Would you be annoyed by this or just ignore it?

But would you want to go if you're not really that close anymore?

Also, with regard to the wedding invites. I don't think it was unreasonable of you to just invite them to the evening. You don't have to invite someone just because they invited you to theirs. Especially if it was a few years ago and you've lost touch.

I would go to the christening and take a small present. I would find time to make a point to B to say how sorry you were that he and V were unable to make it to your wedding, and maybe if they had something else on, you should have given them more notice. Put them on a little guilt trip but nothing obvious, and be the better person for not declining their invitation.

Oooo... Good question!

Do you know what, I wouldn't go.

I think people should be honoured to be invited to any part of a Wedding. It's the most important day in a person's life and you've asked them to be part of it! Makes me sound b!tchy too, but there you go!...

I wouldn't go to the christening or even bother responding for that matter. Play them at their own game!

PLUS

Use the money you would have spent on petrol to buy yourselves a slap up meal, ha ha.

What RB said.

It's a bit odd your being invited to the christening considering you haven't heard from them since the RSVP's.

If you are not too bothered about the friendship send an RSVP saying "Sorry we can't make it, we are away that weekend" then update you status that day saying "gone to Sainsbury's rubbish on tv what a boring day"

Or you can go to the christening and rise above it. She obviously has a problem with evening invites and made it clear so she isn't a hypocrite.

I'd buy a card, and a small gift and send it along with a regret saying - Sorry we cant make it (but wouldn't give any explanation as to why as frankly it really doesn't matter why you cant make it lol) - its a compromise you're not going but you aren't ignoring the invitation

Lifes too short to bother with people like this in my opinion. I'd just say sorry can't make it but thanks, then delete them off facebook a few days later and be done with it!

Take the moral high ground.

If you don't want to go, don't. Send a card, and a token gift (if appropriate) to say you're sorry you'll be unable to make it as you already have plans but you hope the Christening goes well. You don't need to offer up an alternative explanation.

On the day itself, drop them a text or short FB message to say you hope it goes well. Don't mention you're at Tescos or anything similar.

You look like an all round, good egg and you don't have to make the effort to go. Voila.

I think that whilst i can understand your OH saying to rise above it, i personally couldn't and it would drive me mad. But, i do think that you need to find a way of dealing with what happened and then let go. (If you know what i mean!)

As far as the christening invite goes - forget your wedding reception issue, would you have gone or go because they are friends, and therefore you would like to attend and support them? Do you feel they would do the same in return? Do you feel that the friendship with these people is something that will be there for years to come (no matter how little or much you are involved in each others day to day lives)?

It sounds to me like whilst you're not ready to cut all ties, that the friendship has maybe run it's course and that over time its just going to become more distant. I think it's nice of them to include you in the invitation though.

Right, if it were me - i'd consider doing one of 3 things. I'd either feel very fed up with them and decline their invitation and basically downscale any contact with them to christmas cards only or just cut my loses altogether, OR i'd accept the invitation, attend, say nothing re wedding reception and then try to have more contact with them on the pretense of we don't see enough of each other (see what happens, at least you've made the effort), OR i'd accept the invitation, attend, ask them in front of family about their weekend away and how sad it was that they were unable to attend due to them making other plans. The only thing with the last one is that, as you've already explained, they did forwarn you that they wouldn't accept an evening invitation - and they did do what they said they would. Which is where i think you probably need to let go of things - it's not a personal dig at you, it's their hang up. Unfortunately, weddings do bring out all kinds of strange requests or behaviours and at least you knew they wouldn't be attending. We had family who said they were coming and didn't !! I contacted them 2 weeks after asking if things were ok and that people were worried something had happened to them. Response was that they were embarrassed to admit they couldn't afford to come, but let me pay for food for them anyway !! Am thinking of not sending an xmas card this year, but feel that may be me being childish !!!!

Ha! Nope. Being a good egg is an important trait in life.

No I wouldn't go, but I can really hold a grudge haha

I have a "friend" who I invited to my 21st with a plus one (I didnt know his g/f and he knew everyone else in my group of friends). He said he was coming and then on the night didn't show up blaming his g/f's cramp...I was livid, and wound him up a fair bit about it.

Until our engagement party, I sent the invite to him with a plus one (a new g/f I hadn't met). He was again supposed to be coming with another couple I knew, I realised he wasn't there and asked them where he was....Oh you know J, always late, likes to make an entrance - he didn't come again. I haven't really been civil since and he is NOT invited to our wedding!!!

I dont think there is anything ruder than saying yes and then not showing up. I would RSVP that no I couldn't make it to the christening but I wouldn't send a gift either, unless you wanted to guilt trip them a bit haha, but thats just me being a ***!! xx

Honestly? I wouldn't bother with people playing games like that. I wouldn't want to associate with them if that's how they would treat me. And you dont sound close, so I'd ditch the christening and stick with your real friends

I think its the wifes problem,

I'd be raging but I'd still rise above it and go to christening.

His wife (V) may have declined also becaused she could've been really embarrassed after saying what she said to you about evening invites and then being given one by you.

WWID...... just ignore them

If you dont speak to them that often any more - they didnt want to be a part of your big day so why should you want them in your life?

I couldn't agree with this more.

A friend of mine got married recently. (Well, I say friend...) I was absolutely thrilled that we were invited to the whole thing because my sister was bridesmaid so I wanted to see her in all her finery.

Well, OH & I had our engagement party last weekend and she couldn't come "because he was working". Buuut, she promised to come and see me in my play. My play has been and gone and she didn't come to watch. That's not a friend worthy of watching me get married, even if I did go to hers. OH's friend came all the way from Brighton to attend last weekend. I'm giving my 2 spaces to him and his wife instead. They're more of a friend to me than she is.

Anyway, my point is this. If you don't see them as friends enough, you shouldn't go.