Where to start...

Hi hun

I'd say, start with setting a budget and go from there. Your budget (be realistic!) will dictate everything else. That way you can prioritise what is important to you both, and what you can compromise on, or do without.

This means that you will get the day YOU want, rather than being pressurised into spending more and doing things just for the sake of them.

The great thing about weddings now is that there is no set "formula", you can do and have exactly what you want, mix and match the things you love, and ditch what doesn't work for you.

My niece is getting married next year, and she is in very much the same boat as you. Her and her fiance are both quiet people, and our family is close and we see each other all the time (bar C19!), whereas his family is quite fractured and distant, both physically and emotionally. They have booked a small boutique country house on the Wirral for a midweek wedding next October. The ceremony is later in the afternoon, and there will be a buffet and dancing to a playlist (no DJ) until about 11pm. No formal sit-down meal, speeches, etc. Everything is under one roof, and combined with the midweek, out of "peak season" date, it has kept everything low-key, intimate and great value for money.

Hope this helps,

Love, Ali in Liverpool xx

View quoted message Thank you ever so much for your reply.


Aren't families a funny thing! It's very alien to me how a family can't be close as mine are but there we go. Really struggling on deciding if an evening so is on the cards. Every wedding I've ever been to has an evening do, and o know a wedding is what ever you want but that's just it I don't know. I just imagine if we didn't have an evening do the day would almost be cut short or awkward. X

View quoted message

I know. You do get in the mindset of what a wedding is "supposed" to be like, don't you?

I went to a friend's wedding a couple of years ago, his second marriage, (younger) bride's first. They had a simple registry office ceremony (although the Registry Office in Liverpool is St George's Hall, so it's pretty spectacular!), and then we made our own way to the Uni Of Liverpool campus pub (we were all Post Grad Archaeology students at the time). Super simple, but lovely as it was just close family and friends and no stress for the bride or groom.

They had a religious ceremony in the Bride's home country later that year, so all of her family could celebrate.

My niece, as mentioned earlier, is getting married a year in October. We have had to postpone our September wedding for this year by 12 months and 1 week, so now we will be getting married just 4 weeks before she is. I have spoken to both the Bride and her mother, (my cousin) and they are ok with the situation. We wait years for a wedding and then two come along at once!

I know that the two days are invariably likely to be compared, which I feel is very unfair, both are celebrations of love and committment and that should be enough for anyone.

At the end of the day, the only people you HAVE to please are you and your other half. Do what makes YOU happy, and stuff everyone else! They should remember that being invited to a wedding (of any shape, size, description and shenanigans) is a priviledge and an honour. If they don't like it, then they don't have to come!

Ali xx

We are getting married August 2021 ?
At first we were going to have a big wedding (church then reception afterwards) until we sat down and realised we were only really doing the reception for the guest as we are both quite and shy people and don't like all the attention on us.

We have decided to simply go to the church and get married have a few photos taken and then come home, the only thing we maybe might do is go to Miller and Carter steakhouse after with a few family members for a lovely meal if we feel like it nearer the time but we have said we are definatley going on holiday with our kids with the money we saved by not having a reception.
It's your wedding don't be afraid of pleasing everyone it's about you and your partner and what you both want no one else xxxxx