Anyone else *not* having a table plan?

Personally, I would always have a table plan unless I was having long tables with benches rather than chairs.

Is everyone in couples? Otherwise you're relying on everyone sitting and not leaving one spare seat. What if a family of three and a couple sat on one table - that means there's only one seat left? Who is going to sit there?

Table plans don't have to be a headache. Yes, it's nice to put some effort in and seat people together that will 'gel' but really, they're all adults - they'll get on for a couple of hours regardless.

We're not having one either, I always feel a bit stuck when I'm given a place to sit, I feel more as if I have to stay there for longer than I would normally! Also I wouldn't dare get involved in the politics of seating people, sounds complicated! That said, our reception is going to be informal, so it wouldn't perhaps be appropriate for us anyway.

Positives: as you say, making sure people serving know where to find the veggies (although in my experience at some venues that doesn't always happen!); and speed - it's much quicker to get everyone in and sat down if they know exactly where they are going.

I personally don't think they're a necessity, but I suppose it depends on how formal you want the event to be.

What Kharv said!

We're having a really informal day and I disliked the idea of table plans for our own wedding but then thought to myself, if a group of my friends sit down together at one table, no one else is likely to come along & perch themselves on the end. We're having the bench style tables in long rows but even so, the numbers problem remains.

We don't really want to hire in extra tables just so odd numbers can be accounted for & I'd hate to put my guests in a situation where they may have to split up to get a seat.

I think we'll have a loose plan to combat this- guests may be allocated to a row of tables (24 per row) but will then be free to sit wherever they want within that block of tables for example.

So, that's one vote each way...!!

Kharv - as it happens, apart from one of my OH's sisters & his great aunt, everyone is actually in a couple! One of the tables will need a 7th chair on the end anyway, so it should balance out.
We're not having any kids there, so that's an extra consideration we can cross off.

Jury is currently still out though...!

My brother didn't have one for his wedding and it was chaos! Caused everyone such a headache! Odd numbers were a pain and people then ended moving. People like to be told what todo in such situations ime. I went to a wedding this year with my parents. OH couldn't come, so I only knew the couple, my bro (who was on the top table) and my parents. I was sitting on my own! But you're an adult, you deal with it and I got on really well with others on my table. I would have hated to have found somewhere to sit myself!

Im not having a seating plan as im having a hot buffet so not a wedding breakfast so i will let people sit where they choose or stand if they choose, our wedding is less formal no speeches or anything so it wont really matter if people want to mingle while their eating they can.

My vote goes against 'no seating plans', we have just finished ours and it was a bit of a headache but at the end of the day it'll save stress on the actual day. When i go to a wedding, i like being told where to sit so i dont have to flaff about and the embarrassment of moving

If there's a sit down meal, with food choices and what not, I think a seating plan is necessary. Odd numbers get left over, some people don't mix, nobody knows who is gluten-free.

I personally think not having a seating plan is a bad idea. Doing our plan was easy peasy and if most of your guests are in couples then I would give it a go at planning one yourself. It causes a lot less confusion and fuss if people know where they are going and can sit straight down.

I thought about not having one as we only have 40-45 (inc me and H2B) and ours is 'imformal bench stylee' but we are and I agree with the others it will be easier on the day and my Grandma wont be able to argue!

We told people which table to sit at but didn't tell them which seat to sit in. Can you not do this instead? We had benches and long tables so it worked fine.

I definitely prefer having a seating plan - even if it's as lady_laura_lou suggests and just allocating guests to tables rather than a specific seat. Even if you are lucky and your numbers work out right, it'll still take longer to get everyone seated, people may try to move chairs around to sit with their friends etc - too much chaos for me!

With hindsight, we might perhaps have not tried to "mingle" people quite as much as we did, but not having a seating plan was never an option for us.

I'm all for the seating plan although I can see others point of view against them.

I think it could end up taking twice as long for everyone to sit as well as being a nightmare for the waiting staff with regards to dietry requirements.

Could you not go somewhere in the middle and just put certain people on certain tables and leave it at that, they then decide who next to fRom that point onwards?

I'm aware I'm a bit sad but I'm quite looking forward to discussing with my OH properly about who will sit next to who and then imagine our day. And that is even with having a couple of guests we think may need to be seated as far away from eachother as possible and therefore could cause a seating plan headache!

I'm of the opinion it does make life easier eventually for staff and your guests if it is a proper sit down dinner. There's plenty of free software or ways to make it headache-free. I used the martha stewart one and it was actually a piece of (wedding) cake to just swap people about. Guests can always get up and mingle after speeches and food if you wanted an easy feel to it, the whole thing won't have to be rigid and stuffy.

I am having a buffet because I do not want to tell people exactly what to eat or when, plus I have varying tastes of my own. This means I don't need a seating plan, which makes me quite happy because I generally don't like little details like that.

It can be easier for classic formal sit-down meals though.

I've been an event manager for many years now and in my experience, not doing a table plan at events like weddings is a bad idea for the following reasons:

1) A group of people larger than 40 all trying to figure out where to sit is a nightmare, it's like watching a herd of lost sheep. Get a group of 70 plus and it descends into chaos, because people spend ages looking for a seat, which in turn messes up the catering times etc.

2) When people join a table, most people don't realise it, but they have a habit of sitting down and leaving one space free between them and a complete stranger. This creates loads of random, single places dotted around the room, which inevitably forces some couples and guests with plus ones to be separated - ask most people and they will tell you they hate being separated from their OH/plus ones at large events, especially if they don't know many people. It can make people feel very uncomfortable and some of them end up having a miserable time on their own.

3) Most of us brides unfortunately will end up having to invite that one really irritating / disliked person or couple to their wedding. If you don't have a seating plan, you can guarantee that those irritating people will plonk themselves right in front of YOU during the wedding breakfast and they will really get on your nerves all day! (Trust me, I've seen this happen and it's one of the worst things that can happen to you on your big day!). Having a table plan allows you to engineer where the funny, lovely relatives and bezzie mates sit in relation to you to maximise your enjoyment!

4) Family and friend politics - yes, doing a plan can cause politics, but overall, a table plan helps you successfully manage family feuds and arguing friends effectively.

In summary, a table plan saves a lot of time and confusion, and allows you personally to get the best dining experience on your wedding day with your favourite guests sitting near you.

I think this is what we will do. If I have time I may try to pick seats for people, but if not I think people will be able to cope with knowing that they're one of 20 on a bench - fingers crossed!

Wow, thanks for all the responses ladies!! ?

I think you've convinced me to at least attempt a basic "please sit at this table" kind of plan, if not going the whole hog of designating seats. Does seem to be a sensible thing to do on many levels.

Well, now I know how I'll be entertaining myself over Christmas....!!! ?

We're allocating tables to 'families' or 'gangs', so the XXXX's Crew and the XXXXX Family will be on table Y, for example, but they can sit where they like. And we're not having our team members split from their other halves and kids for the meal - I hate that! We'll eat with the best man and his family, our families will each eat together and then the tables will have a bridesmaid or an usher on, with their partners/families. Spreading the love

If you're having plated food, I'd say yes, a table plan is advantageous, especially for vegetarians etc. venues like to be sure of what they're doing and organisation is a key part of giving good service.

If however you're having a buffet meal, I'd say go for it and just let people make up their own mind!

Pete

A lovely idea but you could potentially end up with lots of single spaces and only couples to fill them, making people feel a little awkward perhaps and having to move or sit without their partners.

Literally the first thing I did when we stated planning was to do a rough table plan (without even sending out the invitations) because we both have divorced parents and so its very important to us that they be seated strategically so they are far away from each other and wont be making eye contact etc.

If you have anyone at your wedding who you'd prefer not to be near another person (for example, ex husbands/wives) then a seating plan is a good idea.