What to do about facebook

Put a note in with the invites and get the vicar to ask for no mobiles to be used in church even for photos. A friend of mine's family was devesated when a "friend" of the family posted a picture of an open grave with the coffin in at a funeral

I personally asked a friend to post a pic on fb for me when we got out of church so friends I have in the US could see.. can you not put a status up on your fb before the wedding along the lines of '' dear lovely friends- if your coming to our wedding please PLEASE can you not post any pictures onto fb until we say you can'' many thanks titch83

Some people amaze me! Wonder how they would feel if it was the other way round! X

We could but that wouldn't stop people putting pics of children & I wouldn't want to announce that on Facebook as some people might take it the wrong way (especially if they do post pics) x

Id just have a note on the order of the day, i don't think it would really be necessary on the invites and a little out of place, i think it'd be much more suited to the order the day and perhaps get your vicar to make a little announcement ie posting photos online without the bride and grooms permission.

I would either out it at the bottom of the Order of Service or my photographer suggested putting a note on the invites saying no photos to be put on facebook without the bride and grooms authorisation? I don't think were going to mention it although I would be disapointed if pictures popped up on facebook.

Even with you deleting your account for a while, it doesnt stop people posting photos on their page!

We had a similar issue as we got married abroad and then had a big party when we got back, where we were wearing our wedding gear again. I didn't want any posts on FB to spoil it for the party at home.

Before we left, I changed my privacy settings so that nobody could tag me in any photos without me agreeing to it. I asked H to do so as well but he never got round to it. Typical!

I wanted to get the minister to say a little something in the church, but H thought that was too over the top, so we just got it round the guests in an informal way the few days before the wedding that we didn't want any pictures on FB until after our home party.

One person decided to ignore that and posted a picture and, of course, as H hadn't changed his settings, he was tagged. I was initially fuming, but soon got over it!

I know it wouldn't be the end of the world for pictures of us went on because its just one of those things but I'm very adamant I don't want any pictures of the children as we've never had them on before. I'm hoping most people see we don't put them on ourselves so would know not to put them on x

I feel quite strongly on this one, and I don't even have any children to protect from Facebook. I'd just rather have a day uninterrupted by camera phones in my face! You see so many pictures appearing on Facebook, with the bride and groom in the middle, and a herd of phones all pointing at them all around! For me it kind of ruins the moment. We're definitely going to ask people NOT to use phones (especially for pictures!) in the church, we'll put it in the orders of service, a sign at the door and ask the vicar to say it as well. If anyone does ignore that (which I'm absolutely sure some will) I'll scowl and ruin the photo!

I think it's perfectly reasonable not to want pics of your children on FB, perhaps be a bit louder about it with friends and family leading up to the big day, so they can spread the word. I do think it would be appropriate to mention in the order of service/the day.

I think if it's very important to you especially regarding the children you should mention it in the order of service. Also if you see a lot of the people coming could you bring it up in conversation before the day so they are aware of your views? Friends of mine decided they didn’t want any photos on FB but didn’t tell anyone so after the wedding they untagged themselves and sent a very rude message to all their friends telling them off for posting photos. In my opinion you can’t get cross after the event if you haven’t told anyone before. By spreading the word hopefully people will respect your wishes and a polite reminder in the order of service will jog memories and make sure no-one gets carried away in the excitement.

Im 100% with you here!

thankyou for bringing it up, ive said to my partner and he said that we could put it in the invites....

if we annoy someone, oh well! lol

? I think this is a risky approach. Some people will put the pictures up because they think it shows they were proud to be there and want to share the great day with other friends. They wouldn't see anything wrong with it, and might not see your point of view. I agree you should put a note on the order of service, to avoid you getting disappointed if people upload the pictures, at least when you ask them to take them down they won't be able to say "sorry, I didn't know you didn't want them up"

I know we can tell some friends and family we see but I do thinks its best for something in writing like the invites as at least then the evening guests will know too. X

Bluebell I completely agree. I am going to ask for no photos except the official photographer during the ceremony. I dont want a load of people standing with mobiles held up in my professional photos!

Why would someone do this? I've never seen anyone post a picture of a funeral on facebook anyway- seems very odd to me!

I'm not that bothered about facebook pictures going up- Everyone I want to be there, will be there anyway, and will have seen my dress, etc by then anyhow, and so not too bothered if anyone else sees it. I don't think I'd care on the day either, as hopefully I'll be too busy enjoying myself!

Ok firstly, who takes a photo of a coffin at a funeral!? WTF?! That's so horrible!

Now that I've got that out there, I'd definitely have a note, whether it be from the minister or on the invite, people will 100% definitely be taking photos even if they're told 5 times not to. At one wedding, a minister told everyone no photography and people still got their cameras out...with flash!

I know putting it on the invite might come across strong to the guests, but if you really want to stop them, you'll have to come across strong, because honestly, 2 minutes after being told, people do just think no one will notice them taking a sneaky photo and they won't think twice about uploading it to facebook, it's just the way of the world nowadays.

I think order of service and the registrar/vicar saying something, and spreading the word yourselves should be ok. But if you feel really strongly about it then only you will know if an invite note will offend your guests, or how quick they'll get over it. I personally would not find it rude. It's your day. I don't mind the facebook pics going on so much bit we are adament no photography during the service apart from the professional. All you could here during my cousins ceremony was the noise of cameras being switches on and camera phones clicking. So annoying!

I think you are 100% fine to do it in any way it gets the point across. It is YOUR day and if you wish to be the ones publishing the pictures, then you have that right.

Although that being said, my first step would be to make it so no one can tag you. I realize the pictures are still out there but hopefully not everyone will see them. I think its very rude when people "steal" other peoples thunder. When my brother and SIL had their babies, I was soooo excited but I stayed quiet until THEY could be the ones announcing the news.

I have never really considered this but it is something to think about! I generally hate photos of myself and have it so no one can tag me without my permission of Facebook. With camera phones etc I feel I run the risk of being photographed at very unflattering angles etc and it would totally ruin my day when I see them.

I have a few friends who won't tag anymore, but comment their own pictures with people who are in the pic ! So people will still always know who is who on it and everyone who is their friends (probably friends of friends and also maybe even public view) will see the pics.

However, ou can block people from seeing any tagged pictures at all even if they are common friends, so lets say my ex is still friends with my friends if my friends tag me, because my ex is blocked from seeing anything I am tagged on, he wouldnt see that picture. I can also block friends of friends, so only our common friends can see tagged pics.

When people stop tagging me, everyone can then see these pics as normal.

I don't get annoyed by any of it, and friends do what they want and choose, even if the pic is mine, like someone said above, this is the world we leave now,

Just bringing it up as something to keep in mind if you DO worry what will end up in Facebook/Instragram/Twitter etc...

I think definitely put it on the Order of Service. If you put it on the invite, they're reading it months(?) before the actually ceremony, and will probably have forgotten by the time, so tell them there and then.

Can I ask, what are people's reasons for not wanting their photos put online? (apart from just wanting to veto the hideous ones!)

I considered stipulating a ban on FB pictures in the invitations/OOS. However, we didn't get around to it (read: forgot). Not one of our guests has ever posted a photo of our wedding, and I think that's because Boy and I never have. In my cabbage, it's very rude to do so without implicit consent from the bride and groom that they are happy to publicise their day (which adding their own photos might indicate).

It's your choice to do so. Nobody should make that choice for you.

Privacy for me.

For me, I just feel like its my moment to post, not everyone elses. Most of my family wont be at the wedding due to distance so when I am able to post it, I want it to be me that posts it and gets the feedback. Maybe its selfish but thats just how I feel

I'm so glad you said that cos that's what I thought, but I kinda thought I can't get away with asking people not to put their own photos up as its selfish!! Ideally I'd like everyone to wait until the pro photos are up so people that weren't there see those first, but that could be weeks and weeks later!

As it is at the moment I have to authorise the photo if someone tags me, so I'll just have to leave it at that. We're setting up a Photo Upload Station at the reception so guests can put their memory card in and upload a copy of their photos to us before they leave, so at least we'll have them too!

Just let your guests be aware of your feelings about photographs on Facebook and I'm sure they will oblige.

I loved seeing the photos that people put on facebook in the days following the wedding. We didn't have any pictures ourselves by that stage, and some people got some great shots, so it was really nice to have them to look at.

If you do want to be in control of the photos for a specific reason, I would just be open about it in the invite and order of service. Saying it's for privacy reasons does sound a bit ridiculous (unless you are actually famous and selling the pictures to OK). But people will have alot more respect for your wishes if you explain it's because you want to be the one who gets to send them to friends and family who can't be there.

I would put something in your invite/order of service. Then change your privacy settings. Personally its easier for mine to go on Facebook as we have too many relatives to send piccies to them all.

Personally it didn't bother me, my friends and I post photos all the time.

However, you shouldn't feel pressurised to be involved in shared social media if you don't want to. Just be honest with your guests and as your friends and family they should respect your decision...

To be honest If pictures go on of the two of us it won't really bother me so much I just don't want our children on the Internet what so ever. Regardless of privacy settings I think you can never be too careful when it comes to the Internet. It's great hearing everyone's opinions and thanks for all the advice x