Wording on invites - can you stipulate a certain dress code?

I think it depends how its done.

We did an FAQ insert which went on the reverse of the suggested accommodation list it had questions such as can I bring plus ones, should we eat beforehand but also had is there a dress code?

You could do something similar as a guest I usually find it helps to have a bit of guidance.

PersonalKt I would never imagine wearing anything other than a nice dress and heels to a wedding and certainly never jeans and trainers! But if you're worried I like the FAQs as suggested above!

Only you know your guests and how likely they are to turn up in jeans and trainers. As has been said above, I would never dream of turning up to a wedding in anything less than a nice dress and heels but there could always be a renegade in the bunch!

The invitation often sets the tone for the event so if that looks formal, I would expect people to realise it is a more formal event. Perhaps instead of a full on dress code, you could add a line to the invitation like "Dress to impress"?

I've seen a lot of traditional style invitations that will add a mention about black tie in the bottom right corner, or just as the last line of the invitation, but that is because it is a step above normal wedding attire. I'm not sure about indicating formal/semi-formal dress. Is there a reason you think your guests will under dress? Barn weddings are very popular right now and if I was invited to one I wouldn't think casual dress was appropriate.

I would like to think no one on the planet would rock up in jeans and trainers to a wedding but stranger things have happened ?

I have been to 2 weddings where there was a "dress code".. one was where all guests were asked to wear black (a bit morbid i thought) and one where all ladies were asked to not wear a hat/fascinator.

If you think that there is a possibility of someone coming in jeans/trainers then go for it, I'm sure they would feel more embarrassed having turned up looking so casual compared to everyone else, than you would be by putting a little note in with the invite ?

Hi

Many thanks for the replies - they are all extremely helpful. There is if I'm honest, two or three that could turn up in jeans/trainers so I'm just a bit worried. I know it wouldn't be the end of the world but I wouldn't want them to feel out of place either as I know everyone else will dress up, and in the photos it will just look out of place.

All food for thought I guess

Maybe just put something like "dress to impress".. then it's a bit more light hearted and not so matter of fact?

Oh god, I forgot about wedding hats - I really can't stand them and we are not keen on such formality - that's another thing? Can I tell people they can't wear a hat!

I am not coming across very well but I assure you I'm a nice person and actually hate bossing people about!

We once went to a wedding that was very laid back and the invites said feel free to come in jeans and T-shirts. Even after having those instructions from the bride and groom only one person turned up in jeans! Everyone else was dressed as they usually would for a wedding. Having said that, you know your guests and if you think it might happen then feel free to say something, it's your day! I've heard of couple banning guests from wearing certain colours so I certainly don't think asking people to dress up is out of order.

I don't think it's rude.... but kinda difficult to word in an invite. I've set up a wedding website. It was all free and it's amazing! I've been able to include a lot more details because there's space to be wordy!

The invites just say the date and time of the wedding and to look on our website for more details. Just an idea if you're struggling!

see, this is it EXACTLY... I got 'told off' just the other day for on here for being 'bridezilla' for creating a wedding page with dress code examples on the website - but we ARE having a casual jeans, shirts and boots wedding and I would not be happy if people completely ignore our theme, it would look absoloutly rediculous for people to dress in black tie for our casual country theme wedding but it obviously DOES need spelling out or people dont pay any attention

ive seen many forums where people moan they turned up 'dressed for a wedding' and no one else did, my argument is they didnt bother to read the wedding info and showed themselves to be a tit because they DIDNT dress for the wedding - my fiance does this too and it annoys me to no end, we get invited to fancy dress and he refuses to wear fancy dress 'because he will feel silly' then spend the whole night moaning he's the only one not in fancy dress and that he indead feels silly ?

as a side note to the OP, I wouldnt put it on the invite... its not the rudest thing ever to put on but I just think extra infomation should go on webpages or sent out after RSVPs

No its definitely rude and inappropriate. If there's for example a need for certain footwear, a friend got married in a cave for example so she needed to warn people about shoes then it's OK. But I dare say adults will know how to dress themselves. I would rather have a friend turn up feeling comfortable than potentially have to spend money on a new outfit they can ilafford.

I don't think it's rude. With the number of different types of weddings there are now, it's not as straightforward as wedding=smart anymore. At one wedding that I went to last year, a number of evening guests turned up in jeans, t-shirts, and trainers, and the bride and groom were perfectly happy about it. I've also been to weddings which have specified "festival attire" on the invitations, where the bride actively wanted people to turn up in wellies and shorts like we were going to Glastonbury. On the other hand, my friend is suggesting that she might want everyone in black tie for her wedding next year.

You know your guests best. I'm not planning on putting anything on our invitations, but I see most of our guests regularly so when we get asked about our plans I'm already dropping in comments about how we want it to be smart but relaxed, like a garden party. There are one or two who I know I will have to be a bit more blunt with, but as they're in the minority I'm not planning on actually putting it in the invitations. If we were having a larger number of guests, or there were more guests who I didn't speak to as often, then I would be more inclined to put it in the invitations or on our wedding website.

Offbeat Bride has a good post on this.

I have no qualms about people sitpulating a style of dress. People here are saying adults know how to dress themselves, would wear smart etc to a wedding and up until my grandfathers funeral earlier on in the year I would have agreed, however my uncles wife turned up in dirty trainers, leggins, a cardigan covered in dog hair and she hadnt even put a comb through her own hair. It was an utter disgrace on her part and it was an embarrasment to have the worst dressed person in the place a member of the funeral procession.

Most people will know what to wear and will come smart anyway but if you want anything beyond that (black tie and cocktail dresses) you will need to stipulate that on the invite.

We dont have a dress code listed on the invite but those who we are a bit will they turn up in trakkies or not we have mentioned its a minimum of trousers, shirt and tie for the men.

That's shocking! To be honest though, if someone thinks it's acceptable to turn up to a funeral like that, are they likely to take notice of a polite request on a wedding invite?!

I used to go to a lot of film premieres for a hobby. I never went in to see the movies or walked up the red carpet myself, but while we were stood by the barriers we used to get a free fashion show at the same time lol. One particular stand-out was a woman in her mid-50s, badly dyed hair with about 3 inches of root showing, no makeup, torn jeans, filthy trainers, and a Disney top which was so faded you could barely see the design and so mis-shapen that it was pretty much only good for pyjamas. Some people just don't know how to dress.

+1

I HATE not being given a ball park for what to wear... I DELIBERATLY ask at each wedding what style to wear and I have NEVER recieved an answer which is just damn rude in my opinion, why is it so hard for someone to just explain what they want... all they have to say is something like 'cocktail dresses either including or avoiding x,y,z colours' for god sake

I get very stressed around planning, I put a lot of time and effort into trying to find something suitable and its partly an anxiety issue and no one seems to get that, why is everyone 'dress code' such a closely gaurded secret ?

for instance my friend got married non traditionally in black with bridesmaids in purple and groomsmen in red and it was rock theme with skulls and guitars. thats a distinctive colour theme, you cant wear flowery colourful stuff or you will end up looking rediculous but you cant wear red/purple/black or you clash with the wedding party, can you wear jeans and a nice top like at a rock gig??? who know they wouldnt say

I asked a dozen times for colour suggestions or dress styles and they ignored the question and changed the subject everytime, now the go to 'safe' option is always a little black dress but if the brides in black does black become white??? (you never where the colour the brides wearing right???)

I put a lot of painstaking thought into finding something that was dark enough and styled enough to wear that wouldnt 'match' them and guess what... I ended up in the same colours as the mothers (which hadnt been mentioned before in the wedding colours) ? and felt stupid all day and all could be avoided if they had just answered my damn question ?

We put it on the information section of our invites, and just put "Dress Code: Cocktail Attire"

You know your guests best and if you really think there's a risk of people turning up in jeans and trainers, then by all means spell it out on your invites.

Dress Code: Semi-formal

I struggle with a suggestion for wording for the hats thing because a lot of ladies (myself included) love an excuse to wear a hat/fascinator.

Thank you all so much for replying - it has made interesting reading and it's good to see so many opinions on the matter