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A
Beginner March 2025 North London

Would you go with this venue?

Alana, 25 of February of 2024 at 11:22 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 4
Hi gals, I am totally unsure of what to do here and would love an outsider's opinion.


My partner and I have stumbled across a unicorn venue in a PERFECT location (both in terms of distance from our house and the nearest city/airport, as well as it being very close to local amenities for hair/flowers/catering). The venue is a historical building with a mix of original features and tasteful modern renovations and upgrades, with a ton of photo opportunities inside and out. They have only recently begun doing weddings and, as a result, have a very good introductory price. To put it in comparison: our current second choice of venue is further out of the city (and thus more difficult for accommodation and transport for us and for our guests) and has a bunch of extra surcharges and fees, making it hundreds of not thousands of pounds more expensive for a lot less!
Here's the catch: this is a venue with a very grisly past. I suspect the price is so good because a number of potential brides and grooms are put off by the "vibes" and history. I know a lot of locals find it quite spooky to drive past the building and are shocked to see it has now been turned into a luxury event space. My partner and I like it, though we are not planning on leaning heavily into the dark atmosphere given we're there to celebrate love. My MIL and FIL think it's a fun and unusual venue (we're all true crime nuts), though they are generally supportive of us in general and I don't think they would say anything if they felt it was a bad idea. Conversely, my mum is horrified we are considering it and is unwilling to even look at photos. She does not live close by and would not be able to visit the venue until after we commit to a date and pay the deposit, at which point it would be too late... I would love my mum's approval and I understand we can't always see eye to eye on everything. But I can't help but wonder if she's right to be put off by this given the ethics and feng shui of getting married where truly terrible things have happened.
Would you go ahead with a wedding in this location? Should I be worried my guests wouldn't attend if they were scared my wedding is going to be crashed by a bunch of ghosts? Am I in the wrong to consider price over ethics? Please help!

4 replies

Latest activity by Ivana, 4 of March of 2024 at 18:45
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    That is a tricky one. I'm not sure it's a case of price v ethics unless the venue is actually seeking to make money out of the venue's notoriety, and it sounds from your comment about low prices, as if the notoriety is actually a hindrance. What is more of an issue is whether the reduced cost is worth upsetting guests - or potentially having them decline coming.

    It's difficult to say how many people would be put off without knowing the venue/history, but if your mother is so upset that she's unwilling even to look at pictures of the venue, I'd look elsewhere (unless she's the drama queen type who is going to make a fuss about everything). You really don't want your mother feeling anxious and upset on your wedding day, and if the mere idea of the venue is creating this reaction, I doubt the look of the venue, however beautiful, is going to win her over.

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  • J
    Savvy April 2024 West London
    Joanna ·
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    Hi. I'm a celebrant and have done weddings in many places. If it has a gruesome past then people may respond differently to it as you are finding. Ghosts don't tend to come to weddings so you will be ok on that front. Keep looking. You will know if it's right for you after you see others.
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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    I doubt many people would be put off attending a wedding because of ghosts. I guess the problem is more likely to be that if people have died horribly at this venue in the past, some guests may find it difficult to attend a wedding in a place where people suffered terribly. It's why houses where serial killers have murdered so often get pulled down.

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  • Ivana
    Dedicated August 2024 East London
    Ivana ·
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    If it's bothering you enough to wonder about it and assume people would be hesitant coming then maybe that's your sign not to go ahead with it. If you think it will be fine then book it, If you and your partner love the venue then that's all that matters. It is a very tricky situation as everyone has a different preference so you can't make everyone happy, if you do end up booking you will have people that wouldn't want to come, but if the people coming are out of town and they know nothing about the venue and if it truly looks great and is not spooky they won't be that bothered. If you truly think that more than half of your guests won't come because of the venue then definitely don't book it.

    Speak to the venue also before you decide, express your concerns, enquire how many weddings they have had booked, or events., they are trying to change the reputation of the venue, give them the benefit of the doubt.

    However, I would say, for us we went ahead and booked a venue that we liked and my mom wasn't very supportive of it (she thought it was a waste of money despite it being cheaper), the area also is not very great but it was the cheapest we found. So we went ahead and booked it, will think about the rest later on. So yeah, that's all I can say on it.

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