What do you think of these 'money as gift' poems??

I idon't think so many people think they are rude, just more tacky.

If you want money then most people prefer you ask for it in a polite way instead

I idon't think so many people think they are rude, just more tacky.

If you want money then most people prefer you ask for it in a polite way instead

I am the same as you we dont want a gift list will have been together 11 years when we get married, i am half tempted not to put anything and if people ask simply say that we just want people to come but if they need to money is appreciated towards a honeymoon!!!

This is a nicer way of doing it. People will still buy gifts and vouchers too.

These always cause a rift on here!

I don't like them, if you want money ask for it, or say nothing at all!!!

This is what we wrote in ours... right at the end of the extra informationy bit of the invite.

"We already have a beautiful home together and so have set up a gift list with our travel agents. Gift Vouchers are available by calling xxx and quoting reference number xxx. Thank you!"

Yep, I think the poems are a bit tacky, but the actual 'asking for money rather than gifts' is not.

I personally would assume, if an invitation made no mention of it, that cash was wanted/would be appreciated, but not everyone thinks the same. We wrote about gifts on our wedding website rather than in the invitation, but again, that's a personal thing...

I kind of just think, at the end of the day this is one of those topics where you almost inevitably will offend/upset someone, so you might as well do it the way you want to do it and then at least you're happy!

I think that nowadays most people give a gift of money anyway, without having to be asked.

your guest know your circumstances and that you probably have everything you need for the home, so it kind of goes without saying that they will prob put money in your wedding card.

If it were me, i just wouldnt say anything! let people give you what they want to give you and be grateful )

I have to side with others that its also pretty tacky.

I'm also not a fan of being asked for money. It just feels crude and shows no imagination.

Vouchers I think are a good compromise. If you get them for places like John Lewis, then you can spend them a dozen different ways, on your house, clothes for yourself or whatever you like.

If you are planning children, then vouchers for Mamas and Papas or the ELC would be perfect.

Its much nicer to know that you are going to spend a gift on your new family than potentially on cigarettes and alcohol.

I think they're rudeness wrapped up in a poem.

If you want money, ask for it in a normal way.

WSS.

I can't help but pull a face at them when I read them. I think they're twee and tacky.

We are not having a gift list, like everyone else here, from living together we have pretty much everything we need (or have space for!) BUT if people feel they want to give a gift we will offer the option for people to contribute to our honeymoon. We are hiring a VW campervan to do a mini-tour around Devon & Cornwall so will offer people the option to donate cash if they are happy too but also suggest food and drink for the trip as some people are still a bit ‘funny’ about giving cash.

Personally I hate those poems as I think they are so twee and sickly, but as quite a handy wordsmith I was thinking about doing some sort of tongue-in-cheek version instead!

We've been having a similar dialema and have decided against the tacky poems!

We are not mentioning gifts in our invites - if people ask we will explain we are saving for our next home - "up-sizing" to a family home for the pitter patter of tiny feet after the wedding and would gladly accept donations towards this.

I must admit I'm not sure I like the idea of any form of gift list/poem in the invites....rather presumptious that people are going to buy a gift. OK most people do....but still?! We've decided we'd rather wait to be asked.

And if we end up with 12 toasters.....eBay!!!!

I don't want to ask for gifts but am worried that if we don't specify this then we will inevitably end up with things we don't want or need. People will go for obscure things like vases and other clutter so I think vouchers are a good idea, it's just finding the words.

I like the travel agent voucher idea, may use that one.

Hi

This is a poem used by some clients of mine recently:

GIFTS

We know it’s not traditional

It’s not the way it’s done

But instead of a wedding list

We’d love a bit of sun.

Please do not think of us as rude

Please do not take offence

We do not want to upset you

That’s not the way it’s meant.

We’ve lived together quite a while

And some of the bills are paid

We’ve got our plates, our pots and pans

Our plans have all been made.

So if you’d like to give a gift

To help us celebrate

Some money for a honeymoon

We really would appreciate!!!

I don't think people would think it tacky at all, personally I'd much rather give someone a small gift of cash and know that it will be appreciated than to um and ah about it and end up giving them something that ends up either being put to the back of a cupboard or passed on to someone else!

Very twee in my opinion. If you want money just say it - don't put it into a convoluted verse.

I would. I don't know anyone in 'real' life who does like them.

We've asked for money to go towards trip and things on our honeymoon without having to use the above poem, which by the way I would still class as tacky.

I received an invite to a wedding last year with this verse in and thought it was tacky - sorry! It is just a personal thing, i just don't like them!

I am working hard to come up with a way of saying what we want to say about wedding gifts that is personal and particular to us. I think what I dislike most about these poems is the fact that it takes so little thought to just go on the internet and get one, I am sure for most that is fine but personally I like to be more individual!

As you can imagine, as a stationery designer I have been sent quite a few money poems over the years to include with guest information sections of invitations. I'll remain diplomatically neutral as they are entirely down to the request and taste of the client.

However... they'll often take up far more room in layouts than any of the other (more useful) guest information put together eg accommodation, directions, taxi rank numbers etc and therefore give far more prominence & fuss to the issue of gifts than necessary within an invitation. ?

Personally I hate them. As others have said, I think they are twee and tacky and also an offence against the rich and varied English language!

I am not keen on being asked for money either, my view being, if you can't afford it (ie honeymoon, big house etc) then don't buy it - or save up! I realise that many people are happy to give money, and certainly in some cultures it is absolutely expected, but I would always prefer to give an actual gift. I'd give vouchers if I had to, but probably never cash.

We have managed to put together a list of "nice to have" memorable gifts if anyone chooses to buy us a present!

If you honestly believe in 'presence not presents' then don't contradict yourself and just don't ask for anything at all. That's what we did and we only received a couple of presents, some vouchers and mainly got cheques. When we were asked about what we wanted we stuck by our feelings of not wanting anything at all.

A poem is dressing up the fact you really don't want people to go to the effort of buying a present that they believe you will like. I just think it's rude.

If I got a poem asking for money I'd actually buy something because I'd be peed off by it. Whereas if I didn't get any gift request I'd give money.

Personally I can't stand them but you should do what you want to!

We are going to have a Honeymoon fund via Thomas Cook. We can afford the Honeymoon if we get no donations, but thought that anyone who wants to donate is better doing so via that than having lots of cards filled with money lying about on the day. Thomas Cook provide us with little cards which go in with the invites which explain that we are registered with them and give a ref no along with instructions on how to donate by phone, post, online or in store.

Personally I don't like the poems but have no issue asking for money, and wouldn't have any issue giving it. Similarly, if people bought us keepsakes such as cake knife, wedding certificate holder, photo frames, albums, etc. we would also be very grateful and would not be offended that they had ignored our 'gift list'.

I don't like money poems either! I have no objection to people asking for money (and will be doing so ourselves).

You could just follow the others suggestions of how to ask, or you could not mention it in the invite. The last 2 weddings we went to made no mention of gifts, when we asked they said they wanted money. I think this is what we are doing. That way, if people already have an idea of what they want to get us they can, if they don't know they can ask and will be told money!