Wedding Wobbles!!

Have you todl you him you dont like him saying things like that

TBH that doesn't sound like he's trying to just 'wind' you up. Its a pretty nasty joke to come out with if thats all it is.

I think you need to have a serious conversation with your OH. Ask him if there is something really bothering him, if thats how he really feels and if he IS just saying it to wind you up then you need to tell him how upsetting you find that. Also tell him how you're feeling. Honesty with each other is the only way you are going to resolve this.

If you're OH is saying that to wind you up, it's a pretty mean joke

Sit down with him and have a serious discussion. If he really is dead against it, then you've got to decide whether you can spend the rest of your life with him and not be married. Some people can and there's nothing wrong with that!

I don't think he would have let the planning get so far, if he really was serious though

Let us know how you get on.

Did he propose to you? He cant seriously think that if he did, even if he didnt he said yes to you......men are sometimes really bad at getting their feelings out, I know my h2b would say something like that if he was getting nervous, its

just the way he is and i know he doesnt mean it....sit down ava chat with him, u could be feeling both the same and then you can each remind one another why u want to di it and that u love each other xxxx

WSS! IMO it's not something that should be joked about.

I would definitely be having words with my OH if I were in your shoes. I can only agree with what others have said, ask him why he keeps saying it and tell him how much it's upsetting you.

Talk!!! tell him how you feel, get him to be real if this is a joke or a joke with truth behind - sounds to me like he's concerned maybe as it went wrong the first time. Maybe he needs some reassurance and a reality check that this isn't the first time and your not his ex.

Has anyone thought he may also be nervous and is trying to make sure its what you want without knowing how to ask you direct as you say he has also been married before.

the best thing to do is be honest with each other and i think you will be ok xxx

Thanks everyone for your replys, ...

he did purpose in Novemeber 09, and we set the date last May, and he has been fine right up to when we got to 2012, he is with out doubt nervous, in fact crapping himself!! He said the winding me up is his way of dealing with it, and he does want to marry me, and spend the rest of his life with me, infact is shocked that he has met someone he actually feels that way about, but after being divoiced for 17 years he is so concerned that if anything goes wrong he will lose everything again, (as he did in his irst marriage) i have suggested that if he feels more secure we could look into a pre-nuptial agreement, he thought this was worth thinking about and said it would make more relaxed.

Last night for the first time in a month he actually showed interest in the Wedding, and was coming up with ideas for music, and even suggested a piece of music for the church, a big step in the right direction.

Would you be happy about a pre-nup? If it was me I wouldn't like what that seems to say about you. Like he seemed to relax after you suggested you would pretty much walk away with nothing therefore you're after his money? Maybe it's just how my head is working at the moment (TOM) but that doesn't seem very fair to you.

Thats good that you've managed to talk about things & you now know how he feels & hopefully relaxed his nerves a little.

and even better thats he is starting to show and interest.

Do you feel happier now?x

I do feel happier now, thanks, and haing a pre-nup is no problem if it makes him happier, he knows I am not after his money, and its not the case of not trusting me, he just doesn't trust the law if everything went wrong. After his first marriage ended he lost everything from money to house, so I do understand, and i guess it does work both ways, we will both be protected!! Knowing him as I do just the offer of doing a pre-nup will be enough to settle him!!

If its something thats needs doing for his peace of mind & happiness then its i would say its worth while. As i'm sure you hope it would never be required and makes this time a lot easier