiences etc. but most importantly you are able to add honeymoon contributions of different amounts.

We are the same as you, we need nothing as our house was refurbished a year ago. We ummed and ahhed for ages but in the end we have set up a bank account as I felt the sites were risky in current times, took a commission from the guest and also didn't like to be tied in to a particular company. Also in the current climate we haven't actually booked anything as we didn't know what restrictions would be so that helps us in our explanation and a lot of our guests have replied saying it's great because it makes it so easy for them to just deposit some money to our account but I do still feel a bit weird asking for any presents at all!


I do think that nowadays people are more accustomed to giving cash gifts so I don't think people would be concerned about doing that and you can do it in so many different ways. By asking people to donate to an account at least then you can spend the money on what you want i e maybe a couple of city breaks or put towards a bigger honeymoon

We’re doing a Trailfinders fund. No cut - but obviously you would have to book through trailfinders…! Personally, I’d prefer to go down the PayPal route than the prezola/similar route - both as a bride and as a guest. When I’m a guest I want my money to go to the couple - not to some company who aren’t actually doing anything for the couple!

I would avoid any of the honeymoon 'gift list' options as they all tend to take a cut - if people are giving you money anyway, there's no difference between a bank transfer and a gift to one of these funds except that no one else is raking off their cut.

If you don't actually need the money for the honeymoon, another option is to ask for donations to a charity that is meaningful to you.

I'm really intrigued that most people prefer the paypal route! I'm leaning towards this (with maybe a small alternative JL wish list for people who really prefer traditional gifts like my parents' friends).

However - my one worry with paypal is that guests won't know how much to contribute and they'll tie themselves in knots about. I've been to a couple weddings recently where the couple just asked for cash for house deposit or honeymoon or whatever - and the other guests I went with got really worked up over the appropriate amount to give. Guests with the same salary were giving anywhere from £30 to £200 each, and frankly all the discussions around it (including at the wedding) got really uncomfortable. The good thing with a honeymoon site is that I could just set a couple specified amounts (e.g. contribute £50 to our hotel, £25 to our flights) so people can select one without thinking about it.

Does anyone have a polite way of making clear that only small contributions or maybe specified amounts are welcome? I don't want each guest to feel like they need to give at least £100 or something..

We're considering doing an experience based registry, many of which could be related to the honeymoon and things we'd spend our own money on otherwise - e.g. wine tasting tour, couples massage, kayak hire, etc. Also some other consumables like our favourite wines or the brand of candles we buy and stuff like that.

So it's all things that if we didn't get as a gift we'd in all likelihood be buying ourselves and so in that sense it feels to us like we're asking for money, but it allows guests to gift us a "thing" rather than awkwardly stressing about how much cash is appropriate.

View quoted message

The actual amount to give has never come up as an issue for me and I have been to probably about 10 weddings over the years as I am an older first time bride and all my friends have been married for years! I have given money in a card in the past which obv keeps it secret and I have also gifted vouchers electronically. Maybe this is more of a recent issue as you say it was at weddings you have just attended. I have also used Paypal Money Pool for collections at work in the past which was a slightly better system as you could remain anonymous. Unfortunately Paypal have stopped doing the Money Pool service so now you just have to use the standard way to send money. I wouldn't worry about to be honest, asking for money for the honeymoon or even home improvements is so common now that people live together before marriage that I don't think most guests will bat an eyelid. You could do a small gift list if it makes you feel better for older guests who might be more traditional.

It is a tricky one, I have always worked it that I give £50 for each of us, so if we attend as a couple we give £100 and if with child £150, that is if we are attending the whole day. for evening only I give up to £50 dependant on how close I am to the couple. Again, is totally subjective and relative to your finances. I also think talking about it is quite crass, if anyone asked me at a wedding how much i gave i would reply that it is not relative or needed to disclose or discuss among guests as everyones circumstances are different.

We have set up an account and advised if people wanted to donate to let us know and we will send then bank details, only 1 person has asked us for them so far (wedding is 4 weeks away), which is fine as we have said their presence onthe day is all we want, we couldnt care less if people give anything as it is not what it is about, but I now the older generation like to give something as tradition.

View quoted message

What website are you using for this? I can see a few options like honeyfund or prezola along these lines, but I guess they all take a cut and am also wondering if paypal would feel safer

View quoted message

We haven't got that far yet haha

But friends of ours are using The Wedding Shop and have done a similar thing with experiences so that'll be the first thing I investigate when the time comes!

For those using paypal - is there any way of providing a link to send money, which doesn't require guests to also sign up to paypal?