Who pays for bridesmaid dresses?

We are paying for my BM dresses and they will be aged 19, 18 and 17... Although all 3 of them are more than capable of paying for their own dresses none of them asked to be BM I asked them so we paying for them same as the ushers and pageboys suits x


Edit: We are also buying the girls shoes and paying for the hair and make-up as I'm telling them how they are having it and what they are wearing x

I'm buying the dresses, as I'm dictating which ones they will wear. I'm letting them wear their own shoes and if they want hair/make up done they're paying for that (totally up to them).

I have always thought and experienced and on telly as well that the bride pays for the dresses (in the UK)

(in the US though the norm is that BM pay which is why on some films BM are paying)

I think if it is a specific shoes maybe you pay maybe you ask for a contribution but if it is just a colour or something they already own I think you are fine with getting then to pay

Hair and make up if you want something specific that needs a hairdresser or make up artist you pay - but if you aren't then you don't. (you can always get them all to have the same hairstyle that they can do on each other - simple like or just say go with whatever you want)

I would say you pay (all the times I have been a BM the bride or who ever is paying for the wedding has paid) but if you are giving them more free rein with what to wear I see no issue with asking for a little contribution from them (half or less I would say)

I think getting them to pay for everything is a bit - off because you are asking them to wear something specific and be in the wedding. So you foot most of the bill.

(if they were just guests they might not be buying a new outfit - you can't make a decision based on that)

We are paying for our BM dresses (and their hair - but they are kids so i'm taking the hair as a 'treat' I prob wouldn't do that if they were adults) if they were adults we would still pay.

General rule is if you want to dictate 100% what they wear, you pay. If you can be a bit more flexible (i.e. ask them to buy a colour), then it's reasonable to ask them to pay contribute.

Personally, I would never have asked my girls to pay, especially as it's easy enough to not spend silly amounts on BM dresses these days.

My MOH suggested last week that she would pay or at least contribute to her dress but it's really not something I am comfortable with. I have a budget of £100 for the dress and then a further budget for her shoes, hair and make-up which I think should be more than sufficient given what I am spending on my own dress/shoes etc. If for some reason we REALLY can't find a dress she's happy in for that money then I will consider letting her pay the extra but the day will already be costing her enough with travel from north of the border for both the wedding and the hen weekend (all the hens are insisting on splitting the cost of my weekend so i don't have to pay for this) so the least I can do is buy her dress.

We paid for their dresses/shoes/accessories/bags/hair/makeup/hotel.

I wouldn't have taken any money from them. I asked them to be part of our wedding, it was our job to make that happen. Had we not been able to pay, I wouldn't have had BMs.

I am paying for my bridemaids' dresses. I think it's only fair. Or at least I have a budget for £100 each and they will pay any extra, if they want something particularly expensive. I am not sure about shoes and hair - I have another £100 in budget for them, so may buy them one or the other.

It's usually the bride that pays, as she's asked them to be part of the wedding party. The same with the shoes, if you are wanting to dictate what they wear. Mine wore long dresses, so I asked them to wear whatever sandals/heels they wanted, as it wouldn't have mattered if they were matching.

Thanks for all your replies everyone. I guess the general opinion is that I pay for them. I left their choice of dress entirely up to them. The only constraint I placed was the colour. They've chosen an Alfred Angelo dress which is £160, so that's £480 on bridesmaid dresses. I'll be paying for hair and make up too. Would it be acceptable to ask them to pay for their own shoes then?

We don't have a huge budget and my girls know this. I an going to pay for the girls dresses but they have said if I can't find anything within my budget that we all like the. They will help out. In not paying for their shoes etc but am not bothered about them having matching shoes or anything so they can wear something they already have. We will be buying a little gift for each of our girls to say thank you for helping on our day, but again nothing huge as we are working to a budget. I wouldn't expect them to buy me a full outfit, accessories etc but I don't want them to be out of pocket for the day x

The one my girls have chosen is an alfred angelo and is an eye watering price of £210 each. Im trying to track them down cheaper at the min because the prices varies from shop to shop. My girls have offered to contribute but ideally i dont want them to if they dont have to, I asked them to be my bridesmaids so i dont feel that they should pay for the dress.

I'm hoping to have my two best friends as BM's, I said I will pay for their dresses, since I asked them, plus its like a present. I dont mind on style or colour, so they are giving me ideas, but I do have a few rules for picking them, they MUST be £50 or under and they MUST be able to wear them again. So nothing too bridesmaidy. They are both petite, but one is an 8-10 and the other a 24-26. I'm struggling to even find one for my larger friend.

This is what l think. If l was having bridesmaid then l would have paid for their dresses and hair / make up. I am being a bridesmaid next month and l am buying my own shoes. I am getting some silver sandals which l know l will definitely wear again

Until frequenting Hitched I had never heard of a BM paying for their outfit.

We don't have a huge budget for our wedding but I am buying my bridesmaids' dresses - they just have to choose something that they will wear again as this is also their gift for being bridesmaids! I said I was happy to buy to them but didn't want to buy something that would only be worn once, so we've all found dresses that they would love to wear to parties, etc, so I'm fine paying for them. I'm also buying their shoes but they can choose what they like, again, ones that they will wear again.

Only once have I experienced paying for my own bridesmaid's dress. Well rather my mum payed to hire it, when I was 14ish. I remember it costing £80 to hire, which I thought was an insane amount of money 16 years ago! The bride justified it by telling my mum that she'd be buying me something to wear anyway, erm not at £80 she wouldn't be, or I may have already had something!

All other times being an adult bridesmaid I've had a say in the dresses every time, never been totally dictated too, and always had the dress bought for me. I've also never worn any of the dresses again - even the ones that weren't 'bridesmaidy'. Maybe that's just me and I don't go to the type of parties that an ex bridesmaid's dress would be appropriate attire!

BMs paying for their dresses was an american thing which has been brought over here I think.

Personally I wouldn't ask my BMs to wear and pay something I had chosen myself. As I chose I paid.

If you're on a tight budget and want your BMs to pay then they should choose.

I never considered asking them to pay. I made sure they were both happy and comfortable and involved when picking dresses but I had the final say. I can understand shoes especially with long dresses but ours are knee length so I'll be getting them as well. And paying for their hair and accessories. We have a budget for them, we didn't even bother looking out of that budget price range. I don't think you can say they would buy an outfit anyway. Things are tight at the minute so I've wore the same outfit now a friends wedding, a member of my family and a member of OHs family. All the guests were different. And when I've been a bridesmaid I've had dresses that could be shortened or worn again but I never have. Too me they will always be a bridesmaids dress and I would never wear a bridesmaids dress when I wasn't a bridesmaid.

I wouldn't drea, of asking them to pay for their dresses, shoes or anything else. I was quite chilled out with regards to hat and make up so I said if they wanted their hair out up etc then they could pay for it but if not then just to have it how they wanted it. I have heard of brides inflicting spray tans, nails and eyelashes on their bm's and en expecting them to pay! As with footlong if I couldn't have afforded to pay for them I would only have had the one or none.

I don't think it's unreasonable, as long as you don't decide you want them all in Louboutins! Or you could pay for the shoes and say that if they want hair/make-up doing, they can pay for that themselves.

I feel bad because we went BM dress shopping before I'd really found Hitched, and they all just paid straight away without even discussing it - I didn't realise that wasn't supposed to happen! They didn't buy new shoes for it, and all chose not to have hair/make-up done, but we did pay for their accommodation for two nights, jewellery and flowers.

I think if you're paying for their dresses, hair and make-up and don't mind if they wear different shoes then it's fine to ask them to buy shoes in a certain colour or wear some they have in that colour.

I'm having 2 adult and 2 child bridesmaids and will be buying/have bought dresses, shoes and boleros for all of them plus their jewellery which is part of their present. We're all doing our own or each other's hair and make up. They've had some input into everything but the final choice of what they wear is mine so I feel I should pay.

HIya

we paid for our bridesmaid dresses and shoes! I wanted 5adults and 3 children bridesmaids and realised if we were buying dresses from bridal stores this wouldn't be possibly, so I managed to find a local dress maker that made all 8 dresses for a grand total of £550 including alterations!

As we got married abroad I wanted knee length dresses so shoes were on show! We struggled to find a pair all the adults liked so I let them pick a pair each from next in ivory as long as they were all different an i paid for them!

I think if you are asking them to be a bridesmaid you should pay for everything! Just shop to your budget!

i have been bridesmaid twice for two friends and I have brought my own shoes as I'm fussy! I asked what colour I needed to buy an then picked a pair I was happy with!

heres a link to a few of my pics if you wanna look:

http://billchandphotography.com/page16.htm

Im paying for the dresses all 6!! 4 little ones from BHS hopfully around £30 each. However the two older ones, I will pay for a style I choose, ect if they want a different one they can pay the difference! ;-)

I say usually the bride covers the costs..that aside perhaps have the conversation and see whats the general consensus...no harm in asking?

I'm a firm believer in bride pay for BM dresses. They wouldn't need that BM dress, if it wasn't for Bride making them be BM, so why should they pay for it?

Plus, you don't need the expensive Dessy dresses - you can shop around and get decently priced dresses.

Exactly this. We've paid for all their dresses/shoes/accessories/hair and make up, etc.

I have 4 bridesmaid I've asked them to make a contribution to their dresses... I'll pay half!

However if they choose a dress less than £70, I'll pay!

Im being laid back I've told them the colour and asked them to ind a dress they like, hopefully something they'll be able to wear again!

Im having nothing to do with shoes, accessories, and hair... They can do what they like.

my thing in asking them to contribute, is the fact that if they had not been by bridesmaid, they would have been guest for which they would have been happy to splash out on a whole new outfit plus accessories for... So I'm letting them do the same just in my chosen colours!

I spent a fortune on my bridesmaids, but they did me a huge honour in agreeing to be my bridesmaid and travelling out to Australia to be with us.

We bought every part of their outfit, hair, makeup etc, paid for my sister's hotel the night before and night of the wedding (as we had asked them to stay in the same hotel as us), paid for their meal (and their husbands') when we went out the night before, plus gifts.

I don't agree with the rationale that they'd be buying a new outfit if they weren't BM. After going to around 10 weddings a year in around ****, I have enough outfits to keep me going for weddings for the next ten years! I haven't bought a new wedding outfit for at least 3 years, I just wear something I've already got.

I agree, can't apply this to everyone but I know my friends especially the girls I've asked. Like me they'll always buy a new outfit for a wedding!

We are paying for the bridesmaid dresses...I have 5 adults and expensive taste. I did not think it was fair to expect them to pay for what I want them to wear xxx

I have two adult bridesmaids and one 10 year old bridesmaid. I want to pay for their dresses and wouldn't expect them to pay for their own. I am also paying for them to have their hair done on the day and they have offered to pay for their shoes which I have agreed to as I don't mind what shoes they wear. Both adult bridesmaids are staying with me at the venue the night before the wedding and i had originally asked for them to pay for themselves. After reading some comments on here, I am now wondering whether I should pay for this? I know one of my bridesmaids doesn't have a lot of money and I would quite like her to stay both the night before and the night of the wedding but she can't afford to pay for both (she is my best friend and my Fiancés sister, who actually got us together so very important to our big day). What do you guys think?

Hi all,

In contrast to most other replies on here my adult bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses. I would love to be able to pay for them but my fiance and I are paying every penny for the whole wedding ourselves and we just can't stretch to buying other's outfits as well. All of my bridesmaids said they felt priviledged to be asked to do such an important role on the day and were happy to buy their own dresses. As such I will obviously be flexible rather than dictating what they should be wear and ideally we will get dresses which can be worn again so they get the value from them. As has been said before, they would have bought new dresses for the wedding anyway and I'm not expecting them to pay much more than they would have in that situation.

If I am able to, I will look to pay for their hair and make up and they will obviously receive a gift for being my bridesmaids.

Other than the three adults, we will be paying for the 2 younger girls dresses.

G x