Were calling the wedding off...

Oww what a horrible situation for you to be put in!

I would run away to some where amazing, get married just the two of you and then have massive party when you get back!!

xx

Lainey thats pants that everyone else has made you feel like that. ?

Why dont you take a couple of your closest friends on holiday with you and get maried abroad?

xx

We wouldnt be able to scale down the actual ceremony anymore than we already have, I have a really large family and we have alot of close friends who I couldnt pick one over the other sort of thing so the ceremony was hard enough deciding numbers, Everyone involved and actually people who arent involved are sticking their noses in and making it a complete and utter nightmare, we will probably have a party after with the people who havent made our lives a misery afterwards, im just absolutely gutted, but we dont want to go through with it when all it is doing is making us miserable

Thats such a shame!

If i was you i'd book somewhere abroad and just take the people who mean alot to you because most people wouldt be able to go anyway!

xxxx

So sorry to hear your news. Why are people so mean spirited?

I go along with the others, run off somewhere romantic and have a party when you get back.

Very sorry to read this.

Families and weddings are a nightmare but such a shame that yours have made you feel so upset about your wedding.

As for running away to do it there are so many places you can go to do it.

Gretna Green if you don't want to go far.

Or you could get married and combine it with your honeymoon.

Cyprus, Italy, Maldives, Mauritius, Florida, in fact anywhere.

Or if you want something a little more wacky you could do Vegas.

And then if you wish you could have a party when you return. You could even do it so that no one knows you are off getting married and just think you are having a party, until they get there.

Really sorry to hear that - especially as it's other people dictating you call the wedding off.

I say you should take the money you've saved, go on the holiday of a life time and get married whilst you are there. Yeah, it'll p!ss some people off but hey, better them than you, right?!

I am so sorry to hear this. This is my opinion... by the sounds of it you have clearly come to the end of your tether and feel really deflated about the whole thing. WHo can blame you, trying to accomodate everyone and your b***** sister and dad - how rude!! That, it appears, is why you cant be bothered now, because they cant!

I myself last week felt like calling the whole thing off because of my rubbish co-ordinator and his lack of enthusiasm, and he isnt even important to me like sister/dad. This is what I think you should do. Take a week or so to switch off from it all then come back to it with the attitude. 'its MY wedding. we will have what we want, where we want and sod everyone else' all else fails - elope! It worked for my mum and dad and just about to celebrate 40yrs of marriage. I also think that calling it all off might make key players sit up and take notice of their hurtful actions. also WHEN its back on pick another MOH. Its your day, and I know it can be overwhelming but please dont loose sight of who is really important here, and it is you and OH x

Thanks for all your replies, its good to talk about it. I have just had enough, we have already booked our honeymoon, and its costing us a fortune, I looked at having the wedding there aswell but it is just far too much money for us. My best friend is coming round later, were gonna start looking at options then, im just sick and tired of it all, nothing ever good happens to my family so i thought that my wedding would be a good thing, but obviously not, me, my oh, my mum and my best friend are the only ones who have given a damn, my poor mum is in tears over this all

Aw lainey thats a shame you've been made to feel like this.

I think you should pack your cases with some close friends and family and go somewhere hot to get married.

Ahhhh Lainey!!!!!!!!!

Hope you are both ok about it? Unfortunately at this happy wedding planning time moment comes the most stress with family and friends. You've either got to be straight and say NO when you have to and be able to say 'up y0urs' to the ones who dont want to fit in. Im sure everybody gets it in one way or another.

Its all about YOU TWO at the end of the day, I would definately go with some of the other girls in saying go and get married abroad!!!! If it wasnt for 'family' here who wouldnt be able to go, we would have DEFINATELY done that!!

Take care

Lia

XX

Hey, your mum and best friend = two witnesses! sorted

Lainey I'm so sorry to hear this but in a strange way I'm also a bit jealous. I've already cancelled mine once then rebooked and I've been wanting to cancel it and go off just the two of us somewhere for a couple of months but with all the deposits and how close the wedding is it would cost us too much to cancel so we're going through with it. I really wish now we had done what you have, it's a really brave decision and I hope you don't lose too much over it. I'm actually dreading my own wedding and just focussing on getting past it so I know what it's like when you lose the excitement.

I hope you manage to sort something out, will your TA not include some sort of wedding package with your HM? I know lots of places do free weddings you just have to pay for any extras you want and the legal fees...

Awwww Lainey!!! So sorry to hear that!! Sending big hugs!!!

You need to sit down and really look into options open to you. Two I can think of are:

1) Invite only Mam's Dad's, Brothers and Grandparents to the actually ceremony. The meet everyone at your reception venue. I've been to a wedding where it was like this. I know you say you have a large family but really think about cutting it to real close family.

2) Book a ceremony in Dominican Republic (that's where you're off to isn't it?). If you've already booked the holiday then honestly, you can book an atctual ceremony for about £300. That generally includes flowers and cakes, etc. If you're saving on the wedding then it may help to free up some cash. Even if you have a big party when you get back, you won't need flowers, cars, etc. I'm more than happy to help you look into this option!

If you want to chat, you know where I am! (my email address is on my FB profile)

L xxx

What RaeF said. After what everyone has made the 2 of you feel like, you shouldn't worry about p*ssing them off. You've now cancelled the wedding you'd originally planned and so now you should do it completely your way, having a fabulous time in the process.

Hope you are both ok ?

Oh lainey!! hope you're ok, some people are just so mean about things. i think you should go somewhere reallly nice and exotic, just the 2 of you. my cousin did, they got married in the dominican 11 years ago and had a party when they got back. big hugs ? xx

I am sorry to hear this, can't you sack your matron of honour, have your best friend instead and call your dad's bluff about not coming ? Would he really miss his daughters wedding for his sour sister ??

Bloody families eh..............

I have seen some gorgeous weddings in the Dominican Republic, maybe take your mum and best friend for witnesses ?

Who know's when your family see exactly how far they have pushed you they may start behaving themselves xxxx

Your poor mite

Its so annoying that this is supposed to be your day and theres always someone who has the shite on your parade, completly agree with others, if you can get deposit back etc from venue i would look into buggering off abroad and then partying on your return, if people want to act like children and stamp their feet then they can toss off! Sorry it just makes me made that people stress us brides out when we are trying to do something very special!!

xxx

Just another quick thought, do you have wedding insurance? Might be worth giving them a call and seeing how you're covered if the wedding gets cancelled...

Thanks for all your replies, you have all really cheered me up. We dont have wedding insurance, we are going to lose alot in deposits but i'll take that if it means it will bring us both happyness. We won't go and do it abroad, we will just find somewhere over here to do it, ive got my dress and he has got his tux sorted, all we need to find is somewhere to get married now, we will have our 2 best friends with us, and my mum, not really sure if my dad will come, im too angry with him atm to even care, all i want is for me and Owen to be happy, and all I want is to be his wife

If its getting you down then as everyone else has said take your self off and make the day about you and H2B.

I'm really sorry to hear this - although obv very glad that you and OH are still both happy and in love - and as you say, that is very much the most important thing. I don't know how long you've been considering this, but I would suggest if it's not long it might be an idea to take a couple of days to think about it?

A lot of the London town halls are really nice if you just want somewhere for a quick ceremony before you go away. x

Ahh hun sorry to hear all the stress this is causing you.

To avoid similar situations, we decided to get married on the Monday just the two of us, and throw a big reception on the Saturday where everyone is invited.

Hope you sort it out, but so glad your not letting it effect your relationship.

Take care

Sara xxx

Ah, I'm so sorry to hear this.

Definitely remember it is about the both of you and I think it's a good idea to just have those closest to you with you for the ceremony. Families can be a nightmare! Don't just try and please guests and family members because you'll regret it, it's your day and should be special for both of you.

I had a lovely wedding with lots and guests but I just couldn't really relax on the day and was worried whether everyone was enjoying it, just when I started to relax a bit in the evening the day was over!!! My biggest regret is not just relaxing more and enjoying the day with my lovely new husband. I felt so guilty when afterwards I had a few thoughts about how I would have actually quite liked a small intimate wedding either here or abroad with those closest to us. That had never even crossed my mind at all when I was planning! Anyway, of course it was a lovely day but my point is just make sure you remember it's about you and your h2b and just try and enjoy!! x

Aw that is awful!! well if u 2 still want 2 get married, the pair a u should take youselves 2 a nice registry office and pick 2 of the most interested ppl with you as witnesses. and then go on your honeymoon. putting it off mite just b prolonging the agony of goin thru it all again. but chin up chicken!! Ur mum and ur best friend will be fit 2 chat ya thru!! Somehow our mammies are good at these things. And whenever it happens...its your day, urs and ur OH, and ifur happy then stuff every1 else then!

Oh I'm really sorry to hear this. It's so annoying when people get involved and it turns into some horrible family arguement. I've known a couple of people to just cancel their big wedding and go off abroad by themselves! So much easier - we actually almost did that ourselves at the end of last year. Really wanted to get married in Lapland as we love the snow and thought it'd be so romantic. But unfortunately for us, they only do weddings (well First Choice do) in December and they were fully booked. I couldn't wait til this December so we're getting married in April!

So i'd say go off on your own, it'll be so magical just you and H2B and a couple of close friends maybe.

Could you just have a very small register office wedding and then go on honeymoon. I have had the big full blown wedding and the small register office one, I enjoyed them both at the time. I can't particularly remember either of them down the line.

Awww Lainey big hugs ? sorry to hear that!!

Hope you manage to sort something!!

LxXx

Hope everything gets sorted asap! I'm on the go abroad for the wedding team! We have 40 people coming to Turkey with us for our wedding. If you need any witnesses i'll volunteer! ? Do what ever you want to make you happy, it may just be a quicky wedding at the registry office on the way to the airport for your honeymoon. But as long as you're happy and married that's all that matters.

Hi Lainey,

Firstly, here's a massive ?.

I have been through this, had to cancel our wedding 6 years ago because of a major family bust up (over the wedding of course!) between my parents and h2b's parents. We left the wedding planning alone for a while to sort things out/calm down and then decided that we were going away to get married - just the 2 of us. Originally, we were going to go to Tobago to get married but decided on Gretna Green after the flight costs went through the roof. We're marrying in the Blacksmith's Workshop (very apt for us!) and have 2 witnesses included in the package.

Going away is the best decision we've made and has meant that no one has been interfering or making unnecessary demands.

I hope everything works out for you as it's utter crap when things like this happen when it's meant to be a joyous occasion.

Marie x

Sorry to hear that Lainey ☹️...maybe you should just have a hitched wedding and invite everyone else for the evening do ?

In all honesty though, take yourselves off somewhere, even to St Lucia and come back and have the night do with all your family that way no one is "left out" ?

Awww. lainey, sorry to hear you're callin it off. ?

the only thing that matters is that you do what makes you happy.

xx