11am vs 4pm Wedding - Please help!

Maybe I should be totally honest and admit that I am an unstoppable binge-drinker and at an 11am wedding I would be on the floor by 4pm. ?

Love it Foo, me too!

My sister got married at 4pm a few weeks ago. Nice chilled morning for her and the rest of the bridal party and plenty long enough for the wedding. No awful long waits around either. I myself got married at 3pm. I just think 11am is very early. What time are you planning on eating? 5ish? Long time to wait for people and they tend to just drink.

I think they're thinking of eating at 2-3pm ish.

I see no problem with an early wedding. I've never been bored at weddings that started earlier. I've been to a couple at started at 4pm and, although I had a brilliant time, I was left wanting 'more'.

Ah! 2-3 for food isn't too bad. I just know if it was any later my family would end up wasted!

Please someone enlighten me - what's 'receiving time'?

Do you mean receiving line? Is that where the bridal party (or at least the couple) stand and every guest literally lines up and files past and you greet and have a little chat with each one? I don't think I'd fancy that either. Too formal. I'd worry my smile would be aching by the 20th guest! :o)

I agree with what someone said earlier (can't remember who, apologies!) that unfortunately, neither is ideal- hence they are the times that have been left.

I also agree with the POV that an 11am start means more of your special day - but as a guest, I would worry about lulls and 'free time'. Whenever I've experienced that kind of free time at a wedding, it's only ended with either a) guests drinking far more than they would have done, and getting a bit outrageous (which, to be fair, I don't mind!) or b) guests falling asleep. My OH fell asleep at one such event just this weekend, much to my horror!

Personally, I'd go for 4pm - I'd rather have a slightly shorter wedding day, but without lulls in activity. I am biased though, as ours is booked for the afternoon!

I think 4pm would be preferable to 11am. 11am would make it a long day and more expensive -it does seem convenient that the wedding planner at the venue is pushing for 11am... Last year l went to a wedding where we were collected from our hotel before noon, it was a lovely wedding and great fun but a very long day.

Sounds good to me, leave them wanting more! Better than them leaving having had enough

Although we got married at 1pm, I was still worried about 'spare' time between the day part ending and the night do. A few suggestions of what worked for us:

- a timteable of the day to everyone. I'd seen this at another wedding and it meant that everyone knew what time parts of the day was happening and when they had time to go off, have time away from wedding

- have things to keep your guests happy. They don't have to be expensive things. We had a big candy buffet/sweet table that was meant to be for evening only but someone took the sheet off it and told everyone to help themselves - so glad they did! It meant the guests were kept busy and weren't as hungry.

- our ushers were on the lookout for anyone who was on their own and made sure they had a drink/someone to chat to.

Forget what we all think, what do you and your partner really want to do? Everyone will fit in with this - got to be what suits you both.

I love that idea of having the ushers check that everyone's got someone to chat to and a drink etc. Not stood feeling like a spare part!

I feel like my biggest problem will be worrying that everyone will have a nice time. I'm doing it already with the planning. Although my oh keeps telling me I just need to stop worrying about that and that everyone will be happy to be a part of the day!

I suppose that's the same with the timings. Just do what suits you and your h2b. But I do think it will be lovely to see/ know that all your friends and family are having a fab time. They will though whatever you decide on.

We just found it worked for us and stopped me worrying. I was really worried about people being left out and our ushers and few family members were great at having a quick check every now and again. I'd been through who was who with the best man so he knew to look out for two couples who are quite quiet and didn't know anyone else. This just made me feel less worried about the day.

My preference would be 4pm (it would be as my own ceremony is 5pm ?

This means I can have a lovely wintry stroll in the morning with OH & dogs, a spot of lunch before heading off to the venue with a couple of hours being pampered by hairdresser and MUA, along with a glass or 2 of champagne ? ..........it also means I only have to feed my guests once lol which means I spend less!

High-five!!!!!

One other consideration with the 11am one is that you should work out what time you/your BMs need to get up in order to be fully beautified, do any final venue decorating and be ready to leave in time. I'm not a morning person, so if I had to get up at 6am on my wedding day I would NOT be a happy bunny!

I think an 11am wedding could work, but that either Kentish Gal or Footlong's alternative itineraries are better than your venue's. If you've already had a 2.5 hour long drinks reception, I don't think you then need a receiving line, as you should already have been able to speak to everyone in that time. I would also put speeches after the meal and move the meal earlier - people will be starving and/or pissed by 3pm otherwise. It would probably be much appreciated if you have some kind of entertainment/activity for the "lulls," or at the very least make sure that there is enough space for everyone to relax and sit down, especially if they need to clear tables for the evening reception.

As a guest, how much I notice the "lulls" very much depends on how many people I know there. If I only know, say, the B&G and my H, then I get bored a lot more quickly than if I'm with loads of friends. And standing around time feels much longer than sitting down time!

My hands up for the 4pm too. I'm a lazy bones and would much prefer a relaxed morning of preparations rather than a 6am start!

i'm sure you'd save pennies on keeping people fed and watered for all that time too!

I would go for 4pm. I recently went to a wedding at 4pm (im guessing yours is a civil ceremony at the hotel???) and because it was all in one place, you save time with travelling. We got there around 3, had a few drinks, went to the ceremony, had canapes and welcome drinks, had a meal and speeches ect, boogied the night away and went home absolutely sloshed at 1am!! It felt like a long day.

1. As a guest i would be mortified at the 11am start as this would mean getting up at 7 to start getting ready (I am massively lazy and in love with my bed more than i am the OH ? )

2. I would be drunk by 3pm so probs wouldnt remember the meal/speeches/first dance/making a fool of myself in the middle of the day and would be off home by 5pm. and tbh im a good drinker so others would probs b home/being sick in the toilet before that.

Hope this helps xxx

We are getting married at half 4! I'm not worried ! It is a weekday so it allows people to work half days etc easier for people to travel from further away and I don't need to worry about being ready on time xx

We were at a wedding at the weekend with an 11am ceremony. It felt like a very long day, we spent an absolute fortune on drinks and I struggled to get ready, go to the hairdressers and get there in time. It wasn't too bad but a few of our friends were very, very drunk by the start of the evening reception as there was a 4 hour gap in the afternoon, which they continued to drink through.

I would be with 4pm

My brother in law to be is getting married at 11am and I'm VERY worried about how exhausted/hungry/drunk/bored I'm going to be.

Personally i'd probably 4pm, we're getting married at 1:30pm and already thinking how guests will be amused lol.
And the thought of an early morning and rushing about to get ready by 11 would scare me, but it's your personal preference so go what you think would be best for you both & your guests. Although what suits you both is probably more important as after all, your day & you're paying

We're having an 11am wedding. We went to a 4pm one that felt very rushed and no one had time to do anything before we were rushed onto something else. Plus the evening buffet went to waste as no one was hungry enough to eat it. We were given the choice of 11am or 4pm, it was a no brainer to go for the 11am.

I just wanted to thank everyone for all your replies. ?

I love this forum!!

I think we have decided to stay at 4. I can most definitely see what about 80% are you guys are saying about 11 being better but we have decided that four will probably be better for us and our family.

Thanks again for your help, i'm sure I'll be back with my next conundrum soon x