Am i being selfish? Venue drama!

Be selfish! This is your day! It really is not unreasonable to ask people to travel over an hour to a wedding. I travelled from south England to Scotland for my brothers. People travel much further and even go abroad these days. They will book a hotel if they don’t want to drive back. If they want to be part of your day they will be there wherever you choose.

Nope. Not selfish at all. It's the venue you like and, as you said, is financially viable. I think people forget that factor when telling you what you should do for your wedding.
Explain politely but firmly that this is the venue you have chosen, and you will provide details of nearby accommodation. That's what we're doing, and what most of the weddings I've been to have done.

No you are not being selfish. I’m a northerner living down south and my immediate family live 5 hours drive from where we live and where we got married three weeks ago! The venue is 20 mins drive from my house. My parents didn’t bat an eyelid where it was, they helped choose as they were paying. My husband s family live much nearer as he’s a southerner (someone has to be lol). You shouldn’t worry about the distance, people will travel for special occasions, I had a uni friend and her husband comes from Scotland so a 7 hour drive and they stayed two nights in the hotel. Feel free to use my wedding as an example to explain to your families that people do travel!

Not selfish at all, choose the venue you love! Our venue is 1.45 hours away from us/partners family and 3/3.5 hours from my family. We’ve listed lots of accommodation options on our website and some of my family are travelling down the day before. We live in London and we’ve attended weddings in Cornwall, Devon, Glasgow, and in Portugal, Spain and Italy (as well as many that have been 2-3 hours away). Like others have said above, people will travel for weddings and I think 1.5 hours is really reasonable!

Its your wedding your day your way x to keep the peace could you afford a coach to take and bring home your guests x💗 but remember do change your venue x💗

Not selfish at all. If anything your parents are being selfish by wanting you to compromise on your dream wedding venue that you love and fits in your budget just so their family have a shorter journey. 1.5 hours is nothing compared to how far some people travel for weddings. The distance won't matter to family that love you and want to celebrate your day.

I agree with everyone else, defo not selfish! I don't think an hour and a half is unreasonable at all and I'm sure your family will manage to travel. I have never been to a wedding that didn't take at least an hour and a half to get too and I think its pretty common for guests to travel to weddings these days.

Up until recently I was travelling an hour and a half each way for work. I just got on with it. They need to get over the distance amd time. I travelled across the country to be at weddings of people I love and care about.

One of my friends got married in her home town of Scotland. Most of her UK guests were from Wales or South of England and most of her fiance's guests were from overseas. An hour and a half is nothing. That doesn't even require a hotel room if you're prepared to stick to the soft drinks!

It's your wedding!! Do what you want! I'd do the same! Xxx

View quoted message Thank you so much everyone! You have given me the little boost of confidence I needed to sit my parents down for a honest chat, and we are looking to reserve our date ASAP! x

This is your day! My family will be closer than my partners to the venue but at the end of the day you really need to think about yourselves. It’s their loss if they miss your special day. Be selfish if it really is your dream venue!!

I'm a groom to be. My partner and I are getting married in crete. I'm English, she's austrailian. The venue is a 4 hour plan journey for my family, and 22 hours for hers. Not including travel to/from the airport either side. No-one has raised this as an issue, they are happy to be invited to our special day and to celebrate with us. Tell your parents to do one...

Absolutely not, it’s a day to be selfish and do what you and your partner want!! The way I see it is that people who want to be there, will be there, even if they do moan about it! If it’s your perfect venue then don’t let anyone put you off!

Absolutely not. This is your day. Let them decide for themselves if it’s too far or not.

What your doing talking to them just tell them its annoying when others get in on your planning x💗

This is really close compared to most of the weddings I've been invited to!!

I managed to find a venue that was a 40-60 minute (ish) journey from both sides of our family. I spent so long trying to find a venue and making it work with getting married locally to my family or getting married locally to my partner's family. However, in the end we fell in love with a venue and it happened to be similar distances for all the family. You should go for the venue you want. This is your one big day and the travel should be the least of their worries. I would maybe suggest finding some local hotels that you can suggest to those travelling from further away.

Absolutely not at all - some people ask friends & family to travel abroad for their special day, myself included. I don't think an hour and a half is unreasonable at all. You should follow your heart to go with the venue you've fallen in love with, your family will get over it but you only have one wedding day! (Hopefully!)

Definitely not selfish. We’ve booked one 1hr15 from our home. Regardless of where you book SOMEONE has to travel so what’s the big whoop. As long as there are places for people to stay… you choose the venue for you!

No way! It’s your day! Not theirs. My family are travelling 8 hours to be at mine! X

At the end of the day, it's your wedding, you and your partner are putting in a lot of time, money, and effort into your wedding. This is certainly something I've learned along the way, you're never going to please everyone no matter what you do so just focus on making it a lovely wedding and do what's best for you and your partner x

It's not selfish at all, it's your day so do what makes you and your partner happy. Me n my partner are going through the same kind of thing as we are getting married in turkey but it's what we want xx

Not selfish at all! It’s your day so do what you want. An hour and a half isn’t THAT far. X

Not selfish at all. People get married abroad done they?! Get married where you want to get married hun. Hope it all sorts itself out xx

If you’ve found the perfect venue then the people that love you both should respect that. They can book hotels and make a night of it.
Remember it’s your day your way …

Yep, your day, your choice.


My mother says it can be tricky when parents, particularly the parents of the bride, contribute to the wedding. But at the end of the day, family will be there. You’re not asking them to travel abroad! So they should be grateful for that. If concerned, offer to pay for close family accommodation the night before and after… good luck!

Nope. not a bit. your parentals though are being massively so. have it where you want. if those you invited want to go they will go, they wont be bothered about distance. which isnt alot anyway. im in n.i, our wedding service will be in hometown then venue is just over 1hr away. we both have guests driving roughly 60-90mins to get to chapel. no one has a problem. 'yaay! weekend away' seems to be the vibe thankfully.

No, you're not selfish. I'm wanting to get married literally miles away from where my family live. I have it that if they can't make the effort then that's down to them. It's my day.

I am in a similar predicament. My partner’s family lives three hours away from mine and I have my heart set on my families local church as a venue. You are not being selfish one bit. Someone said to me that if that is the place you both have your hearts set on then you need to put yourself first over others as it is YOUR day not theirs. If they really wanted to come to your big day then they would make the effort in travelling to the wedding.

Not selfish at all! It's your day. Appreciate their opinions, but that's for them to figure out, not you guys 😊

Hello! We have booked our dream venue which is 2 hours away from my family, and three hours away for my fiancé’s family. There are accessibility issues on both sides. However- lots of the family are going to car share/ hire a minibus. We fell in love with the venue and it was right for us- price bracket, accessibility friendly and picturesque.
Remember- it is YOUR day. Family will find something to moan about because they will think of themselves first, not you and your partner. If they want to be there, they will be!