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knitting_vixen
Beginner September 2011

What's your opinion on church/registry office weddings and why?

knitting_vixen, 11 February, 2011 at 15:25

Posted on Planning 39

I am posting this in response to people's comments on registry office weddings. I am getting married in a registry office because I am an athiest and my h2b is agnostic. My family are all Christians and brought me up to believe that you don't call yourself one if you don't believe in God. There is...

I am posting this in response to people's comments on registry office weddings.

I am getting married in a registry office because I am an athiest and my h2b is agnostic. My family are all Christians and brought me up to believe that you don't call yourself one if you don't believe in God. There is no way I would get married in a church because it would not feel right.

The registry office will be smaller than we'd like (we can't ask half our 120guests to that bit as there's not enough room) and will be shorter than I'd like, but it is the way I want to start my marriage to my h2b. I am looking forward to it so much.

We are padding it out a little, we have music for when the guests are waiting, my entrance music, music for the signing of the register, music for our exit. We have a friend who will be reading a funny little poem she has written, another friend reading a poem we have chosen, my dad will walk me down the aisle (but won't give me away- see previous thread), we will exchange rings (did you know you can opt not to do this!>!) and we will exchange vows (not our own ones- ?). The vows are the most important bit to me and I am more than happy to do it in the registry office. It should take about 20-25 minutes.

I am not saying people should not get married in church, if they believe in God then fine! I like chuches and going to church weddings, the churches are full of history and are beautiful buildings. I have a pang of nostalgia when I go to one (as I spent a lot of my childhood in church). I should also add that I went to a church wedding a month ago- they had singing and readings and the whole thing only took half an hour!

It comes down to the fact that I (like over 30% of the population) do not believe in God and do not want to make promises to a being that I don't believe in!

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39 replies

  • ebony_rose
    Genius
    ebony_rose ·
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    No church wedding here.

    Neither of us is religious, so a church wedding wasn't even an option.

    OH got married in a hotel first time round, and hated it, so we're opting for a Register office.

    It does for us, as all we're interested in is the legal bit. Not interested in readings etc.

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  • teeheeyoucrazyguys!
    teeheeyoucrazyguys! ·
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    He wanted to marry two people who he had known for many years, and for one (me) who had grown up in the village and had visited the chuch on numerous occassions.

    and WE DO BELIEVE if you had feckin bothered to read my other posts. That post was just stating that our minister didnt feel the need to ask us 100 questions or to attend the church on a regular basis....

    Should I share with you the joke about the prostitute he told us, whilst having a cuppa and biscuit in our lounge????? oh best not, you'll only get your iron knickers in a twist.

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  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
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    Genuinely not bothered, completely (again) been misinterpreted. It's a Friday night, it was flippant joke, it's all cool, glass of wine?

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  • knitting_vixen
    Beginner September 2011
    knitting_vixen ·
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    I totally agree with you and yet another reason we want to get married in the registry office in the town we grew up in. We are choosing to get married away from the place we have settled but in the area we are from, and where our families live. My mum can drive past the office after the wedding and smile to herself. I can go and put wedding flowers on my Gran's grave if I want (nearby not at the register office of course). My aunt got married in the same place, and like you I love the fact that 100s of couples get married there every year. We will be picking the traditional vows because I like the fact that they are the same vows as said by our parents and grandparents.

    Ours won't be impersonal at all!

    I also think it's rather retro and think our wedding pic of me and groom outside office will look so cool!

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  • Saisi
    Beginner June 2011
    Saisi ·
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    Absolutely, I'm planning one in exactly the same place as my parents' had their wedding photo and am going to hang the two photos side by side!

    EDIT: also planning on traditional vows for precisely the same reason!

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  • CupcakeQueen
    Beginner January 2011
    CupcakeQueen ·
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    Never even gave a passing thought to a church wedding- didnt want a registery office either so went with civil ceremony in our chosen venue. Yes its short but means no less.

    I went to a catholic wedding a few years back- 2 hours long!! ? I am sorry but I was bored stiff. It was also very religious with a communion and group prayers. Whilst I respect people do believe, I dont, and felt very uncomfortable having that situation forced upon me. I then went to another last year- 45 mins- stuck to what we were there for e.g vows, few songs and was lovely.

    I think you can lose interest easily if its too long, at my ceremony I felt everyone at least kept the attention. When I get invited to a wedding, I always hope its civil.

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  • stripeyrache
    Beginner February 2011
    stripeyrache ·
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    I'm Jewish and would have loved to have been married under a chuppah at synagogue. But as my OH is not Jewish, we can't be married in the synagogue. I do think it is a shame as the Jewish marriage ceremony has lovely symbolism and great meaning, but ultimately, what I want more is OH, and our civil ceremony will do the same job. The ceremony will still feel 'right' as we've chosen music and readings that reflect us.

    We're thinking of having a blessing at the synagogue on our 1st anniversary.

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