Hi all,
Finally writing a post after months of lurking, reading through everyone elses threads!
I’m getting married in a month and extremely excited. This forum has helped me loads with questions I’ve had during the planning process.
There’s something niggling me at the moment though and I can’t find another post related to the same thing…
Basically it comes down to money and the cost of the wedding.
My fiancé and I a paying for the wedding almost entirely ourselves. My parents have contributed as much as they can, and would have done a lot more but last year my brother got himself into a tricky situation and they essentially bailed him out. I don’t resent him for this at all as I know it was hard for him, but anyway that’s another story…
My parents are very generous people and their children mean the world to them. I’m sure this is now where most of you are agreeing and thinking similar of your own parents, however I find this is not the case with my fiance’s parents.
They are nice people, but my gosh they are selfish. My fiancé is basically an only child (he has a much older brother from his mother’s first marriage but has never lived with him and he lives in another country). I have no doubt that they love him very much etc. but they just have a completely different view on things than I do.
When we were purchasing our first home my parents gave us the deposit money to help us out. His parents gave us £200 AFTER we had moved in. Now this is where I sound extremely ungrateful. I am very grateful their contribution and I know they didn’t need to give us anything but I’m just giving you a bit of background…
When we started planning the wedding, my parents had just given us the money for the house so I knew they wouldn’t be able to give us anymore. Despite this they have still paid for my dress and lots of other bits and bobs such as deposits for things. My fiancé came straight out and asked his parents if they would be able to help us financially with the wedding and they kept being vague about it but eventually they said they would pay for suits. Now, we’re extremely grateful for this and once again I don’t want to sound ungrateful but this is just a small splash is the ocean compared to the entire cost of the wedding.
What makes me annoyed about the whole situation is that whenever we mention the cost of the wedding etc. they come out with phrases such as ‘we would help is we could’ or ‘I wish we could help’ etc. and it just winds me up because THEY COULD. They have just announced their SECOND holiday this year (the first of which cost £5k plus), let alone buying a new car and getting laser eye surgery etc. Whereas my parents aren’t having a holiday this year. My fiancé is totally embarrassed about this because he knows how generous my parents have been with him and just doesn’t understand the way his own parents act.
I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with this sort of thing.
