Your worst drunken antics

I'm sure I've told it before on the confessions thread, but it consisted of throwing up violently in the club loos. In the sinks. Every single one of them. And also farting at the same time. Lots. In front of many women.

I snogged a client. I used to work on reception for a service office group and i really fancied one of the blokes who worked upstairs. I was 18, he was about 36. And I later found out, engaged.

Snogged him whilst drunk, not one of my finer moments.

I do my very best not to get too drunk at work things, I cant be trusted to behave! I end up saying things I shouldnt, and spreading gossip! And then forgetting about it completely. Pretty sure I have offended plenty of people!!

Oh another one!! I was REALLY drunk one new years eve. My mums boyfriend picked me up in his fancy saab. I wet my self all over his leather seats. On purpose.

Never liked him....

Needing the loo in a nightclub, deciding which was more important- toilet or vomming. Decided to sit on the toilet and proceeded to vom either side of me. Getting off the loo then vomming some more in the sinks.

I have been sick inside pubs, outside pubs, inside taxis, into my handbag, down into my coat sleeve (anything to avoid a taxi fine). I have fallen asleep in pub toilets and on pub sofas. I have argued and badgered people, I have kissed (in a friendly way!) and cuddled people. I have flashed bras. I have fallen onto floors, into tables, down steps. I have been fireman lifted away from bouncers and frog marched out of clubs. I have cried in public.

I am soooo rough.

You dirty dog ?

At uni in a pub one tuesday evening i was hamemred (had met my flatmates rugby playing boyfriedns mates for the first time so was trying to keep up wth their drinking) I interupted a couples date as they had a spiro dragon toy, obvioulsy won from the fair outside. i asked if i could have it, they laughed and said no, i was hammed so literally wrestled the guy for it...ripped the head off spiro....and ran off hahaha

still have the head today as war memento?

This is gross and very cringy......

Went back to friends house to stay the night after a night out (she lived with her parents at the time). To cut a long story short during the night I ended up trying to get into bed with her dad, and then later on I couldnt find the loo so just peed on the carpet in the hallway. Luckily her parents are lovely and they havent held it against me, they do however bring it up every time I see them and its now 12 years later!

Flow, Rod and Porkchop, you have totally made my day. Somehow, going to work doesn't seem half as bad now ?

Footlong, you sound exactly like me...minus the vomming!

Porkchop, that's hilarious.

Well, in addition to my streaking confession on the other thread there's also getting arrested at 14 for being drunk and incapable. I've told this story before but, after I decided it would be wise to drink half a litre of vodka to myself, a couple of friends and I were arrested after being spotted on Gateshead Metro Station CCTV cameras.

I was put in a cell for three hours and cried out for my mother the whole time. According to the custody sergeant, all the drunk old men started shouting for their mam too. P1ss taking w*ankers. I also wet myself.

I'm quite a 'good' drunk in respect to saying things I shouldn't or offending people. What I'm not good at is staying on my feet! I have fallen down every flight of pub/club stairs in my home town, and in many international destinations! Crying, throwing up and wetting myself then added into that mix!

I once decked it on holiday whilst wearing white linen trousers. They were ripped, soaked in blood and black pub floor ming. I just carried on regardless for the rest of the night.... that was probably my most unfortunate falling over moment.

Other than that when I was 16ish we had a New Year party at my mum's house. I really fancied one of the boys who was there (my mum knew this). Later in the night my mum caught me snogging 'him'. Later she said 'You do know that was ...... not ......, you got the wrong brother!

I flashed a policeman.

My friend dared me to flash the next person that walked past us, so i did. Not only was it a policeman, it was her Dad. All of us were mortified.

Oh ladies, some of these stories are brilliant!! I feel rather tame in comparison now.

When I was 17 I went to a NYE party and got so drunk on Skittle vodka. I threw up a lot (mainly in the loo but I'm afraid a bit inside the house too...) and ended up in A&E. Still feel bad about that. When I went off in the ambulance I left my bag and everything at the host's house and had to slink back for it in the morning. Never been so embarrassed. I actually met my H that night but neither of us have ANY memory of it, the only reason we know is that there was a photo of the two of us talking!!

At a student club in London, one of my friends introduced me to "quadruple gin and tonic in a pint glass please". Later on I threw up into the pint glass and my friend had to carry it down the street to throw it away. Then I proceeded to throw up all the way home. I hadn't actually even drunk that much!

The night before my last Finals exam I went to the student union awards night. There was free wine. It didn't end well for me and the friend I took with me had to practically carry me over Waterloo Bridge and put me on a train back home. I had to get up early the next morning with a hangover and take the exam... in which I somehow scraped a First. All's well that ends well?!!

My brother played rugby at school and has told me initiation stories involving drinking so much you puke into a glass and then having to drink that back up.

? ATB, snogging the wrong brother. Waaaah!!!

Icing on the cake is your mum informing you of your mistake!!

Lots of vomiting stories including a 5 fingered spary up a friends wall all having my mum hold my hair back after far too much tequila at my SiL's 40th! also afterwork drinks going home with collegues I shouldnt have!!

most recent was at my works do on friday, I had double panted to hold my tights up and the outer pair were my Wonderwoman pants and i decided to show a few people the wonder woman logo printed across my bum!

after chatting to collegues this morning, turns out I flashed more people than I realised!

This thread is hillarious!

I once was sick on a train home- all over the seat and floor. I then decided it would be a good idea to get off at the next stop to get some fresh air. The next stop was some random middle-of-nowhere stop so I lay on the platform in the dark for 2 hours (and was sick on the platform). Then got on the next train, and was promptly sick all over the seat on that one too. Not my finest moment..... this was after a first date with someone too- funnily enough, I never saw him again!

Oh yes, not forgetting my spewing all down myself at work the morning after a work night out.

Oh yes, not forgetting my spewing all down myself at work the morning after a work night out.

• Throwing up on my husbands shoes
• Throwing up outside the back door x about 5. Including unchewed noodles
• Trying to get thrown out of a pub because I was bored
• Stealing wine off peoples tables at a work do
• Telling more senior people off for not drinking jager bombs
• Getting the bar staff to tell my boss they are out of cava and that they only had moet left. (totally worked)
• Convincing staff in the new bar in town that I owned a hen party business and needed discounts (didn't totally work but I did get business cards for the right peole)

And this is just in the last couple of months. ?

Went to a bar and managed to get them to give me two bottle of sambuca for free and a round of shots!

that desparate for the loo ran in pulled underwear down, and wee'd to find out the toilet seat was down so peed everywhere! I got off, dried the lid a little, and just left it!

at a house party I was drinking vodka out of the bottle (classy I know) broke a friends front tooth as knocked into him when he was drinking out of a bottle at the time, then I broke the telephone, and then fell over a lawnmower that was under a table in the neighbours garden that I had scaled a 6ft fence to get into!

Mine is long, but pretty awful...

My birthday, 2 weeks after meeting my now H, was probably the worst I'd ever been. We had only been together 2 weeks and this was only about the 3rd time we'd met up, since he was in the army. We went out with a load of my friends for my brithday and were staying at my friend's boyfriends house, I was so excited I could spend the whole night with H and was planning crazy drunken sex all night.

Well... it started with a meal at TGIs, where I think I had one too many cocktails. We then hit the town, and when we entered the club I got a free bottle of wine for it being my birthday, I asked for Rose and was so drunk didn't realise they handed me a bottle of red (which I had never drunk before) - I also didn't want to share this and decided to down the entire bottle. I then got into a fight with the barman who said if I insisted on swigging from the bottle and not a glass, I would be thrown out - H dragged me away and took the (now empty) bottle of wine off me, apologising deeply to the barman. He then took me out for some fresh air, I proceeded to throw up all over the place (with my friends boyfriend going "Nat there's that cheesy mash you had earlier!" - cue more throwing up) and got kicked out for being so drunk.

H, my friend and her boyfriend managed to somehow convince a taxi driver that I wasn't totally w*nkered and got me home (by the way, this was only 10.45pm and I hadn't actually met up with any of the friends that were meeting us there yet!) and got me home.

I then passed out on the toilet seat, H had to pull of my fake eyelashes for me and take out my hair extensions. When he couldn't wake me from my drunken state, passed out with my head in the loo, he had to throw cold water over me to wake me up - at which point (I am told) I screamed at him "fvck off and die! No don't I love you so much..." and "why would you do that to someone you love?!?!" (remember we had only been together 2 weeks - we hadn't even said the L word yet!) and he finally managed to get me into bed, when I passed out.

It doesn't end there. I woke up the next day, sat up and looked in the mirror. I have naturally curly hair, and where he had thrown water over me to wake me up, it was now a big curly, Hagrid-like afro around my head. My makeup was smeared everywhere and my eyelashes lay next to the bed. I then woke H up by throwing up into the bin, he then went to empty this and, while he was gone, I threw up out the bedroom window.

The nightmare ended by him having to physically put me in the shower and wash me as I was too hungover and weak to do it myself.

It's safe to say I have never been this drunk since, and I will never touch red wine again.

And for some reason, he still married me! ?

Haha Natalie!

There have literally been far too many to remember.. I am the person in the bar/ nightclub who falls over with no grace what-so-ever and have had endless weekends of bruised/ cut/ shabby knees from falling over. Numerous amount of shoes ruined too!

I also think I have broken a bone in my foot from falling over.. Never got it checked out but have a slight bump at the side of my right foot which wasn't there before! I also puked out of my bedroom window when I lived at my parents. I only found out about it because my mum woke up the next day to find a trail of vomit all down the patio windows. Super gross!

Zipped my head into my handbag and fallen asleep in a pub, been sick in my car whilst driving ( morning after but still very stupid) been sick in people's beds, on carpets, in cars. Slipped in my bathroom and whacked my head on a radiator, gave myself a black eye. Slep with many inappropriate person, been wrestled out of my boyfriends bands gig by a bouncer for being abusive,slept in the hallway of a hotel in faliraki, stark bollock naked and clutching a can of Heineken, stolen various items from pubs/bars etc, broke my knickers and had to spend the night commando.

these are the ones I can recall. I spent the years of 17-26 in a permanent state of pissed-ness.

I've done so many stupid things when drunk. I think I wrote on the confessions thread about the time I was really wasted and tried to visit my bf in student halls, ended up at the wrong flat and trying to break in the door and had to be removed by campus security. They called my parents to come pick me up ?

When I was working in a hostel in NZ all the staff had a mad night out and I fell running across a road and smashed my face off the ground. I scraped half the skin off my face and and knees, how I never broke my cheek bone I have no idea. I sat crying at the side of the road until my OH carried me home. The next morning I was supposed to be working changing bed sheets etc but I was in so much pain/ashamed that my OH did all my work for me on top of his own. I actually stayed in bed the whole day and spent the next two weeks hiding from new guests because my face was such a mess and I didn't want to explain what happened.

Hahahaha!

You win!!

Mini...you're my hero.

Oh how could i forget!! my legendary night on a first date witrh this guy where i got so drunk i was sick under his rug and didnt tell him..just left the next morning with a rug covering shed loads of sick?

?

I have absolutely nothing. I'm so boring! I've only been drunk once!

H on the other hand. His works night out last year was the village along from where we live so we got the train. He said he was only going to have a couple but he mixed them all (he swears his drink was spiked but I'm not convinced) I had to drag him up the road to the train station for him to stand and whine "but WHEN'S THE TRAIN COMING" very loudly in font of a lot of people.

We're only one stop along but he decided to go to the toilet on the train. Considered leaving him there but with about a second to spare he came out and we got off. The walk home is about 10 minutes. Took 45. He wouldn't walk on the cracks on the pavement. I got told off for trying to hold his arm. Got in to the close and he bent down to take his shoes off, I held onto his belt. He shouted at me. I let go. He went head first into the wall.

He spent the rest of the night between in bed crying that "his tummy hurt", throwing up, sleeping naked on the bathroom floor and (the one I bring up most) went and spoke to my mum in his boxers for about 45 minutes just randomly talking. He has no memory of this and it mortifies him EVERY time.