WWYD re bridesmaid doubts

Thats a difficult one - not sure what id do - I found it really hard but I did wait a while before asking bmaids to make sure I did the right thing - I was actually im a similar situation to you with a friend and arranged to meet her on several occasions and she kept cancelling - i guess she didnt know I wanted to ask her to be bmaid - I didnt in the end and It was the right thing to do !

I have to say its pretty harsh to unask her to be bmaid and may mean that you will both fall out big time - so be prepared for that if you unask her.

I would suggest you talk to her 1st and explain that you feel shes been too busy for you - she prob hasnt realised as she sounds like shes busy and has new exciting things to do also remember that other people wont ever be as interested in your wedding as you and h2b are !!

HTH hely x

There was obviously a reason that you asked her in the first place so you must have been good friends then.

Personally I would give her the benefit of the doubt, she is in a new relationship and its obviously harder for her to find time to see you then. Perhaps you can try to arrange a time to see her and talk to her about it - let her know that you miss her and would like to see her more. Perhaps even mention how hard it has been to meet up in the last few months and ask her if she thinks she will have time for all the BM dress choosing/fittings and have time for any other things you were planning to ask for her help with?

You have a bit of time at least to talk to her about it rather than just 'sacking' her without giving her a chance.

?i wont be sacking her just yet.

I suppose i am just a bit annoyed/upset that its so god dam difficult to meet up with her!!

I dont even care if she isnt one bit interested in the wedding, to be honest i am only interested in my own so i wouldnt expect her to get excited about the dress, invitation, cakes etc.

I just want to meet up in general,,, dam boyfriend steeling her!! hahahaha!

I think i am just going to ring her and tell her how rubbish she is and get her to pick and date and time to meet and hope that she actually makes it!! Surely its not to hard to spare an hour away from a new boyfiend,,,,,, dam honeymoon period!!

I've got 3 bridesmaids, my niece who is 3 who loves the idea that she is going to be a princess (she was with me when i chose my dress.. im thinking of making her CBM!), my uni housemate who i see 24/7! And my other one, i went to school with her, she lives 300miles away when we're at uni, and a 100 when we're not! I see her prob twice a year when i visit my parents. But we do chat on phone msn atleast every week. Just because i dont see her much doesnt make her want to be my bridesmaid less!

Can i have a 4 year old as my CBM?? hmmm.. otherewise i'm not having one! x

?ha ha why the hell not!

Im not having a CBM either - just 2 BM's......... eek do you have to have a CBM??

Ahhh shoegal I can relate to where you are I am in a simialr position but havent spoke to my friend/ future bridesmaid since jan this year and even then I had to leave a large amount of MSN mesages and i just wanted to meet for coffee which never happened.

I think if your friend is still around and ringing you then just tell her you miss her and arrange a coffee date tell her you want o hear about the man etc in her life if that doesn't lure her away for an evening then tell her how let down you are feeling, deafinatley don't think you need to worry about the bridesmaid issue yet, as you quiet rightly say she is in the honeymooon period.

ooo if all else fails I will volunteer to be a bridesmaid I realised today I will probably make it to being a bride with out ever being a bridesmaid (I am quiet sad about this!!).

Anyway I hope this all turns out well for you, letus know how it goes

x

thanks m'dear!!

I am the same, never been a BM but i am actually quite releved about this!!?

I would rather be a bridesmaid no outfit hassel for a start, someone else would be choosing for me.

hope all goes well with the friend

x

There is a reason you asked her in the 1st place, and just because you have lost the closeness recently with her doesnt mean she wouldnt be a good bridesmaid. my best friend (and BM) is 500 miles away, we go for weeks without talking but when we do its like we have never been apart.

I think ur BF may be loved up with this new guy at the moment, and it will fade soon, but why not ask them both out, like a double date? that way she can spend time with both of you.

hope this helps.....CALL HER!!

I had a girl just like that, two in fact.

The first girl I never saw her anyway, only on special occasions but in the end she moaned too much and we had to have the difficult conversation about her being a bridesmaid, anyway, she voted with her feet in the end and walked away. We sent her an invite to the wedding but she didn't come...

The other was just like that, we saw each other loads but as it got closer to the wedding things got weird between us, she wasn't interested in talking about our wedding, me or anything in my life. Again, in the end she voted with her feet too and chose not to come to the wedding the day before.

The best thing I could have done was to talk to them when things first changed, and been honest to say you need somebody who can be there for you, you understand it's not because she's not interested, it's because her life has changed and you're incredibly happy for her but you also have to think about your wedding and who could be there for you should you need help.

You'll probably find that she's not even realised she's doing it.

Talk to her.

Claire x