what do ushers actully do?

Ha! I didn't win my award for nothing!

WTrickersS.

I never have understood the need to come onto and thread and ask unrelated questions, seemingly just to be contrary. Each to their own, I guess. Bit tedious though.

I had a spray tan done for the wedding I was at this weekend as I was a BM. Even if I say so myself, I looked fabulous ?, I looked like I had been on holiday and I had a lovely golden glow and was far from orange... not as good as the bride of course ?. My OH said that with the dress, hair, make up and spray tan, I looked amazing and flawless. I can't groom myself to this extent daily as I don't have the time/money, but I will certainly do so again on my wedding day.

TBH I see where AJ is coming from on this one - Usher's roles can be important ones IF you've chosen people who are willing to carry out the role and see it as more than just a free suit and a thank you gift (as one of you said!) - our two of our 4 ushers were invaluable at our wedding, handing out buttonholes, directing people to seats, keeping us relaxed prior to the ceremony (I arrived early thanks to my parents and the 1st person I saw was one of our ushers!) - assisting the photographer with organising people for the group shots, looking out for guests and helping clear up at the end of the night (we had a village hall). TBH these 2 ushers were far superior to 1 of H's 2 best men! I only had little bridesmaids so cannot comment on their duties, but TBH a lot of bridesmaids don't take the role seriously now.

With regards to both sexes, it all depends on the individual and the duties each specific wedding requires of them.

I'm glad someone knows what I meant.

As a couple, you decide what the ushers and bridesmaids duties are, based on your needs, your day's plans, and what they are like as a person. Bridesmaids can be as useless as a couple of ushers that spend all their time propping up the bar, or can be as much of a rock as you can expect them to be and then some.

If you don't pick ushers that are reliable and able to get on with the tasks given, then it's really your own fault if they turn out to be next to useless on the day - just like bridesmaidzillas who feel they have to somehow outshine the bride (or get blindingly drunk and embarrass everyone, or hijack your speeches to announce their engagement/pregnancy etc etc).

I'd actually be interested to know how many people with 'useless ushers who did nothing but get a free suit' actually didn't ask them to do anything on the day, as opposed to those who were given a list of tasks and failed to carry them out.

Our 2 ushers will be giving out "Order of the Day", pointing people to where to sit, showing them where the toilets are, rounding people up for photos, and any other jobs given to them as required on the day - as well as the Best Man who will be coordinating things under my instructions if I am not able to carry them out myself. Me and the BM (plus the ushers when they arrive) will be setting up the table decorations etc in the morning whilst my b2b is upstairs getting ready, and I will be updating her with picture messages on my phone with progress although naturally as we've discussed our plans thoroughly beforehand I will be overseeing things "on our behalf" and I have every confidence that the room will look how she expects it to be.

The ushers are actually the partners of two of the bridesmaids, who are family members and friends, and I know I can trust them to turn up when required, looking as required, and not nursing a monster hangover from the night before. The BM is also trustworthy, so I know I have no danger of waking up naked, painted green, handcuffed to a lamppost in the middle of the M27 on the morning of the wedding...

Unless you ask him really nicely ?

Hahaha Cricket Bride! Nice for someone to know how to have a joke! Some people *cough aj* have to make everything so serious!

This is probably the biggest and most expensive day of our entire lives, so I'm sorry if treating it seriously is a problem.

Yeah your wedding day is, today is not. You're chatting on an internet forum getting unreasonably wound up about other people's decisions. If I was 15 I'd be telling you to 'take a chill pill' ?

Can I nab the above for my signature?

Knock yourself out haha! ?

I love how men always take the p155 out of us silly little women for 'being convinced by the industry' that all this beauty stuff is necessary, and are quick to judge women who get their nails done/spray tans etc....yet I bet if a primped, preened and tanned Jessica Alba turned up at the doorstep they would have trouble turning her down.

W2B moans when I don't want to eat out because I'm watching my weight, go to the gym all the time, spend hundreds in a salon; yet always compliments me when I do all these things and admits she likes to 'show me off' when we go out, plus I know she fancies the pants of Alicia Keyes...and I bet she wouldn't if she was overweight, wore no makeup, didn't do her hair etc. Same with makeup; complaining when we spend an hour in the bathroom then going crazy over us when we come out of it looking particularly done up....REALLY irritates me.

I'm sorry if you think that spending X on our clothes/beauty products is silly, but as a woman we are judged by our looks every day...that's just the way things are. I'm happy to lounge around in old PJs and no makeup at home but on a day with over a hundred people having their eyes on me, and cameras everywhere I might just want to feel a little bit more confident and beautiful than normal.

W2B only chose to have one bridesmaid as she has minimal prep in the morning and night before...she's just wearing a suit. Her bridesmaid will be there for moral support NOT, I hope, because she doesn't want to marry me but because it's a brave thing to do to stand up in front of a lot of people and spill your heart out in a personal way, especially for a shy person like her.

Also, let's be honest, the brides tend to do more of the planning and know what's going on and it's probably wiser for the bridal entourage to be bigger so they can troubleshoot.

I had to google to find out who she was for a start, but a brief look at the first few pictures that comes up tells me she's not really my type and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be hers either.