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Red Baroness
Beginner July 2012

Alternative top table plans????

Red Baroness, 28 January, 2011 at 13:15 Posted on Planning 0 33

My 2 sisters are my bridesmaids and have the capacity to drive me insane. Due to this, I don't want either of them on the top table for fear of slapping one of them! My planned argument for my Ma (I'm anticipating that she will not take it well) is that it wouldn't be appropriate to have both of them on the top table, and I'm not prepared to favour one over the other and appoint one MOH (and so sit that one at the top table).

Just wondered if any of you plan to/or have had untraditional top tables???? In other words, how do I get rid of them legitmately?! I need a well thought out plan of attack in advance of this inevitable conversation!

33 replies

Latest activity by Jelly, 26 August, 2026 at 08:09
  • MrsShark
    Beginner September 2011
    MrsShark ·
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    We are not having a top table as OH's mum and dad are divorced and don't speak, my parents are both divorced and remarried, OH is having two best men and I have three BM's so trying to accommodate all of us would mean that the top table would have to be MAHOOSIVE so we are just having a table with us and our BM's, best men and ushers and parents will have their separate tables with family!

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  • Spangler
    Beginner September 2010
    Spangler ·
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    We didn't have a conventional top table because A) it would have been lopsided as Mr Spangles has more family than me and B) I couldn't bear sitting on the same table as his Dad (who eats with his mouth open and drinks like a fish), his Stepmum (who invented the word fun sponge - she's can suck a room dry of any fun) and his Mum is just a looper.

    We had me, Mr S, My Mum, the Best Man, 3 Bridesmaids, 2 people who did readings and one of their husbands.

    Don't have it as a top table - we didn't refer to it as such and had circular tables. We put some people out (mainly my H's family) but don't worry about it.

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  • charliebird7
    Beginner March 2012
    charliebird7 ·
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    I also have 2 sisters that are going to be my bridesmaids and I don't have a moh. Neither of them will be sitting on the top table, instead I want our sons to sit with us.

    What about the best man's gf/wife if he has one? x

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  • pandorasbox
    Beginner August 2012
    pandorasbox ·
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    Have you thought about a sweetheart table? A lovely hitcher told me about them, just you and your new hubby together. I was worrying as we have similar problems with divorces, bad behaviour, drinkers etc. Think we are going to have the sweetheart option, or if not then a very untraditional top table of me with my mum and bridesman on my side of the table, and my hubby next to me with his dad and best man on his side. I sort of like the idea of people being at the top, ready for speeches and gifts, but the way the traditional mixing up goes would not be v comfortable for any of our bridal party and I want them to be able to relax, not have to make polite conversation with someone they have only just met for the first time.

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  • Red Baroness
    Beginner July 2012
    Red Baroness ·
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    The boy wants a traditional long top table, but I don't think that is really going to work for us as it will probably look unbalanced.

    Don't know who the best man is yet Charliebird. Top contender has been an utter shite of late so is out of the running! He could have a best woman yet, just to make it even more complicated!

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  • Vikster79
    Beginner July 2011
    Vikster79 ·
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    We got around this by only having "us" and our parents. No MOH, no parents OH's etc. Its 6 people and that is IT no more to say on the matter ? well that was how i told people.

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  • Kooks
    Beginner September 2011
    Kooks ·
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    My parents are divorced so a traditional top table wouldn't have worked for us either. Instead my dad is going to host a table (made up mostly of my mates that he knows) and my mum and step dad will sit with OH's parents etc. Would that work for you?

    We'll be sat with my step-son, bridesmaids, best man and their partners!

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  • MrsShark
    Beginner September 2011
    MrsShark ·
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    View quoted message

    My OH is having both a Best Man AND a Best Woman! He couldn't decide between the two, the Best Man is an absolute diamond and the Best Woman is probably the person who has known him longest so I said why not both?

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  • Red Baroness
    Beginner July 2012
    Red Baroness ·
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    View quoted message

    Vikster, that may just solve our problem!

    It's becoming much more popular isn't. He has only known her for about 2 years, but she has been brilliant recently. I think he has some decisions to make!

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  • lauren700
    Beginner
    lauren700 ·
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    I havnt completely planned ours yet but no - i dont like the idea of splitting couples up - ie best man and partner so going to have us, the two sets of parents and then need another four. I've three young b,s so might have them as i think they'd love being in front of everyone!

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  • Storky
    Beginner May 2011
    Storky ·
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    Just have your parents. Make sure the Best 'Person' is seated nearby for speech time!

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  • jojo2
    Beginner June 2012
    jojo2 ·
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    My sister got married last year and me and my older sister who were bridesmaids didn't sit at top table. I hosted a table with my little boy and my OH and my sister sat with her family at another table, so did the best man. just bride groom and parents sat at the top table and it was fine.

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