a bit of an alternative wedding!

Absolutely do what you want! I've known too many people regret not having the day of their dreams and some even planning it all again a few years later as a blessing to make up for it.

We have both been married before and the first time got dragged into what other people wanted our days to be. This time we are going with what we both want and cannot wait..... I'm wearing purple!

We are doing it our way! i told my mum at 5 years (or maybe younger!) that i wanted a black wedding dress. and i have stuck to it. i would feel so 'un-me' in anything else.

some of our choices have raised eye brows, but i have mainly seen that in people who are older and havent been to a wedding in a while. things have changed so much - venues, food choices and dresses. there is so much fun to be had.

stick to your guns on this one - its you and partners dream day.

I think you should do what you want but you should also keep in mind that as the bride and groom you are hosting your guests. Have you thought about researching caterers that don't serve traditional wedding fare? Hiring a food truck might give the casual atmosphere and non-fussy food you're looking while still being something a bit more special. I've even seen wood-fired pizza trucks where they bring a mobile oven to your venue and cook the pizza, fresh bread and grilled appetizers on site.

The people that are passing comments are probably thinking the worst of your dress as they haven't seen it before. I know it's not quite the same but we had some horrified responses when we said we were getting married in the artic circle but people have come round to the idea when I started to share info. People expect tradition but you will blow them away in the day with your choices. Have you seen the pizza vans etc may work out easier than ordering? My mum was really shocked to see a fish and chip van when we went to a wedding fayre but when they dished it up she was amazed and tried to get me to have one for our UK party haha. There are loads of alternative food choices etc now it's just most people that have attended weddings in the last 10 years would have had a sit down meal. Personally I would love your wedding if I was to attend it. The quirkier the better in my eyes. It's all about being personal to you and I think you should stick to your guns and have what you want

ps have you got a pic of your dress you can flash! I love black wedding dresses!

You're not in the Plymouth area are you?

You absolutely have to do things your way, maybe try and look for the suggestions listed above, pizza van sounds like an amazing idea!

People have certain expectations but there are so many different ideas out there nowadays and you should take advantage of them to have the day you want, you may regret it else!

Thank you for all of the replies :-) not used the forums before haha!

The pizza van sounds really good so thank you for that suggestion. It would still be what we want but also fit in with others expectations. That's a really good compromise :-)

I'm from Stoke-on-trent so we're really limited on finding anything castley but managed get Tutbury in Burton about a half hours drive.

just watched an episode of Don't tell the bride, the wrestling one where they had a gourmet hot dog cart with popcorn which was a brill idea. The pizza thing was just for the evening do, I caved into mothers demands and going for a fancy sit down meal for the ceremony guests.

how do I attach a pic on here?

Thanks :-)

I love your dress! Definitely stick to what makes you feel good, it's your day and you should be happy and comfortable. Good luck with all the planning X

I reckon stop telling people your plans and leave it until a surprise on the day! No one will ever say anything rude on your wedding day so that should knock that one on the head!

I agree with a comment above about remembering you're hosting your guests who will probably have spent a fair bit of money to celebrate with you, so I think you'll need to put on something good food-wise. Also it's quite likely that a lot of stuff going on will pass you by as you'll be in a whirl most of the day, so in reality things like food are to please your guests.

Good luck! The dress is lovely and I think it's weddingy!

Wow your dress is gorgeous! We have very similar taste as mine is very similar but in white lol. You can get ice cream vans for dessert too or crepe ones as a bride on here had ;-) I may gate crash! This forum is fantastic for seeing ideas that do not fit the norm. It's because of here I have a cheese wedding cake but I have seen rice crispy square ones and pork pie ones as well as hot chocolate tables, sweet tables and carts, photo booths, bouncy castles and lawn games etc etc between this and Pinterest it's easy t get carried away!

Hi, I'm another not quite traditional bride eloping in the arctic circle and arriving by reindeer sleigh. I agree with everyone else, do your own thing but remember your guests need feeding too so even if you're not keen make sure they are sorted. I adore your dress and I'm sjure everyone else will too and its probably nothing like they are imaging. Good luck, look forward to seeing more pictures. I tend to see everywhere as possible wedding venues now and there are some lovely ruins around. X

Wow that is some dress, lovely ?

Wow I looooooove that dress!

I would bloody love attending an alternative wedding, so much more interesting (Says me having a ridiculously traditional wedding, ha!! I wimped out!)

Stunning dress! I'd say do what YOU want, you are clearly an individual so why would your family be surprised by your choices. You've still got plenty time to talk them round, or just don't tell them?

That dress is gorgeous! And as a guest I'd love to attend a wedding that's a bit different from what you'd normally expect. Only the other day I read about a bride who also served Dominos for the evening buffet.

I'm learning a vital rule... don't tell anyone anything!! No matter how trivial it may seem...

I was talking to my uncles girlfriend and saying that I still had to finish the suitcase for cards to go in... cue a big pause and 'oh, a suitcase?'... I mentioned the break between the wedding and the breakfast so she could take her dog to kennels during that time... cue another pause 'that's a long break isn't it?'.... er no different to any of the 30 odd weddings I've been to in the last 3 years!

Keep it all to yourself!

I agree. Keep things to yourself. There is always someone who will pull a face or pull your ideas to bits. Even if it doesn't make you second guess yourself it gets REALLY annoying lol.

I don't think I could have worn a black dress, but, my god that is absolutely stunning, when people see that dress they will love it too.

As my friend said to me no-one will say it to the bride & groom at least, not everyone will like the choices and decisions you make (we have a haggis starter, some people won't like it) but it's YOUR day and YOUR choice which is what is important... screw what anyone else thinks. That dress is gorgeous!

I would love pizza.

I also love your dress.

I agree with the others that you should probably keep details close to you until the big day. Everybody has an opinion prior to the day, but on the day, (most) people won't say anything negative - especially to the bride.

WOW!!!

Your dress is stunning.

We have decided to keep our plans close to our chests as we know that everyone and the cat's bleedin' mother will have an opinion as to why we aren't having XYZ (we are having a restaurant meal without an evening do.)

Your wedding plans, including the food, sound fab so just stick to what you both want. ?

Good for you! My h2b is wearing blue jeans (requested by me), a white linen shirt with a grandad collar and a dinner suit jacket - his mum was horrified when we told her! But it's what we wanted :-) He's not a dresser upper and I'd hate for him to feel uncomfortable on the day. My dress is at least off-white, but was £69 in the sale in John Lewis! We're not having a cake as we just don't think we need it and my sister is doing the photos. It's my 2nd time (first for him) and last time I ended up doing what my parents wanted - not this time :-)) Have a fab day - and yes, that dress is amazing!

Oh wow Jayne E, that sounds bloody amazing! X

Still trying to figure out how to use these forums, I thought I was more technologically advanced haha!

Thank you all for the replies I will certainly take on board everything that has been said. I think the best thing we can do is just not reveal any more details to the family and then no one is cruel enough to diss is on the day! Finally managed to find a caterer who is willing to serve our low number for the breakfast, they also do buffets so I might be able haggle abit by using the same for both food options.

Total budget is now arpund the 4300 mark which is scary as hell! Round where we live that is an actual deposit on a house but reading through online wedding mags / blogs, I think ours would deffo come waaay under what is the 'norm'

Good job me and my other half ain't normal haha!

Thank you all again, I've got loads of ideas and tips which may stop me having a little breakdown at the thought of it all :-)

OMG You dress is stunning!!

You should do it however you want! You want pizza...do it! It's not about pleasing everyone else but making sure you and your OH have the most amazing day you guys want!

I know it's hard but ignore people who make the comments. I know my mums one for that and she doesn't realise she's doing it so I gave her jobs away from the main planning to make things easier.

I cant ant wait to hear more about it.

This is great rockabird. its about what you want not what people think constitutes 'a wedding'

We had a pizza van at our wedding an the guests loved it! I know it's not easy but stick to your guns. It's your day you should have it exactly how you want it.

Thanks all for the replies, I feel so much more relaxed about everything now. Got a few appointments with local caterers this week, I have my heart set on pie and peas for the sit down meal. I still love the idea of pizza for the buffet but just need to work out prices, if it's cheaper for a buffet I guess I will have to go with that

:-)

Pretty sure Kate Winslet had sausages and mash for her wedding, if it's good enough for her......

I love your description of your wedding. It's pretty much the opposite if anything I would have wanted for my own wedding, but that doesn't make either of us wrong! I am a firm believer that a wedding should reflect the couple getting married, and I would live to be a guest at your wedding - it sounds unique, fun and reflective of who you are. I say have the wedding you want, if people lack imagination then that's their problem, I"m sure they'll love it on the day - just keep quiet about it till then (I know, not easy when you're excited about your plans but that's where Hitched comes into it's own, I quickly learned what to share IRL and what to come and have an excited squeal on Hitched about!)

Stick to your guns and don't let anyone negativity change your mind, its your big day and if you changed any part of it you would most likely regret it looking back.

If I wasn't having a winter wedding and a winter theme with hot comforting sunday roast type food, I would absolutely go for pizzas! Your big day should reflect you and your partners personality. We are having shots for a toast rather than champagne, we both love a good party and sipping champagne isnt really either of us, we would prefer a round of jager bombs with our wedding breakfast ?

No one remembers weddings for their traditional features as they are exactly that - traditional - and its just the norm to have them, but I'm sure everyone will remember 'the castle ruin wedding with big yummy pizzas and a quirky wedding dress', so GO FOR IT!

xx

We met with a catering company on Thursday and I have to say it was horrendous! They were so stuck up and condescending. When I suggested a pie and peas supper they actually said 'oh that's not classy enough for a wedding'. Er hello, it's stoke on trent not Chelsea!

Got a home appointment tomorrow morning with another one, if this doesn't work out ok then we may have to think about a country pub for the sit down meal. I've emailed all suitable ones in my region with our budget and requirements and tomorrow's appointment is with the last one who replied. Fingers crossed!

Mother, who is stumping up abit of cash, said that there HAS to be be buffet of some sort as a fair few family members are diabetic. I've read plenty of posts about parents demands and blackmail to withold money if they don't get an input and it seems this is happening to me! But I guess there does have to be food at the evening.

Found a dress maker who seems on my level so got high hopes for the alternative wedding dress I have dreamed of. We are doing gig tickets for the evening do, the DJ is a guy who hosts local rock / metal nights who is awesome but also has some 'normal' music in his collection also! I'm thinking of putting a little advisory on the evening invite, like a water shed of say 10pm where the music will be more to me and the fellas taste. Most of our relatives are either quite funky (I'm down with the kids still! ) or elderly and the latter will be leaving around the 9ish mark anyway. Hardly any kids invited other than very close friends / family and there is a separate room that holds the bar in which is perfect for setting up a games table for them.

we have also settled on converse for our wedding shoes.

thank you all so much for every reply to this thread. I've got some great ideas and tips and I'm slowly learning to stick to my guns and not let anyone get in the way. Apart from the mother, she is quite terrifying when in mother of the bride mode haha!