what to do.... weddings abroad... or weddings at home

Hello

We were also confused as to where to get married, we both really fancied abroad until i went to a friends wedding in the UK. It was in the village we had grown up in, in the church with a reception at a hotel afterwards. It was then i realised that i wanted just that! I just couldnt imagine only having a handful of people there with me and also people not being able to afford to come or elderley family not being able to fly etc etc so for us a UK wedding was our perfect choice ?

Im sure for some people this option would be great and an amazing experience - especially if you are able to have a party back a home for the people who were unable to attend! (also you get to wear your dress again!)

x

We always wanted to get married abroad, purely for the cost and a combined wedding / honeymoon and then have a big evening do back home. I spoke to numerous travel agencies and they all said it was difficult unless you went with a basic 'brochure' package. One agency even said it would be a "logistical nightmare".

We went to 3 venues abroad last year, with the intention of getting married this July/Aug, but none of them met our full requirements.

In the end we settled for a wedding in the Lake District, which has lots of memories for us, but as it is now costing us 4 times as much, we have had to put it back a year. The saving grace is my nan, oh's dad and everyone we want there will be there, rather than only having half the people we love be able to fly over.

Also, we went to a wedding in Rhodes last year and it was soooooo not our cup of tea, so glad we didn't go abroad in the end.

IMO although getting married abroad is cheaper for the couple, in reality it simply passes the cost onto the guest who has to shell out for travel and (usually) accommodation if they want to attend.

However, if you don't mind people not being able to come as they can't afford to/don't want to spend money attending your wedding then I do think it must be a lovely way to say your vows.

Personally though, I wouldn't do it as I think it is a bit cheeky - especially when people suggest you turn it into your annual holiday as not everyone wants this dictated to them.

We are getting married abroad and have totally accepted the fact that we wont have everyone there that we would wish. Some people don't fly, some can't afford it and some people dont want to! As Gurzle said, you are almost asking people to use their annual holiday on your wedding.

We have found that most of the important people to us have so far said they will be there, of course that might change. Fingers crossed though.

My advice would be to speak to the really important people, so maybe immediate family, best friends etc and see what they say? I know that I wouldn't have wanted to jet off to the sun only to discover that my sister wasn't going to come. You will never please everyone, but think about what is important to you- and who you definitely want there when you get married.

We chosen to go abroad not just down to costs (as when you add things up such as translations, drinks, entertainment as well as the wedding package) but purely because the British weather is so unpredictable, we've been to so many weddings where the weather has spoiled the day. We gave our friends and family 18 months notice and chose a country which was cheap to fly to and had lots of choice in accommodation. We totally understand if anyone couldn't make it as long as my and my OH and parents are there we don't give a monkeys!

Some people throw a party when they get home for the extended family and friends, we're not bothering as we're unsociable sods! x

Hi

i looked into getting married abroad as thats what my other half said he preffered, we looked at majorca as my brother lives there. i did find a few places i really liked but when we sat down and wrote out how many people were going to go, with just close family and 5 friends each it came to 65 people. It was not working out that much cheaper and we were thinking about the cost for other people to travel so we have decided to book a wedding at home, which in the end i was glad cause i think my heart was not in it as i had seen my dress. I think you need to think what you really want, you can get some fantastic pakages abroad however you have to think if all the people you want to be there will go. My best friend went to mexico and got married just her and her hubby as that is what she always wanted and the night before she said she could not stop crying cause she wished her mum, friends and family where there.

x

Hi there.

OH and I are planning on getting married in Rome. We knew we wanted to marry and honeymoon in Italy as soon as we got engaged. I understand the comment about passing the cost on to guests which is why we decided on Rome instead of the Italian Lakes or Amalfi Coast as Rome will be much cheaper and easier to get to, travel around and stay there and people can come for two days rather than a week if that's what they want. Everyone we're close to is very excited about the prospect of going to Rome and those who can't/won't come then that's fine we take no offence and we'll have a big knees up when we get home. We haven't decided how many to invite yet but the minimum will be 17 inc wedding party.

Rome sounds lovely. We originally considered Mexico as I love the beaches there, but the flight is long and my OH's dad isn't in the greatest of health, plus it would probably end up just being the two of us - which is fine if thats what you want as you can always celebrate when you get home.

If you want family and friends to come out, I would look into a country where it's not too far, affordable and had good reviews and then start looking into a venue. We thought of Cyprus but most of the hotels there tended to do quite a few weddings a day which put me off plus it was quite pricey, we managed to get a 5 star hotel resort in Turkey for the same price as a 4 star half board hotel in Cyprus which did just the 1 wedding a day and had lovely reviews.

Our wedding package is costing about £1,200 on top of our 'holiday' and just need our wedding attire and to kit out the bridesmaids if you're having any. I think if you give enough notice to the people you are close to the important ones will come wherever you go x

We are getting married in Vegas. We had always said it was what we wanted to do, and as we've been together 7 years, it wasn't a surprise to anyone. I had always invisaged it just being the two of us, but our parents, and best friends all wanted to come, so we are now having approx 15-20 people come with us.

I do feel guilty for asking them to spend their holiday with us, but they seem to keen to come. i'll completely understand if they cant, and as a compromise, we will be having the live web-streaming so people can watch online and then we are having a big party when we get back.

We got married abroad just over 2 months ago and I can honestly say it was the most perfect day of my life!

We chose to go to Bali - an idea that started out as a bit of a joke! - as we wanted somewhere where the weather and blue skies were pretty much guaranteed and we wanted something a bit 'special' too. We found a perfect (and tiny) resort on one of the smaller islands off the mainland, which only did 1 wedding every 3 days, and the only people that came with us were my Dad and Step Mum; H's best friend and wife flew over from Oz too. For us, it was the perfect answer. We wanted something a bit more private and intimate (H's mother is far too overbearing to have "allowed" us anything small in this country!) and it was away from war-ing family members too ie my parents.

I can honestly say that I didn't miss out on anything. Everything was all I ever imagined it to be and more and I loved every second of it all.....I'd go so far as to say I'd do it all again, given the chance! The only thing that would have changed my mind would have been if my Dad couldn't have been there, horrible as it sounds, I wasn't really all that worried about anyone else being there and would have done it with just me, H and Dad if necessary.

We weren't planning on having a party when we got home, for exactly the same reasons as we chose to get married abroad. However, my new MIL has other ideas and has used every emotionally blackmailing trick in the book to get her own way, so I am now stuck organising a party I don't want and haven't got time to deal with simply so that I can keep some control and stop it all taking on a life of it's own (she's been overheard inviting people who've turned round and had to ask her to point out her son as they've never met him!). She's even gone as far as to withdraw her wedding present to us and told us she'll pay the same amount towards a party instead! Not only that, but I'm now stuck refereeing between parents and other family contingents that can't get on.?

Quite frankly, it all just goes to prove the point that we were right to get married abroad in the first place! It was our wedding and we did it just the way we wanted to......we're just suffering the consequences now!?

Hi

We have decided to get married abroad, in Sardinia, Italy. I'm originally from Finland and H2B is from the UK so we thought it wouldn't be fair if the other side of the family has to travel and the other side doesn't.

We'll be getting married in Town Hall with just our parents and having a sentimental ceremony (we can say and do and play what ever music we want) for everyone after that. The reception and the sentimental ceremony will be on a villa we'll be renting.

I think you should do just what you want. For me the most important thing is that my H2B is there and our parents. All my friends have agreed to come and they are actually taking a week holiday for my surprise. We are going to have around 30 people.

I wouldn't go for a package travel agencies are offering as I think they can't offer you as much attention as a wedding planner can. We have hired a wedding planner who has lived 6 years in the UK but it's originally from Sardinia and lives now there. She knows all the legal stuff and takes care of everything, so all we need to do is turn up! Not to forget that the cost and quality of food and drink that is so cheap in Italy.

Hope that helps your decision. Do what you want, not what others are expecting you to do.

-Laura

xxxx

We chose to get married abroad as we have quite complicated families, and we wanted our wedding to be what we wanted, not what everyone else wanted. We also wanted to get married somewhere special to us.

We loved greece, and fell in love with Santorini so we booked a holiday there, and found a wedding planner in greece so that we could have a bit more control over things like flowers, photographers, venues etc as when we looked at the travel agent route it was very restrictive to what the brochure offered

We then had a party when we came back in our friends pub which was great. It was dead informal and laid back and perfect for us.

OMG sod that! I'd tell her to shove the party where the sun doesn't shine. We were going to have one but the costs kept spiralling and my mum said I couldn't invite my dad unless he chipped in and realised that it wasn't up to anyone to decide our guest list other than us so decided not to. Would rather a weekend away on our own instead of having randoms there and MIL's overtaking, I think parents want a party to show off which is unfair. I couldn't justify spending over a grand on something we weren't fussed on, we'll have a meal out with friends when we get back. Stick to your guns hun! x