Will I cause offence if I don't give step parents button holes?

'ello darlin',

I'd say that if your parents are getting one it's a good idea to extend the gesture to the step parents too. Yes, the usual drivel about it being an honour to be there, blah blah blah, but for the sake of inclusion and peace and quiet, I'd spend the extra couple of quid and do it. I did for my parents' partners and the effort was appreciated even though I moaned internally when I handed over the extra few quid for another buttonhole and a (smaller) corsage.

If you don't want to do any of that, your groom and best man idea is a good one.

I gave the Step parents buttonholes as it would have caused World War 3 if I didn't.

I really think that if you are giving your parents button holes then you should really give step parents them as well others wise it may cause friction its probally only going to cost an extra £10-£15 max. You could just gove to grrom and best man but I know that some parents would get offended if they did not get one!!! Good luck

I think you should give them to step-parents too really. Or just give them to groom and best man as you said.

My step-dad has helped to bring me up since I was 2 so he is def having one and Mr Kooks doesn't know his 'real' dad only his step-dad

As others have said, for the sake of £10-15 to keep the peace, it's a justifiable expense.

I have divorced and remarried parents, so there's three sets of "parents" on the top table, all treated equally with buttonholes etc. Although I don't ever call my step parents "mum and dad" - only my actual parents - I don't feel that they should be treated differently at the wedding.

Good, not just me going mad then.

My h2b doesn't have a clue about etiquette sometimes (he caused a big hoo-ha by not inviting some cousins of his- he said it would be fine and told me to stop talking about it and it cause a HUGE row- he actually had to write to his aunt to apologise!).

I'll bring it up with him again later.

Sorry, I agree just having buttonholes for the BM & groom would be a good idea.

I think it depends on the family. But on your circumstance, i'd say all parents (Including step) or no parents.

My stepdad is having a buttonhole but not my stepmom (stepmom having one would cause WW3 with my Mother). I can justify this by saying stepdad is signing the register, wheras stepmom isn't involved in the service.

I think this is an all-or-nothing situation, you either have buttonholes for all parents (bio and step) or none, just have groom and best man.

I've just realised I don't have these issues - there are no step-anyones in either of our families ? except my OH becoming a step dad on the day!

Maybe you could go round the family just 'checking' who needs buttonholes and who intends to organise (and therefore pay for) their own? I did this for my wedding and saved a wee bit as my SIL decided to arrange her own corsage and buttonholes for brother and nephews ?

I think it depends how close you are and whether they are going to be on the top table? If so definitely, but if not and you're not overly close I wouldn't be inclined to bother personally. Sorry if that sounds mean!

I am giving them to my step-parents though only my real parents will sit on the top table. I want both steps to have button holes as they have been part of my life for 20 odd years, and I want them to be singled out as special too.

We're going to cause offence left right and centre!!!

FIL2B isn't in a suit. It was offered but he didn't want one (he left H2B & MIL2B when H2B was 2 so not greatest of relationships) but I haven't got him a buttonhole.

Both sets of parents are divorced. My Mum has a boyfriend of near on 10 yrs......no buttonhole. Dad is remarried. Dad's wife.....no corsage (I don't refer to her as my step Mum as Dad met her when I was 21 and she has no part in bringing me up so I don't see her as a "Mum" just my Dad's wife). FIL2B's wife again no buttonhole.

So long and short of it is if you are not in the bridal party (I'm defining this as anyone in a hired suit) or bio-Mum you haven't got a button hole!!

In hindsight I may get FIL2B one as he is on the top table but I'm not extending it to the others.