Anxiety and stress

I am a July 2022 bride so I have 4.5 months to go as I have just realised lol. I can't say I have the same experience as you as I am not stressed at the moment but I have done most things except the men's suits and wedding rings. How long have you been engaged? We got engaged in Nov 2020 and I started planning straight away as I was so excited! Even though I am 45 with two daughters this is my first wedding!

For your list of things to sort I would make a priority list so in my opinion the most important thing for you at the moment is to send the invitations. Did you send Save the Dates as if so I would use the same template?

I personally wouldn't bother with a videographer as I think photos are enough, this takes one task off that list. For the photographer I just googled my location and shortlisted 3.

Regarding hair and make up, are you certain you need both of these? Could you do your own makeup for instance or ask a friend who is good at her own make up to do yours? My sister did that, she only paid for a hairdresser, means one less supplier I guess.

My best advice is lists. lists and more lists!

And definitely give other people some tasks to lighten the load on you. Good luck

Im getting married in June too - feel like we’re on track but I’ve started having anxiety dreams about the wedding (which is really not like me) - so know you aren’t alone!
I agree with Yorkshire lass - make some lists. I’d suggest trying to break things down into more manageable chunks and dealing with them one at a time. If it helps, we aren’t bothering with a videographer either! And our cake will be made of cheese, which our venue is supplying so it’s another thing we don’t need to sort. If we were to have a cake though, I think we’d have gone high street - simpler, less hassle and considerably cheaper!
Deep breath and good luck!

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Been engaged since Dec 2020, but only started planning Dec 2021 because our families are both from overseas and Covid made it so hard to plan a wedding. My initial plans have gone through several iterations in 2021, (like possibly getting married back home) until I finally accepted that I may not have family at my wedding day here in UK; that's when I got into gear and planned it.

It's also my first wedding, and I'm less than 10 years younger than you. I'm really excited and have dreamt of this day since I was a girl. But I think with expectations come disappointments. And I've had to scale down a lot of expectations already, cause I don't print money! I need to order my wedding invitations quite urgently I think, so I'll try and get onto it next week.

I need the videographer and maybe livestreaming, cause most of my family (including my dad) and best friends will not be able to fly over here for my wedding.

I also need to research Covid travel requirements for re-entering my home country for mom mom and my fiance's parents. It's all so up in the air!!!!

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Yea I've got lists everywhere. Problem is they're everywhere. And my internet browsers have tabs after tabs openned. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Managing and organising is what I do at work; but I feel like I'm doing a terrible job at both my wedding and my work!

I'm glad to know I'm not alone in having some anxiety. Not that I'd wish for company.

View quoted message Ah I understand why you are more stressed with the travel issues of course. That is tough. And why you need the videographer for your livestream. I’m sorry the planning has not been more enjoyable and can only say I hope you can share out the jobs so it doesn’t seem so overwhelming. I would give your helpful bridesmaids and friends plenty of things to do as well. Focus on the invites for now.
And yes deep breath and try to stay focused on the task in hand. I wish you luck 🍀

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Thank you.

My wedding is 4 weeks tomorrow and while I don’t feel stressed I can understand why you are, we’ve also been planning for over 18 months and had all the big things sorted about a year before our day. I would try not to stress and just get things booked asap, i also agree with the above post we’re not having a videographer either most in our area charge £2000 for a 10 minute clip just doesn’t seem worth it to me! I’m sure your day will be perfect and you’ll wonder what you were ever worried about ❤️

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Ooo how exciting for you! I hope your day goes beautifully too. You were so organised!!!

I'm trying not to let the anxiety stop me from functioning and making decisions. Unfortunately it's definitely had some impact with the speed I'm making my decisions.

The video is mainly to cater for our family members and best friends who won't be able to fly to the UK from SE Asia for our wedding. It does cost a lot, but I wanted something my family could watch back.

Thanks so much for the encouragement!

It is so hard to make decisions on things, there were a few things/people I knew I definitely wanted and everything else I just researched and found favourites quite quickly so I think I have had it quite easy and I only booked everything so quick because I was worried about postponed covid weddings and everyone being booked up which tbh I don’t think was much of a problem as our florist cancelled about 5 months ago and I found a new one straight away and same with hairdresser too I think I done most of my panicking last year haha! Thank you so much just praying for good weather now

Think about rating things as either ‘essential’ (you can’t get married without this) or ‘nice to have’. Eg. it’s essential to have a venue, get your ID checks to get married, invite people, have photographer/videographer, and have food/drinks/entertainment. But things like table centres or wedding favours are ‘nice to have’. Once you’ve got your essential items done you can literally get married!


This has helped me feel much less stressed about things, and by the afternoon we will have done everything essential to get married (we posted invites yesterday and have our ID checked this morning). This is for a May wedding.
And for reference our evening reception venue cancelled on us in December, which meant we basically had to re-imagine the whole day!

Trying not to let the stress and anxiety get to me 😅

Remember that ultimately the only thing that truly matters is that you and FH are both there and get married! Try thinking of anything else as a bonus. Then, as Tamsin suggests, prioritise all those other things so you know what to focus your energy on - ignore the others until you've ticked off the top one and so on.

Deep breath, you've got this!

View quoted message Thank you for the encouragement and support ladies!!!! I managed to get the big ticket items progressing, wedding invites next. Fingers crossed that bridesmaids dress shopping goes well this weekend

View quoted message Aww well done! I know - I feel like I still have a mountain of things to do but I’m pleased that the essentials are done now.


Idk if you’ve ever watched the US Office (me and FH love it). I keep mentally replaying the bit where Pam and Jim are getting married and she’s like “everyone’s driving me crazy!” and she’s having a little (well-deserved!) stress cry. And that makes me feel like I’m not so alone! I haven’t stressed cried yet, but I’m sure I will at some point. But then I’ll figure out what’s important or decide that it’s not important and then get on with it! That’s really the only option!

View quoted message Alas, I don't watch the Office. But stress crying does help. Oddly enough I haven't reached that stress cry phase yet. I had an angry cry phase a month ago though. Lol. The stress got really bad at one point for me, my shoulders were all tensed up and i was so nauseous and very restless that i couldn't think straight. That was horrendous. It's calmed down a lot now, but this morning I woke up mildly anxious. But that is probably cause I have not sorted my wedding invites at all yet. And I'm worried there is not enough time. Heck I'm generally just worried there's not enough time.


Hugs to you, hope your wedding plans are coming along smoothly too.

I’ve felt fine and planning going wellBut family keep finding faults and making a big deal out of I. Like tonight, I end up feeling so stressed Thai have a migraine. Can barely see to type. Could do with some relaxation techniques

View quoted message I'm so sorry to hear that. Big hugs. I've been having bridesmaids drama over dresses and it's causing me a lot of stress. Take a break tonight from wedding planning and just go do something else entirely different.


There was one time my anxiety was so bad I could barely do anything. I listened to Christian music the entire time just to calm myself down. If you have something like that, that brings you comfort.... try that.
Big hugs

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Thank you so much.

You have no idea how apt your reply is. I’m on a Worship team and you just stopped me cancelling a guitar lesson which I’m having as they would like me to take turns leading.

View quoted message Forgot to add, the song that helped me at the most stressful time ( in 2020) was “ You Say” by Lauren Daigle. If you ever need it.


Thanks again
Jo

View quoted message I used to be on a worship team also but have had to step back for the past year cause I had no capacity to deal with anything else atm when I'm trying to buy a house (house bought and moved into, now just trying to do it up), plan a wedding and work a demanding job. But worship music has always helped me in so many ways.


I'll have a listen to the song you recommended. I listen to a lot of Don Moen and Hillsong.
I would love to learn the guitar one day but don't like the pain on my fingers. I play the piano myself. My keyboard unfortunately is in storage in a friend's garage at the moment too.

View quoted message I hope you've either had your special day, or its coming up soon.... have a wonderful day!

View quoted message Haven’t heard of Don Moen but will have to listen to him.
Playing guitar for a short time every day builds up calluses ( which you may not want) to protect your fingers a little. Which I don’t do so still painful.

You do sound busy so definitely needed a break.
Having a better day today and some problems from last night sorted. Hope you are too.

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Hi hun how are you feeling as it gets closer have you had time to relax 🛀 and let some stress out xx💗

View quoted message Unfortunately no. My stress levels are slowly increasing. No time to relax cause work is also just as demanding. 😂😅 but I'm trying to take it one day at a time, so I don't descend into panic. Thanks for asking

View quoted message Anytime we are all here to talk if you need to chat xx💗

I'm a May bride and I have less than 2wks to go!
The entire process of planning my wedding has been extremely stressful and panic attack inducing. Believe me when I say you are NOT alone.
Also being so close to my big day (despite some more stress from a control freak MoG), one everything is finalised you will feel much calmer. Once we finalised numbers, arranged seating and paid (nearly all) vendors, there is little more to do. I'm taking this time to breathe. That sounds silly, but uts true. Remember to take some time for yourself and be kind to yourself. Take it from me (a serial worrier) that it will be okay. The anxiety will subside. Xx

View quoted message Thank you for your reply. My anxiety is increasing as I get closer to June, I can imagine how you feel. But I also feel surely as the big tickets items are all done, surely this anxiety will settle. I pray that your anxieties have settled and that leading up to your wedding, you'll be a calm as can be. Have a happy wedding day!!!! Big hugs to you

View quoted message Thank you so much!
The closer it gets the less there is to stress about. I keep telling myself all I have to do is say "I do" to the person I love, look pretty (which is my makeup artists job) then I can eat cake!
I really hope your nerves settle down. Sending you all the love and I'd you ever need to chat I'm always here xx

View quoted message I just sent out my digital wedding invites 2 weeks ago, and now sending the second batch off. Need to also do my wedding church programs/order of service, seating charts, and finishing touches/decor. Also to be organised is the wedding car and bus. Once those are sorted, I think I'll finally be able to relax a bit.

I am married already but the time leading up to my wedding was the most stressful as I was going to be a man wearing womens shoes and a dress to my own wedding so was nervous and because of that I totally understand that no matter what you have going through your mind making you nervous it is justified and if you need to talk to someone I'll be here

It seems to me that anxiety suffers not only before the wedding. Any serious event can instill fear in a person. And the main thing is to notice it in time and start fighting it.