What to do about work colleagues

Eeek, awkward. If it was me I'd probably invite them all to the evening. If you don't, or if you pick and choose some and not others, you run the risk of a stressy atmosphere at work for months after the wedding. The girl you got promoted over is obviously the type to hold a grudge! To keep the long-term peace at work, what's a few extra quid to feed them some buffet and cake and have a quick dance with them? You'll have plenty of other guests there so you won't have to spend the whole night hanging out with them. And they'll all know each other so they'll probably have a great night! What are they like at office parties?

Sounds exactly like the situation I would have been in if I'd got married when I was at my old job - I'd have had to invite them all when I only actually liked about 30% of them! Luckily(!) I got made redundant a few years ago now & have a very different working environment now.

There's probably a handful of people I'd invite from the new place, my boss being one of them (I'm his PA so we do work quite closely, not as sucky-up as that sounds!) ? I also do PA work for another guy but not as closely, & I'm unsure whether to invite him too or not, & another woman who's a pain in the arse but will moan endlessly if I invite a few others & not her.

I think you just need to keep in mind that it's your day though ultimately & you should be surrounded by the people you like/love - I think if it was a case of a few extra £ to invite them to the evening I probably would just to keep the peace, but if one of them is an arse to you then I'd not invite her!

Office politics indeed!

Just do what I've done and not invited a single one of them, although my situation is easier as only my immediate line manager knows as they wanted to know whay I wanted such a long holiday period at the end of the year.

If you invite some but not others it causes bad blood, if you invite them all you end up with people you dont like there. Its a no win situation unfortunately. Out of the office of 9, I can say I would only invite three at most as I actively detest the others.

The only way around it if it allows would be to invite you immediate team only if you work in teams in the office.

Personally if im not invited to a wedding then I understand there are huge costs involved so it doesnt bother me but Ive seen the office fall out.

It all boils down to money (my evening guests would have been £25 a head if I had any) so you could use that as an excuse. Maximum occupancy is also another one (something along the line of 'oh Id love you to come but we can only have 100 poeople and its mostly family otherwise I would have loved for you to come')

I will have a similar decision to make shortly and I'm undecided.

What I would say though is that if you're inviting a group of people and there's only one or two that you don't like, I wouldn't worry about them, you'll be so busy on your wedding day and you'll have so many different guests that you'll barely even notice those people.

I work with a large team... 30+ permanent staff plus bank/agency staff who are around regularly... some of them I really like, some of them I'd wouldn't even acknowledge if I met them outside work.

I have debated over the wedding invite thing too- though it was NEVER even a thought to invite them all- quite apart from the fact that there is no way we could afford to invite them all, even just to the evening, there are some that I would be absolutely devastated if they turned up at all! I just can't stand one or two, and don't want to even think about them let alone see them on my big day!!

So my dilemma has been invite some or invite none- and I've decided to invite some- those that I really like and get on with and who I see and socialise with outside of work will get an evening invite, the rest of them can think/say what they want, they aren't getting an invite! ?

I think you should tell colleagues that you're limited for evening guests due to having large families. Choose the 4 colleagues who you get along with, and only invite them. Don't invite the horrid one.

I did a lot of dithering about this too, and in the end I asked myself two questions and the answer to both was no which settled it for me, so:

1. Do you socialise with them outside of work? Not just after work drinks, but would you make plans at the weekend?

2. Would you keep in touch with them if you/they left the company?

Personally I wouldn't invite any of them but if you do invite them all the chances are the horrid one you don't get on with won't want to come anyway

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your advice!

I don't think I'm going to invite anyone as I think it will cause problems if I'm selecting individuals and not everyone. Based on the way I'm feeling today (bitchy one has been blowing smoke up my managers arse all morning and my patience is wearing thin!) I just don't feel like I want them in my life outside of work right now.

Truth is, I don't think I would miss them on the day which probably tells me all I need to know!

Tricky, but it's your wedding and I don't think you should invite anyone out of obligation, especially if you don't feel close them to as a friend as well as colleague - imagine if you finished working there tomorrow - who would you want to see again, and who would you just wave goodbye to forever? Only invite people you'd want to see again.

As an alternative why not organise a have a little night out for everyone closer to the date, almost like an extra hen do just with your colleagues - you could all go out for dinner or drinks somewhere after work one night and you could make it clear that you're so happy to have some kind of celebration with them, and you're sad you can't afford to have them all at the wedding (blame venue capacity or money - nobody can really get cross about that!)

Good luck!

I sit on a table with 4 people and although we aren't close I am inviting them to the evening. I talk ahiyt my wedding all the time and it's alot easier now their coming as they get excited too! I only have a 40 person wedding so no other peiple a eupset they aren't invited! It went really well luckily!