Would it be strange to add an extra Bridesmaid? UPDATE

Nope, I did exactly this, decided I was only having my 2 sister and niece as flower girl due to cost and having around 65-70 guests, we have a tiny church and I talked myself into it that it was the sensible thing to do.....well after seeing my 2 best friends and talking about the wedding I just felt so bummed that they weren't bridesmaids, it was constantly playing on my mind. After talking about it to my parents who know my friends really well they said just have them or you'll regret it!! I've asked them and I'm so much happier. It's totally the right thing and I wish I hadn't messed around. Have who you want...it's your day and you can't go back and re do it :-)

I added my friend a few months after initially asking my sister and cousin. I wasn't sure to begin with, but then I realised that I wanted her there during the morning preps and it would feel strange without here. I didn't even consider what three BM's would look like in comparison to the amount of guests that we've got - I just wanted her there.

I'm having five adult bridesmaids and three flower girls (more like flower babies) for 60-70 day guests. Haha! I'm a big believer in go with your heart rather than what it looks like!

I think that sounds fine and well balanced, even if it wasn't though as others have stated, its your big day and you have who you want..if it would mean a lot to you & her then do it No point having any regrets after the wedding.

I added a late one. I took her for a drink and told her that I'd been stupid and hadn't realised how much I wanted her there and how she was part of all my plans for the day. I cried, which may have helped I genuinely felt like a d*ck though. I can't believe I undervalued our friendship so much - I confessed this to her and promised never to do it again! It still makes tears prick when I think about it.

I added a late one too!

I got engaged in December 2011 and asked my four friends to be bridesmaids (it sounds greedy but I've moved around a lot and made some good friends who it wouldn't feel right having one and not the other) since then I have become close friends with one of the girls I work with, we are also in a 'set' of friends and I had the same fears you do about how they would react, but after being friends for a year and speaking or texting daily I realised that it was silly to worry about how they would react when actually what was more important was having someone who means so much to me there with me on the day!

To add to this because my other maids, my family and my MOH live so far away it was my friend who helped me with everything, she came with me on all my dress shopping, has been to my venue, has put up with daily questions from me about wedding things and has basically been a wedding planner for a very clueless bride! Ultimately it would have been wrong her sitting at a table as a guest when she has been by my side throughout the whole planning process! Also if it helps the other girls in our 'set' are absolutely fine about it now despite the fact that they can sometimes be a little school girlish about that sort of thing! And my latest maid and my other maids are secretly plotting my hen do across three counties without any introduction on my behalf between them!

The point I'm getting at is if we are lucky enough to be blessed with amazing friends then have them by your side on your special day, in theory you only get the one wedding day!

P.s I have five bridesmaids to my 80 guests so don't worry about number ratios!

Snap - I did exactly this!!

This is exactly how I'm feeling - really wish I'd just asked her in the first place!!! I feel very foolish!

Thanks all for your comments, I'm glad others have done it and I'm not alone!

I have 5 to my 65 guests. I think approached carefully and tactfully it will be fine.

I think this is what worries me more!! Unfortunately, tact is not my strong point!!

You can't go wrong! Say you messed up and dunno what you were thinking, she'll be too flattered to be cross!

Do it. I wish I had, I still regret not asking her. She was involved with the day and did a reading but with hindsight she should have been a bridesmaid.

Hiya,

I did this too. I asked my 2 best friends to be bridesmaids and thought that would be fine as OH only having 1 best man and undecided about ushers/groomsmen, plus we are having our daughter as a flowergirl and son as a page boy. We are having around 60day guests, however when I met with a friend that am really close to and like you she is in another 'set' of friends I realised how much I wanted her to be part of my big day, she knows my other 2 friends as we have had nights out together, so I spoke to OH about it as was worried it would look silly but he confirmed what I felt in my heart that she should be bridesmaid and not to worry about it.

I'm sooo glad I asked her and now have 3 amazing friends as my BM's which I can't be happier about! Plus its more 'hands on deck' for the big day, henny and preparations!!! ?

x

Hiya,

I did this too. I asked my 2 best friends to be bridesmaids and thought that would be fine as OH only having 1 best man and undecided about ushers/groomsmen, plus we are having our daughter as a flowergirl and son as a page boy. We are having around 60day guests, however when I met with a friend that am really close to and like you she is in another 'set' of friends I realised how much I wanted her to be part of my big day, she knows my other 2 friends as we have had nights out together, so I spoke to OH about it as was worried it would look silly but he confirmed what I felt in my heart that she should be bridesmaid and not to worry about it.

I'm sooo glad I asked her and now have 3 amazing friends as my BM's which I can't be happier about! Plus its more 'hands on deck' for the big day, henny and preparations!!! ?

x

Thanks so much for your replies - can't believe how many people have done this, glad I'm not alone. I'm definitely going to ask her - I'm meeting her for dinner and a catch up so will ask her then!!! Thanks for helping me make my decision

I was only going to have my two daughters. but after listening to my angsting oh just went and asked my friends for me .... only 60 guests and six bridesmaid. i think at least it's a good guest to delegate 'host' ratio !

I went from 4 to 11.......long story ......:-)

Just wanted to update this post to let you all know I met up with my potential additional BM and asked her face to face, admitted I was an idiot and was more caring about numbers etc but when it actually came down to it, I didn't care about the BM/guest ratio I just wanted her as a BM. She was over the moon, I now have three bridesmaids, two flower girls and a paige boy and couldn't be happier. I know it was the right thing to do and feel much better about it and very excited about having all three of my bridesmaids.

Thanks for all your advice and own experiences - it all really helped me work out what to do!

Aww, glad it worked out well

Glad to hear all ok DCM!