Would you emigrate and re-home your pets?

it isnt the same - but if people viewed it in the same way as the responsibility as having children from the start it would be 'a good thing' because the pet as a disposable distraction is so sad

although - unfortunately there are a lot of children whose production is not as carefully considered as some of the pet aquiring on here which makes me much more sad

I too wouldnt be able to make the decision so we would have to have both the mother and cat in the house and as we have the type of house that could accomodate this we would have the choice of keeping both. Maybe noone could accomdate both too? We dont know her living arrangements!

But someone is emigrating and has made the (most likely difficult) decision to rehome her cats. Why on earth is there such viitriol towards her? No one knows the full circumstances or how this person is feeling. It's not as if she's dumping the cats, she's trying a different avenue to get them rehomed. How irresponsible.

Obviously this lady couldn't but IF i was in that situation I would make alerations to my house so that the can had area to go in which would not come in contact with my mum as much as possible.

so not sheesh at all

Janey H well said the number of people who have kids without thinking about the responsibility is scary too

So no one wants the cats then?? ?

Seriously, I have two dogs that I love with all my heart; they were both rescued, both were ill-treated and days from death when they were rescued. I would do anything in my power to keep them, but if circumstances changed and I did not believe that I could continue to give them the quality of life that they deserve I would consider rehoming them to someone who could do that.

I appreciate the OP was only trying to help her friend; the phrase 'don't shoot the messenger' comes to mind.

As for advertising them on the Internet, I found both my hounds through the Internet.

I hope that the cats get the home they deserve, wherever that may be.

So you'd be happy to keep the cat shut away in part of the house where your very ill mother couldn't see it? What about if it was a lovely day and your Mum was in the garden? Keep the cat shut in? Would keeping your cat really be more important than the mental wellbeing of your own mother? I adore my cat, but if I had to have my mum come and live with me and it meant rehoming, I would. It wouldn't be easy at all, but my Mum would have to come first. I'm stunned that anyone would feel differently tbh.

I'm with Winkle on this.

I've always had rescue cats, the one I have now is three and she's had two previous homes and a spell in a cattery. At the moment she's beside me with a bellyful of fish, legs waving in the air purring like an engine. I doubt very much she's thinking about her previous owners and how they gave her up for 'adoption', even if she could remember, which I doubt. I believe she is far happier here than her previous homes and I think they were doing the responsible thing for her to have a happy life.

I don't have children but I can't equate having a pet with having a child.

We would have to work around it. I'll let you know the finer details if it ever happens.

My cats are important to me and it would break my heart to rehome them. What can I say? I'm a bad person? Ok...well I'm a bad person then.

Did I call you a bad person? I just stated that I was stunned that anyone wouldn't put the needs of family first. <shrug>

Oh - and don't worry about the finer details, thanks all the same.

I would make one entrance and area for cat - the other for mum.

presumable mum is not going to be alone in the garden so cat could be kept away relatively easily

Incidently i'm not being horrible about the ops friend - it's just not something I would do myself.

I am with Winkle too.

In fact I am rehoming my cat. She has turned vicious against me, I can't allow her to harm my children which if her mood continued would be the next target. Although she has been better after a change of food I don't trust her and I get very stressed when the girls are near her. The girls are 2 and 11 months and although they have been taught to be gentle with her I cannot expect miracles from them. I feel crap for having to rehome her and that I have let her down but my options are limited really.

Hhmmm. i think on this one i'm with wonks too. i know i got IYHKYWUed on the husky thread by wisemonkey when i said puppies could be as much as a responsibilty as children, but that was with a very young dog. in this instance its two older cats who would adjust, and would it not be crueller to schlep them halfway around the world anyway?

I don't have a problem with rehoming and in some circumstances e.g. puss or lady with dementia it can't b avoided but i would really struggle.

couldn't change my life for the better to my animals detriment

I do have a problem with my keyboard tho so will sat good night and I really do hope the lady finds a home for her cats before she goes

Don't feel rubbis. You're doing the right thing. I'm sure your cat will find another loving home very fast.

No one can expect someone to keep an animal that may flip and harm a child. Although i'm sure some would expect you to rehome the children instead to keep the cat happy ?

Im sure it must be a very difficult decision to make for the person going abroad, but unless we know the full stroy we can't really judge.

My SIL is a serial pet owner, who gets dogs and then within 2 years gives them up for various reason, often it is things that are easily predictable, like getting a Rotweiller whilst TTC, and living in a small house. Why would you do that ?

I know some people treat pets as disposble items but I think this owner shiould be given the beneift of the doubt given the limited information we have.

My lovely friend just paid £3K plus quarantine costs to ship her six cats to Oz. They flew in the hold though - hmmmm, do you think I could do the same with my children?

If I ever moved back to the UK (not out of the question), I could never, ever, conceive the idea of leaving my dog behind. However, I think I'd be almost as traumatised at the thought of her traveling in the hold. Can you buy the seat next to you if your dog fits in a carrier? I'd shell out for that in a heartbeat.

Whilst i agree taking on any animal is a big committment it simply isn't possible to know how circumstances might change - we took 2 giant black long haired cats on a year ago - they are 14ish and the person we took them on from had got them from cats home when he was a child - since then his parents have split up, dad got re married and had another baby which is allegic to cats and he is off to join the RAF - he could surely not have predicted that when he got them as a child. anyway we (well I - H isn't so keen) love them to bits depsite the contant shedding of hair everywhere but I can understand how things change. hopefully they will live out there years lying around, getting grooomed and fed - its a cats life hey!

Well, I wasn't necessarily expecting to find the perfect home with this post, but I certainly wasn't expecting this!

I know the situation and she has not made the decision without a lot of heartache. I think I was hoping someone on here would have a positive suggestion that my friend could look into - there is no way she would just hand them over to some unknown person replying to a post on the internet without checking them out first. She doesn't know I posted this on here and hopefully she won't see this post!

Not on international flights.

On US domestic flights small (very small) dogs can go in a carrier as long as it will fit under the seat - you don't need to buy the seat next to you.

We are likely to be spending 2 years in NZ in a few years time. We have 3 cats and intend on having a dog by then... but got them on the joint understanding that they would come out with us or we wouldnt go. Yes - means a couple of extra thousand but I couldnt have taken on the responsibility of being a pet owner knowing that was likely to be our plan.

(Hate the idea of them going in the hold though...)

I am beyond angry at some of the supercilious attitudes on here - the fact of the matter is that you DON'T know how your life might change over time and neither do you know the circumstances here, but seem perfectly happy to insist that there's NOTHING that excuses 'giving up' your pet. Well here's one that happened to MY family and I defy anyone to respond with "well they could have found a way to keep it". Really just try me.

One of my mum's friends was married to a guy who was a caretaker at a private school. He started exhibiting signs of manic depression after his second child was born. This carried on to the extent that he had two affairs and was putting his family through hell. His wife battled on for five years with things to try and make a stable and normal life with her family and he for his part was seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication. But five years ago he tried to commit suicide, in fact he did it five times... and after the fifth occasion his wife felt she had no option to leave. She had tried her hardest but one child had become bulemic and the other was wetting the bed at the age of eleven. The whole family were dreadfully affected by the whole situation. He moved in with a girlfriend and shortly after successfully committed suicide on his sixth attempt. It was dreadful for everyone concerned, their little family was torn apart by it all. The also lost their home as it was part of his job, although the school let them stay on as long as they could, eventually they had to apply to the council for a home (the mother had been working but had recently been made redundant). The council put them in a hotel, which wouldn't allow pets and they had a cat - Felix. My mum took Felix in for them whilst the situation was getting sorted out. They were in the hotel for a year and nothing seemed to be working for them, the mother had found a new job but the ends weren't meeting very well and her children were still hugely unhappy having lost their father and their home. Eighteen months down the line they were thrown a lifeline - the mother's brother had sold his business in Canada and come into a little money, he'd bought a new property by a lake that came with a patch of land that he was planning to build on - he offered his sister and her kids the patch of land, with the promise he would build them their own little place. My mum's friend worried about it for weeks, not wanting to pass up the opportunity but also not wanting to move the kids and leave the UK - in the end they decided to go and starting making arrangements. A month before they were due to leave, the mother died of undetected cancer. So her brother started motions to adopt her children, who then left for Canada anyway, although a few weeks after they intended. He called my Mum and asked if she would keep hold of Felix, who was happy and settled and living with my Mum and her brood, my Mum was more than happy. And Felix is a happy little cat to this day.

I'm sure I will get responses to this along the lines of "Well they could have taken him with them" - yes they could have, but can you really criticise the brother for the decision that he took? You may think this is an extreme case but it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen and the insinuation that ALL people who rehome cats are the devil incarnate is not only unfair, it's downright insensitive, arrogant and unfeeling. Anyone who could think to chastise this family for their choice in extremely hard circumstances is frankly cold-hearted. And I don't care if that's an outrageous assertion... I've heard plenty on this thread tonight already.

Has your cat been checked by a vet Puss? They can be quite temperamental and sometimes get nasty if something is giving them pain or if they are not well. Where I work, occasionally we get pets with 'behavioural problems' when it is sometimes an underlying physical one.

If you had the cat before you had the children then surely you should be rehoming the children, after all the cat was there first?

We had to rehome our cat for the same reason, the cat ended up in a better environment as we had to keep it separate from our daughter so it was being constantly locked out of rooms. I had my daughter with me 24 hours a day so the cat got no attention.

All the people who consider the pet the same as the child does that mean you take the pet on all your holidays/shopping etc and while you are at work or a night out you get a petsitter or put them in kennels/cattery?

Bugger. Thanks anyway!

Nick, not that I really know you, but from your posts, I sooo didnt picture you to be a cat owner!

Anyway, without entering into the pets are just as much repsonsibilty as kids debate, i just wanna say this.

I have a cat. I really love him, in a sense he is like my baby.

I wouldnt give him away, just because of a lifestyle choice. Only circumstance I could give him away, is if i became ill and couldnt look after him properly.

Otherwise, i adapt my life around him. Some people may not agree, but that is my choice to make.

For example, we would like to go a large family holiday to the US. However, i will not put my cat in a cattery. Therefore we, at the moment, will not be going on this holiday. In a sense, this sucks, but i knew when i got him, that i was responsible for him, so its a choice ive made.

So in amongst all the heartache of her mum's condition, still looking after her family, working part time, getting her mum's affairs in order and selling her mum's house, my friend should have the time to make alterations to HER house so she can keep cats? There are limits to what people can do you know.

My friend is in absolute pieces over losing her cats, but has simply had to put her mother first. In answer to your other point, it is early onset dementia - they have moved the mum whilst she still has more sentient than not time so she can adjust to the change and knows where she is going so its perfectly feasible that mum will be at home and in the garden alone.

Would you really put the mental well-being of your elderly, ill mother over keeping cats? FWIW she has ensured they have a good home and is in touch with the new owners.

Perhaps people shouldn't get pets in the first place, if they're not prepared to work through potential problems or make sacrifices in the future? That's taking responsibility. Clearly if you're not prepared to do that then, yes finding a better home for the pet is the preferred option, however as so many people dump at the first sign of trouble finding a better home for your pet is harder than ever. 10 000 dogs a year put to sleep on average in this country. Cats also destroyed in their 1000s and rabbits rapidly catching up.

As for holidays / life choices then absolutely my animals are considered in the same way that I'd consider children if I had them. So, we have one holiday a year with the dog, one without and the holiday without the dog her dog walker moves in to the house to look after her and the cats. The dog comes to the pub, for days out, on weekends away etc. We limit nights out during the week so that she doesn't have more than 4 hours a day at home alone. And, as I said before, any life-changing opportunities would be considered only with the animals interests too. So, we won't be moving to the States, for example, while the cats are still alive and if we do go we won't be going to places that wouldn't give the dog the same quality of life - much as parents, I assume, consider schooling / social environment etc for their children.

You know, there's nothing like saying "I would never" to challenge life to bring up a situation that you'll have no choice in the matter...

SLD, that's dreadfully sad.

Hecate, of course your friend should put your mother's welfare before her cat's.

It must be wonderful to live a life where you have the money/resources/housing that you can ALWAYS find an answer to keeping a pet.

Blimey, how smug are you sounding. It must be wonderful to be able to have children too - perhaps if I had them I'd understand how much much more important human life is than an animal's life. And that people must do what they want in order to satisfy their own whims and desires and hang anything that gets in their way?

The extreme examples on this thread are not the usual reasons for giving up animals - they are extremes, and yes, dreadfully sad ones. However that doesn't take away the fact that pets are a responsiblity and if more people took that responsibility seriously and accepted that there may be some sacrifices along the way, we wouldn't have the crisis in rescue and 1000s of pets given up each year.

See Boop I agree with pretty much everything you say there. There are far, far too many abandoned animals in the world. My sister currently has two rescue dogs but has in the past had 21 rescue rats and a rescue rabbit!

I think my point is that sometimes life throws at us situations where there simply aren't the choices available, which some people on this thread seem unwilling to recognise

Spot on - this is my point exactly, it doesn't matter how unusual or rare they are, the fact remains that they occur.