Worrying about divorce - odd title for wedding planning!

Have you already sent out invitations? Had the ball started rolling now? Are you going through lawyers?

No experience myself I'm afraid, but I can understand why you're stressing out! There is still plenty of time if it's all been started already.

Thanks for your reply. Not sent invites yet but we have sent save the dates. As our families are both having to travel we wanted people to have plenty of notice and some have started booking hotels.

They are not using lawyers as it's very straightforward. They had no children together and all the financial stuff was sorted 20 years ago! Even though the divorce is so straightforward it depends on the length of time the court take to process it!

xx

So have they already paid the court fees and sent the forms off? If so I'd be highly surprised if it doesn't come in before Nov. Worst comes to absolute worst could you have a blessing on the day with a friend officiating and then do the deed when you can in the registry office? x

They've not sent the forms off yet. He's planning to do that in the next couple of weeks. He doesn't seem to see there's any urgency and thinks that I'm stressing unnecessarily but I work in a different area of the law courts (nothing to do with divorces!) and I know what a mess all departments are in!

It has to all be completed before the middle of October in order to give notice.

I'd hate for everyone to travel if they didn't actually get to see us marry. Otherwise I would feel like we were just having a party.

xx

Surely the real bit is the vows and the promises though, not the bit where you sign to make sure you're not up sh*t creek if one of you dies? I'd seriously consider a non-legal ceremony on the day if for any reason it doesn't go through, especially seeing as your family have already made arrangements. Obviously it's up to you though. I'm sure it'll be ok but I'd be urging him to do it now, rather than 'in the next two weeks'.

"Surely the real bit is the vows and the promises though, not the bit where you sign to make sure you're not up sh*t creek if one of you dies?"

That's actually really made laugh!! Thank you ?

It is something to think about. A friend of ours is actually a professional Elvis impersonator so it could turn out quite well!!

xx

I was in the same posion ie never bothered with a divorce. Then a few years ago my ex decided he wanted to remarry. Assuming his ex has no problem and everything is signed stating neither has any financial claim on the other I think mine went through fairly quickly. However I agree it is time important and "in a couple of weeks" should be asap really.

You could of course push the wedding back "due to unforseen circumstances" it all goes boobies up but that can get expensive. I'm not even sure wedding insurance would cover you for it.

Just had a little stalk of your past posts and our weddings sound quite similar! We are doing registry office and then a pub. We both drink 'real ale' and are going around a few pubs this weekend to chat about options, a couple of which are on the Thames I'm really looking forward to a laid back day!

We're even thinking of asking our local (tiny) CAMRA pub to open before the ceremony so we can all have a pre-wedding drink.

My ex and I divorced amicably a couple of years ago. Like your partner, we had agreed the split of assets etc in advance (in our case, we had a separation agreement drawn up by a solicitor). However, it still took several months. There is a minimum length of time you have to wait between getting the decree nisi and applying for the decree absolute. I think from filing the first petition to getting the decree absolute took about 6 months for us. The basic steps are:

*File a divorce petition

*Other party responds to the petition within 8-21days of the date that they get the petition from the Court

*Apply for a decree nisi

*Receive decree nisi

*Apply for decree absolute (minimum of 6 weeks after receiving the decree nisi)

*Receive decree absolute

Formal separation of assets is a separate process, known as a Consent Order. Your partner may not have to go through this as so much time has passed since he separated from his ex.

You may find these links helpful:

https://www.gov.uk/divorce/overview

https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/apply-for-consent-order

I would advise that you don't set a date until your partner's divorce comes through - that way, you avoid any potential embarrassment.

My MIL just got divorced in Scotland. From date of separation to final divorce it took 1 1/2 years but the reason for that was the financial side of things. The actual divorce took about 6 weeks from being filed to being final I think. Hopefully you'll be able to get it sorted soon so you don't have to worry about it anymore.

Hi, through something I had to deal with recently for a family member we were advised by a solicitor that the whole process would take at least 3 months and that was if everything was sent back instantly by all parties/courts. The thing we were told is that courts don't look at divorce papers every day, they do it once every two weeks so it could take up to 4 weeks depending on when papers are sent or received just for 2 pieces of correspondence to go through. I would do as the other girls have suggested and start asap x x

Hi it took my OH 6 months so definitely get him to send the papers in now. If he does I'm sure it'll be fine but he should be understanding that this will put stress on you until it's done

Thank you for everyone's replies!! I appreciate people taking the time to respond!

So, we had a long discussion about it last night, made more difficult for the fact he's away at the moment as he's packing up his house to sell about 200 miles away from me! He's been really apologetic about making me stressed and just didn't realise how long it can take. I've stopped googling it as all I seem to be getting is horror stories and rung the divorce centre and they've told me it should be completed within 3 to 4 months. This still keeps us on track and gives us a bit of breathing room should there be any unforeseen delays! He's now completed all the paperwork and it's going to be sent first thing on Monday morning! (Unfortunately his marriage certificate is at my house but I'm making a special trip to his over the weekend to take it to him!)

We had talked about cancelling the date and that nearly broke my heart but we're going to stick with it and just keep everything crossed!!

xxx

That's brilliant, well done for having a good discussion about it. I'm sure the timing will be absolutely fine now he's getting the paperwork done xx

So good to hear. Now just enjoy planning! x