Who pays for what?? Bridesmaid dress

We paid for all suits and dresses.

The general rule is (as far as I'm concerned) - if you're dictating what they wear, you should pay.

If you're just saying - wear a blue suit/wear a pink dress I think it's more acceptable to ask them if they would mind paying for their own as they can get something in their own style.

Of course this doesn't work well if you want everyone matching.

BM dresses don't need to cost a fortune though - I got mine for £28 each in the sale! (Rise Boutique so highstreet rather than bridal store).

I'm having one bridesmaid and I've told her that I will buy her dress (or pay a certain amount if it's really expensive). I asked her to pick her own dress, but I think we might end up choosing it together, as she has been very sweet and wants to make sure it fits in with the feel of the day. I told her it should be a dress that she can wear again. I will get her something small as a gift on the day, but the dress will be her main gift I think.

The bridesmaid dresses we are paying for. Shoes however I am going to ask them to wear nude/cream/gold and that's it. They can wear a pair they already have or treat themselves to a pair of jimmy choos! The picky part of me would love them to have the same shoes but that isn't part of the budget.... We will also pay for hiring the best men suits. Ushers will get a tie and a pocket square bought for them.

Personally I feel like unless your allowing your bridesmaids to choose their own dresses and they can buy something they want and would wear again then you should pay for their dresses. You can have a look in the sales and get something lovely for not too much money.

We've bought our bridesmaid, flower girls and best men's outfits but the bridesmaids are getting their own shoes as 2 want to wear flats and the dresses are so long you can't see anyway x

As both my MOH and BM are plus size but have both lost a lot of weight in this 7 months ( without me asking may I add, they were just both in a point in their lives where they wanted to loose weight) all 3 of us went trough dresses online and after a couple of months of this they agreed on a dress they both loved and would feel comfy in. That was paramount to me. I was goin to pay for them both mut my sister MOH insisted on paying for her own.

I said I really don't mind what shoes they wear so they met up and got matching shoes, also a hair clip each for the back of their hair, they paid for that.

They are also paying £15 each for their hair on the day as they assumed they would be paying for that anyways.

If they couldn't afford it all I would of paid for it all, just some bits tey wanted to get themselves.

I paid for my 2 from the high street, but they didn't like them (we bought 2 to choose from with the view of sending one style back, they both went back in the end!) they then found dresses in the bridal salon they loved, so we've gone halves as they were obviously more expensive. We bought the suit for the best man, which came to around the same price as half of one of the dresses

I'm paying for my bridesmaid dress, and probably her shoes as well. I'm only having one and she can choose what she wants and can have something she can wear again. We're also paying for suit hire for ushers and best men. I don't think it would be fair to make them pay as we'll be choosing the colours etc and if they were just a guest they could wear whatever they wanted.

I agree with the general rule in that if you're dictating what they should wear then you should pay. We paid for everything for our BMs, including shoes, jewellery, hair and makeup.

I'm doing the same as a lot of people on here, I'm choosing my bridesmaid's dresses so I feel it's only fair that I pay for them! I'm buying their shoes too, but they're sorting their own hair out on the day.

Ive bought mine their dresses, jewellery and will be getting their shoes aswell. Havent decided on hair and make up yet, but i think i might leave that up to them

I've asked my best friend and her daughter to be part of my bridal party. We're paying for dresses, shoes, hair and make-up as I don't think they should be out of pocket because I asked them to be MOH & flower girl. If they were just coming as guests and wanted to wear something they already owned that would be fine with me but if I'm asking them to wear something that I'm choosing for them (even with their input) I don't think they should have to pay for it.

Hi, first of all congrats.

I'm a bride to be myself and also a bridesmaid before my big day.

My best friend asked us all beforehand and we agreed to pay for ours, shes on a budget and I'm honoured to be her bridesmaid. I think dress and shoes will cost us £50 each, then again there are 6 of us so we can't expect her to fork out. We are getting the dresses from Etsy and shoes from Ebay for her relaxed pub weddin. It's not being cheeky to ask. I haven't got round to finding my bridesmaid dresses yet, but if I find any around £50 or even higher I'll just say do you mind paying half. If they can't they can't just go with the flow

Good Luck

I gave mine a budget each, and told them I'd like them to wear a black dress of their choosing. If the budget allowed, they could get a dress, shoes, hair accessory etc within that. I left it up them to decide what they wanted within that price bracket.

I have paid for dresses.

Everything else they need to pay for as I have given free rein on shoes, hair, makeup (as long as not oompa lumpah drag queens - trust me it is a possibility!) & accessories x

I'm paying for dresses (High St) shoes and wraps (both from the internet). Jewellery they're sort of planning themselves as my sis has decided to make bracelets and another is looking into necklaces. All that's left to sort is something for their hair, which will probably be Accessorise or similar.

As someone said earlier, I will get them a small gift each, but all of the above constitute presents.

I think it is an american custom to expect the bridesmaid to pay for their own dress? Agree with what everyone else says - if you want to pick what they wear you ought to pay for it (what if you picked something they didn't like much? Bit harsh to expect them to pay for it. Or something they knew they'd never wear again, that doesn't matter so much if you pay). For me personally if I wanted groomsmen to match I would pay for their suit hire personally. I know it costs extra, but can always have a smaller wedding party... we might have 2 best men and no additional groomsmen anyways (probably 2/3 bridesmaids plus flower girl). I think though, if they are really good friends and you are really struggling it could be worth discussing how they'd feel about contributing (perhaps give them greater creative control). The girls I am likely to have often don't have that much money so I couldn't expect them to pay even though I am on a budget. I haven't decided about shoes, accessories, hair etc. Might let them pick shoes of a certain colour and see if they'll pay. Hair it probably depends on if I want it in a certain style, and I reckon do their own makeup.

I have 5 bridesmaids and we're on a small budget. When I asked them to be my bridesmaids I explained that I couldn't afford to buy them a dress but would offer £40 each towards it. They were happy to do that. As they're getting their own dresses, I told them they could go for pretty much whatever style they wanted as long as they're in similar shades of blush pink. I even like the fact that they chose a dress in their individual taste. You can see their personalities in their dresses. I love the mismatched bridesmaids look. I got them the same hand bag so the look ties in together even though the dresses are all different .

We've paid for all suits, dresses and shoes/bags for the bridesmaids and flower girls (mens dress shoes are where I draw the line price wise haha). That being said we don't have a huge wedding party I only have 2 adult bridesmaids and 3 flower girls and OH has 2 best men, his dad and our son so not too expensive.

I've had to buy my own dress as a bridesmaid before though and didn't mind at all x

I very much agree that if you want them to be part of your day and wear what you ask them to, the bride should pay. We are paying for my BMs, I think I'll get them to wear their own black shoes (I'm not too fussy with that), then I plan to get them a necklace as a gift, which they can wear on the day.

All that said, I am now considering borrowing the BM dresses my sister used for her wedding....

I paid for my BMs dresss and OH paid for his BM and ushers suits.

If you have the budget and you have a specific look in mind then you should pay. If you don't mind too much what they wear then you can ask them to pay if you can't afford it. I've always thought it was an American tradition for BM to pay for their own dresses.