what to do about reception meals feed people once or twice??????

We're doing that for the same reason- no evening buffet! It's been suggested that we should mention on the evening invites that food won't be served. Feel a bit weird about saying it but might be best.

I agree with why you are doing it as we too are paying for everything ourselves.

I think I would probably expect an evening buffet but would totally understand if I was notified before hand.

xx

I would understand but best to tell people in advance so they make sure and eat.

It's a good way to save money. I would definitely let ppl know there will not be an evening buffet. I've never not been served food at an evening do so never eat before I go- you could end up with some very drunk guests ?

Welcome.

As others have said, most people would expect at least a basic buffet of some sort provided at an evening, whether they were an all day or evening only guest. "No food at the evening reception" is indeed a good way to save money but make sure your venue allows you to.

Most venues that specialise in weddings insist that you must have an overpriced wedding breakfast during the afternoon, then some sort of food served during the evening. It's a nice moneymaker for them, regardless of your own thoughts on how you want your day to pan out.

Obviously you say you are in the early stages of planning your big day so you do have lots of things, probably including a venue, still to organise - but if you are insistant that you want no food during the evening celebrations then make sure that your venue is happy with that. From experience, most venues know that they can sell your date to someone else if you don't take it, so they won't compromise on the issue.

If you want a licensed wedding venue (such as a hotel) where you can have the ceremony and reception etc all in one place, I think you'll be struggling a bit - but if you're having a church or registry office ceremony then going on to something like a village hall where you're basically organising everything (food, drink, set up, decoration etc) yourself then you are more likely to be able to get what you want, and more options like a barbecue or hog roast become available to you.

Although it may seem a good idea not to have evening food, you may find that it actually works out more hassle and expense than someone doing everything for you in a licensed venue. There are often other ways that you can save money with a wedding that allows you to provide evening food if it's purely budget worries that are making you think "no evening food". For example, a relative with a nice car or an executive taxi company can work out much cheaper than a vintage wedding car hire, and it still gets you there on time.

Also reducing "provided alcohol" packages is a good saver; ours was about £15 per head for four glasses during the wedding breakfast which we felt too much to offer so as alcohol is unimportant to us we are offering a non alcoholic package and letting people buy their own drinks at the bar if they want it. On that note, don't even think about offering a 'free bar' all night as that'll drain thousands from your budget.

If you shop for your dress at the right time, you can get an 'end of season' bargain and save hundreds of pounds on your dream dress. Similarly, for bridesmaids high street "posh dresses" can look just as good as proper bridesmaid dresses costing 2 or 3 times the price. You also don't need to spend £500 on "bridal shoes" which nobody will see under a floor length dress!

If you have time and the skills, making your own invitations is a good money saver as well, and also the menus, order of the day, table plans, placenames etc etc.

Pruning the guest list is a good way to save money too - you don't have to invite everyone from work, ex school friends, distant relatives you haven't seen for 10 years etc etc. If you don't care whether they come or not, don't bother inviting them. Choosing a smaller venue where your numbers are restricted can make this a lot easier!

Although they say the average wedding can cost £25,000 these days it's perfectly possible to have a great day for a lot less - and many of us round here having been through the same struggle will be more than happy to share our moneysaving tips.

Thanks everyone for your input!!! having a little think this morning and a light buffet will be a good idea These forums are fab - getting some fab ideas and advice!! Thanks again!!! xxx

Lol - AJ, you are a mine of information!

I was going to say that people shouldn't really expect anything, but they do. If you do get a venue that will allow you not to have evening food, and youi really don't want to cater for people, then you don't have to cater for them. Just make sure to put on your invitations that there will be no evening buffet so that people know to eat before coming out! I'd not be put out by this - I'd rather know!

We are having an evening buffet at our do but it was something that we wanted to do for our guests and was within our budget.

Good luck with your wedding planning - enjoy!

Not particularly - most of us planning weddings have come across some of the issues being raised by those "further back" in their planning, so we're able to share our experiences with those that are just asking the questions we've already got the answers to.

In fact, that's precisely what these forums are here for.

Hellooo!

We are having lots and lots of cakes and big cheeseboards instead of an evening buffet (we think) and we will be making this clear on the evening invitations as I would hate for people to feel hungry (our venue is in the middle of nowhere, too) so we will have something like:

Lots of cheese, bread pickles and cakes served at 8.30pm

You mustn't feel embarrassed to do this - tbh if I am going to a wedding evening do, I don't usually touch the buffet, I get on that dance floor and I don't move so it wouldn't put me off at all!

'If you don't care if they come, don't invite them!'

AJ - That is the best thing I have ever read on hitched. Its so easy to get wound up by the 'politics' involved in weddings! So simple, but such great advice!

Just a thought but what about not having seperate evening guests? You could have a late wedding where everyone is invited and serve everyone food once at say 7pm? Would depend on your numbers but this may work?

Are you actually having 1930 guests or was that a typo?!

Cos if its not that is a crazy number - larger than most celebrity weddings!

I read it as the time - 1930, ie 7.30pm.

haha - i feel like an idiot. I just re-read it and it makes perfect sense. My contacts have been in all day so I am going a bit blurry now.

(thats my excuse and im sticking to it!)

We are also planning and paying for our wedding ourselves and dont want to spend a huge ammount as we would rather put it to the honeymoon.

So we are getting married later in the day and having Wedding Breakfast at 6:30.

If I do have evening guests, there will be only a few extras and they will come after 8, and will get pork pies and wedding cake. Which is plenty for them IMO.

Every wedding I have been to where they have put on an evening buffet, it has been very much wasted. I dont like waste.

The waste worries me too. I don't mind paying for it if it will all get eaten. But surely all of the people who have been there for the breakfast wont be hungry enough to make use of the buffet. So do you order the buffet for numbers based on evening guests alone?

Each venue will usually have their own requirement but ours states you have to cater for all your additional evening guests plus no less than half of your day guests.

We are also trying to reduce costs by thinking about not having an evening buffet or having something simple and cheap. The buffet at our venue is £17.99 per head and so would cost us over £1500 for our guests!

The chhese board/ nice bread sounds cool We have had a little chat _ my FH is originally from South Africa so thinking of a braai (South African BBQ) with compnay we found locally. They do canapes, S.A hog roast/salads etc canapes for £22.95 per head As thinking of having reception in local venue so then we can get at a great discount as FH knows owner!! maybe then have simple evening food As mentioned as above hate seeing waste!!!

First time round I had a late wedding (4pm) followed by a big buffet for 120 people - worked out cheaper than a sit down for 50 then cheap buffet for 120.

Hog roast is a great idea - I'm looking at one for my 40th! - people can have as much or as little as they like, just a nibble of salad or chunks of pig.

I think not having evening food is fine, but you would have to let evening guests know beforehand. I would try to eat, but with all the getting ready I might not manage, especially if I think there will be a buffet.

My theory is that you wouldn't have your tea at 5ish and then have another one later at home so why expect it at a wedding. I also do not want people sat down, stuffing their faces and being boring.

We are not getting married until 3pm. Fancy BBQ for day guests at 5.30/6pm and then evening guests at 7.45pm. We are having a sweet table and cupcakes and popcorn and toffee apples. It's all stand up mobile snacks that will keep energy up but not over fill people. They should be dancing to the band not sat eating. :-)

Even snacks such as yours in the evening would be fine. I just think that if our evening guests are arriving about 7pm, tehy will need to leave at about 6:30pm, the women will probably take around an hour to get ready, perhaps longer if having a bath, freshly washing, drying, straightening hair, etc.

I have my dinner around 7ish most nights, and as late as 9ish if it's a gym night as I go straight from work. I'm simply not hungry at 5pm and would never think to eat at that time. I think it's fine to not have a buffet, but that people should be informed before hand.

We are having a late WB- it will be served around 5-5:30.

We are having 120 people at the WB and then an additional 10 or so people will be coming to the evening. Evening people arrive around 8 (I can't remember what time I put on the invites now!).

We wanted to put out some food for those who come in the evening and for any day people who want a snack. We are putting out the food ourselves and will be doing enough for 65 people which I think will be plenty:

cupcakes (the wedding cake will have been served as dessert so there won't be any left for the evening), cheese, home-made chutney, bread, ham and sweets in paper bags