What Are You Paying For, For Your Bridesmaids?

I'm paying for dress, shoes and accessories.

I'm also paying for her make up (doing own hair as we both hairdressers).

Not paying her accomodation, she coming down on morning of the wedding and will be staying in the hotel that night with her family.

I'm only having 1 BM and she my auntie (we more like sisters) and her wee boy will be a page boy with my 2 sons.

x

I expected to pay for everything that they're wearing. In my mind if I'm asking them to have something then I should pay. Having said that, one of my bridesmaids is trying to insist that she pays for her dress (which I won't let her because I know the other two couldn't afford to pay for theirs) and she expects to pay for her shoes. We're still debating whether to have matching shoes or whether to just match the colour. If we don't get matching ones then I'll probably let them get their own.

They'll all pay for their own accommodation though.

I'm paying for:

Dress

Shoes

Jewellery

Hair

Makeup

I'm also paying for the night before and after accommodation for my sister (MOH) and her husband (usher) but only because I want them to stay in a specific hotel (OH will stay with my BIL and my sister will stay with me and then we'll swap). My other BM is paying for her own accommodation.

I'll also be getting them presents and I always pay for lunch when we go looking for dresses! I'm getting married abroad and they're putting in a lot of effort to come out for the wedding so I want to treat them quite a lot.

In my opinion, if you're telling them what to wear/how to have their hair etc, you should pay.

I am paying for their dress, shoes, jewellery, hair and makeup and a gift.

We are getting married abroad so I am also paying for their flight, they will pay for their own accomodation.

They were supposed to pay their own dresses asked them 2 years ago but looks like i will be paying for 3 out of the 4 dresses, they will sort their own alterations out, they have long dresses so own shoes, maybe will get them a simple necklace and they will be doing their own hair and make up. in our family its expected that bridesmaids and other bridal party members sort themselves out.

Its a funny one... I've bought the girls dresses so far, and will be buying some jewllery. They both have short hair and are really good at doing it, so leaving it up to them and also wasnt planning on anything for there hair. Make-up again I'm not forcing them to have anything in particular so leaving that up to them. As for shoes, I will buy them, but if they offer to pay I'd be ok with that.... as I still have the alterations to pay for!!!

When I was BM earlier in the year (I hated the dress) I offered to pay for my shoes (£20) and the Bride took it which I was fine about, but I also paid for the alterations to the dress!!!

When I was a bridesmaid a couple of years ago (twice) the dresses was paid for by the bride/bride's family and the brides gave us jewellery to wear as a present, but I paid for my own shoes and alterations, and did my own hair and make-up; I was planning to do the same for my bridesmaids. If they were coming to the wedding just as a guest they would be buying entire outfits, so I don't think this is unreasonable. I would like to be able to pay for shoes but I can't afford this as well as the dresses; although I may help out one of my BMs as she doesn't have a lot of money. It totally depends on your budget and I'm sure your BMs will be fine with whatever you do - after all they have agreed to be your BMs because they care about you and want to be part of your day.

I feel quite stingy now. ?

Mine bought their own dresses, though I allowed them fairly free rein in picking them - if I'd had a more set idea of what I wanted, then I'd have expected to pick up the bill.

They wore their own shoes as I wasn't bothered if they matched or not.

We discussed getting professional hair and makeup for them but they all decided they were happy to do their own.

I bought them their jewellery as a gift and paid for their flowers. My parents paid for the accommodation. They all seemed happy with this arrangement and were absolutely fab in the run up and on the day itself.

When I was a bridesmaid earlier this year I brought my own dress, shoes and accessories. I did my own makeup but the bride paid for my hair to be done.

I have paid for my bridesmaids dresses. They are sorting their own shoes (should be able to wear the ones they did earlier this year) and accessories although I have brougt them a bracelet as a pressie. They are paying for their own hair and doing their own makeup although if I can afford it I will pay for their hair also. They are also paying their own accomodation.

Paying for:

Dresses (up to a max of £120 per dress, any xtra they can pay themselves)

Flowers

Accommodation pre wedding

Jewellery (as gift)

Hair (apart from 1 whos hair is so short theres no point)

They are paying for their own:

Shoes

Accommodation the night of the wedding (this was decided on the basis they would be doing this as guests anyway if they weren’t BM’s)

Makeup if they want it

Hair trial if they want one

I'm paying for their dress, shoes and their gifts will be their accessories. The dresses came in under budget, so I'm also paying for their make-up, but they're paying for their own hair. I'd have covered it all if the budget had stretched, but it doesn't. We're staying at MOH's house the night before the wedding, so no accommodation costs.

I'm paying for:

MOH - dress, shoes, accessories. Her hair always looks good so she'll do her own and I'll be giving her a Boots vouchers to buy some make up. I'm not having my make up done professionally so if she wants to pay for hers then she can do.

Flowergirls - dress, shoes, accessories. Too young for hair and make up!

I'm paying for the dress (possibly shoes - depends on the price of the dress) and hair and make up.

I've budgeted £150 for her outfit and her hair/make up will cost me $100 when we get over to Vegas

I hadn't even considered jewellry to be honest

I had four adult bridesmaids and paid for the dress, the flowers, the hair and makeup, hair accesories, and necklace, earings and bracelet. I didnt pay for their shoes but only because they insisted on paying for something.

I had another 4 flowergirls and paid for shoes, dress, hair, hair accesories, wands and a few other bits. It cost me a fortune looking back but I wouldnt have changed anything.

2 of them had to travel a 400 mile round trip but all the bridesmaids stayed at my mums the night before the wedding, and the guys stayed at the venue because they gave us a complimentry room, and on the night of the wedding they paid for their own accomodation.

If you want them as a bridesmaid you must expect to pay for everything and only on their suggestion should you reconsider.

We paid for our bridesmaids dresses, shoes, hair and make up, two nights accommodation (plus their partners). We bought them jewellery and clutch bags as a gift. It was lovely to treat them as they were just brilliant bridesmaids, very helpful and supportive. We provided similarly for our ushers and best man too.

I'm having 5 bridesmaids & I am paying to get their dresses made, flowers & will most probably buy the hair accessories/jewellery as a gift.

They will buy their own shoes & pay for their own hair & make up if required. I've given them the choice re hair & make up - everyone has different hair types etc so would be difficult to find a uniform style & it will be expensive (we have a set budget!) I'm really not fussed anyway as long as the girls are comfortable. They are choosing whether to get their make up done/hair professionally & I've sent them the prices of the ladies who are doing mine (they're giving us a good deal) but I'm not going to force anyone.

I / my mother paid for:

dresses

shoes

jewellery

make up

hair

I let them do own tan (I did my own) nails etc.

I have bought all 5 dresses will get shoes and pay for hair, only have 1 adult so she is happy to do her own make up, will buy jewellery for a pressie x

I'm having 3 adult bridesmaids and 1 flowergirl. The MOTG is paying for the bridesmaid dresses, and for everything for the flower girl (1 BM and he flowergirl are her grand-daughters)

I am unsure about the shoes, but I have brought them each a necklace and earring set as a present.

As for hair and make up, they are happy to do their own so will be doing this.

Vic

I am having MOH and 1 adult bridesmaid (my sister and OH sister) and 1 flower girl ( OH neice) and they have all insisted on buying their own dresses from the moment I asked them (obviously the flowergirls mum, OH other sister). They also all insit that they have their own shoes so will prob get them some really good pressies and FOTG has offered to pay for hair!! So not much left really. Extra special pressies I think!!! They have had complete control over their dresses though just so long as they are some shade of blue they can have any style or length.

This is a difficult one for me! I am having 2 adult bridesmaides and 2 flower girls. The flower girls are both neices and i feel we should pay for everything as they are both under 5 and will probably never get to wear it all again. One of the adults is a cousin and when i was bridesmaid for her mum she paid for everything and i feel we should do the same. However, other bridesmaid is my friend who when i was bridesmaid for her last year she ended up lumbering me to pay for everything despite telling me she would pay for the outfit! I had to pay for my dress, shawl, shoes, bag (all which she picked) plus my hair and make up and even my own taxi to the wedding! I kind of feel annoyed at paying for it all for her after that but not sure how to arrange it. Its going to be a tricky one i think! Plus if you pay for bridesmaids what do we do about ushers and my possible 4 mini ushers?!?! Its going to get stupidly expensive!

I am also being a bridesmaid for my best friend next year. She is paying for our dresses, we are getting our own shoes and I think she may be paying for our hair. We are doing our own make up.

This would majorly bother me too. I think if it was me I'd want to pay for the one bm, and not the other. Can you do that in secret?! Have her pay it and then reimburse her or something? I'd hate to have to pay for everything for a bridesmaid who made me pay my own. I guess it's a touchy issue though. With regards to ushers etc, our boys are hiring their own. We're doing that because chances are they'd have hired kilts for the wedding if they were just guests, so it's not costing them any more. Plus, we can sell the dresses afterwards, can't do that with hired outfits! It's the "done thing" in our circle that the boys pay their own, suppose it depends on what is usually done amongst your own family and friends.

I don't think what your friend did was right but if it was me I'd take the high road and show her how it's done!

The dresses don't have to cost the earth - I have found five fantastic dresses for £28 each from a little boutique and the shoes were £10 each from eBay and are gorgeous! I'm actually annoyed I didn't get some for myself while they were still in stock.

Won't the ushers all be in the same suits? If so, I would have thought it was your responsibility to pay as you'll be dictating what they wear. If you can't afford all the suits, personally I wouldn't have the mini ushers.

See.... hence my point about it being a difficult one! If she hadn't have made such a big fuss at the start when she asked me to be bridesmaid about how it wouldn't cost me a penny and she was insisting on paying for everything then I wouldn't have minded so much. Similarly if her budget changed during the planning and she then couldn't afford it I would have understood but it was literally a case of her handing me the dress, shoes, bag and shawl as we went to pay! She then sulked because I said we couldn't afford the £180 to stay at the hotel on the night of the wedding! So yeah I am not sure about that. Half of me wants to take the moral high ground and do it properly, half of me thinks I could spend that money elsewhere! I think I will wait until we go dress shopping and then see on that one! As far as ushers go its been the norm in our family for people to pay for their own but in the OH's family the grooms family would normally pay. Again this is difficult as I have many more from my side of the family and I don't want his parents to pay for all of my family! So thats yet another conversation we need to have with all the people involved. And as for the mini-ushers... my brother and SIL sulked about them not being pageboys and we wanted them as part of the wedding somehow so this was a compromise! God there are so many politics and I was adamant I was not having this for my wedding and its already started!!!

My Bridesmaids are paying for their dresses up to £100 and i`m paying the rest. I`m allowing them to choose the style and i`m paying for any alterations - hopefully they can wear it again after as they`re going to be knee length Dessy dresses. I think if i was going for a long dress i`d have to pay as they`re less likely to wear them again.. my long bridesmaid dress is still where I put it 7 years ago!?

I`m paying for shoes and flowers also. x