Anyone not inviting a brother or sister etc?

Not in the same position regarding bro or sis, but an uncle of mine has made it perfectly clear that he is a hooooooj homophobe and wouldnt come to the wedding, however, after much debate with my sister i have decided to invite him and his wife and prepare to be snubbed. I would prefer to send an invite and get a rejection, rather than snub them first and not send an invite. Would you not consider that? It could be an olive branch.

I have three brothers and 1 sister and for many reasons ive nt got on with my odlest (im 27, hes 42) as hes had torubles in the past and messed my mum around but i wouldnt dreamof never inviting him.......as you say, if he needed a kidney or anything id be there in a shot.....

Vicksters got it right with the invite, then your're being the bigger person and its up to her whether or not to come !

Moi. My brother instigated a mahoosive row with my Mum Xmas before last. It'd been building up for years (relating to his adoption) but when he ended up calling her a see you next tuesday that was the last straw for me. Then he ignored the birth of my son and his subsequent hospital visit for a life saving operation. So nope, my brother will not be getting an invite to my wedding. I know it will upset my Mum but he is a total scum bag and I wouldnt risk him making a scene. Plus my OH would lamp him into another county!

Miss - nah dont invite her. I'd leave well enough alone.

Vik - invite Uncle Homophobe but put a giant pic of you and OH snogging on the front haha!

View quoted message

best piece of advice ever. FACT?

He'd have a coroniary!

View quoted message

haha! sorry to thread jack but Vick i love your new avatar, its so cute !!!!!!!!!

Sorry to hear about your family troubles. My situation isn't quite the same as yours.

None of OH's family (parents, sister, bil and niece) were at ours. They were outraged that we hadn't asked the niece to be a bridesmaid and caused huge rows about it despite the fact we were going to try and involve her in some other way. We did try and tell them it wasn't '???'s bridesmaid day', but our wedding day but it was clear that her being a bm and centre of attention was far more important than our wedding and daughter's christening. My OH tried to smooth things over, but sil was so blindsighted and poisionous about it all that he gave up trying. We didn't want to send invitations to them until it was all sorted. It never was so we didn't send invites (and give them the satisfaction of 'turning us down'!). In any event, we knew if they did come, they'd sit there with faces like slapped a***s and put a dampner on the day so we preferred that they didn't show up. It completely ruined the whole run up to the wedding for us and we got so behind with all the organisation it was a mad panic and so stressful towards the end. I was so worried that it would be put a black cloud on the wedding day and look really odd that OH's family weren't there, but thankfully it didn't and we still had the time of our lives.

I think it's important to do what you feel most comfortable with. I think I agree with your Mum. Do you think it's worth calling her or writing her a letter and explaining that you'd like here there and to try a fresh start, or do you think that's pointless. Don't invite her if you think she'll spoil your day and don't invite her cos you feel you have to. Only invite her if you really want to from the bottom of your heart.

Good luck, it's very hard when situations like this arise in families. Life's too short but sometimes there's nothing we can do about it despite our best endeavours ☹️

I've tried too many times to be the bigger person and been shot down and rejected too many times by her.

To be honest i don't know what they'll be doing in 3 weeks time as my youngest nephew has been in a bad way lately. xx

View quoted message

2nds that xx

.

.

I completely dislike my brother, with a passion. However, he was invited, along with my SIL for my parents sake and it was "the right thing".

However, they're acting like spoiled brats and refusing to come as we're not inviting children and they have an 18 month old son. I don't want to get into the should you or shouldn't you invite children but there are lots of genuine reasons why we made this rule and it's just an excuse for them to cause a scene and make it all about them AGAIN.

Hi

I didnt invite my real mother I hadnt really seen much of her in 4 years but obv wanted her to be there but then she said horrid things etc so I decided not to invite her - it ended up with none of my real mothers side coming to the wedding but that is their choice. If you know it would just make your day uncomfortable dont invite her!

Vikster - def send a big photo of you both ha! another likey for the avatar!

Claire x

Couldn't imagine not having my Sister there , she's my MOH lol.. But slightly different - We wont be inviting H2B's birth Mum. Not due to her being a horrible person or anything, we just feel it's not right and wouldn't be nice for his real parents. My view is that she gave up her right to see anything her first born does in his life when she gave him away.. Although they've been in contact for quite a few years now.

We have an issue on both sides. My sister's BF is a hideous individual and he has succsessfuly ruined xmas's, my mums graduation, my graduation and my 21st to name a few. I am not leting him within an inch of my wedding but I am running the risk of her not coming as she thinks it rude not to invite him.

MiMinis brother is not speaking to us and hasnt done for nearly 2 years over some money he feels we owe him. He has ignored all of the xmas/bday cards we have sent him so we dont expect him to turn up but are inviting him anyway.

Overall I feel that you should invite her as it does make you the bigger person. Is she dosnt turn up then thats her issue. She can never say in future years "of well MissU diddnt invite me to her wedding blah blah blah"

We are also in this position except with OH's Brother.

Before they fell out My OH and his brother were best friends they saw eachother nearly every week but one night his brother went out and started a verbal rant via text to my OH, loads of stuff about me and OH and about the wedding, he has since said it was because he was drunk but refuses to apologise properly. I think we should invite him and be the bigger people but OH doesnt want any more to do with him.

Dunno what to do ?

I don't agree with people say be the biggger person and invite her, because it wont be recieved by her as you being the bigger person, she is likely to think 'wtf would i wanna go to her wedding'.....that isnt how i would want my invite to be recieved, i think by NOT inviting someont it can have more of an impact

I wont be inviting OH daughter who is 21yrs old, and who refuses to have anything to do with me, despite never meeting me, nor even speaking to me. She kick started a massive row on fb by calling her dad, my OH, a c u next tuesday, and then her friend making a nasty remark about my daughter and granddaughter, why would i want someone so viscious and vile at my wedding?

If she has an invite it will come from OH only, deep down secretly i hope he decides not to invite her but if he does i will stand by him and be 'the bigger person' but i cant guarantee how my own children will be with her

Hiya I am having a quite similar situation with my birth brother and my female cousin.

First of all my brother: Were both adopted, sep houses, sep families and have grown very much apart over the years and havent actually seen him since about 5 years ago when he turned up with a half eaten box of chocs and a card from his 'son' who I later found out was killed but sorry to say I never really believed him anyway! He let something awful happen to me when I was 16 and in his care and says I should just 'let it go.' I dont know whether to invite him because he's my brother because I know my mum, OH and half my family who I speak to not to mention my best friend would want to lynch him for what he did.

My cousin: Those of you who read my post about me asking my female cousin's dad to give me away will remember the 'dilemma' I had with this one. She caused a massive row over me asking her dad and to be fair I can see now where she was coming from and understand how she may have felt but I know she is going to make our day miserable because since this row I have tried everything I can to make amends, letter, text, email, I've even gone to her house but she hasnt answered the door. I have told my mum straight I didnt want to invite her and she said I had to because if I didnt I would be making my uncle chose between me and his daughter and I would end up being upset. I stepped up and was the 'bigger person' by saying to my uncle that if he felt he couldnt do it then I understand as I love him very much and would be upset but I didnt want to lose my family over it. My mum is now giving me away and I am thrilled to bits but I dont want my cousin to think she's won!

I hope you make the right choice xxx

Im in two minds wether I should invite my mom and my older brother.

They are both strict muslims and they arnt happy Im marrying someone out of their faith.

Im not muslim...rebelled years ago. But I still will have the awfull guilt that if they did turn up...which is extremly unlikely...but if they do....having alcohol at the wedding....and wearing a white wedding dress etc will apall them. All the blatently taboo stuff right in font of their faces. Dont think that will go down at all well...but at the same time...OH and I want all those things and im not going to change just so they dont get offended. I dunno

At least i know i'm not alone!

I'm not inviting my sister... We were fairly close up until 3 years ago when our dad died.... He'd asked me to be executor of his will before he died - which made my sister jealous (she's the older one). Anyway, when he died, she argued about everything todo with the house, the money - just to try and make it out that I wasn't able to do anything correctly - she never once went to dads house and cleared it out - I did all of it, including going to the house every week to collect the post, cleaning and showing people around to try and sell it - even though it killed me as it smelt like him and I was in tears every time I locked up the house and left. She never once said thanks - just critisised, so one day I lost it with her and told her that she was not helping, was ungrateful and only interested in dads money (she was trying to get me to sell the house to anyone who offered anything as "the money would be betterr in her account earning interest rather than sat in the house!"). So she took the hump cause I dared to challenge her, and now we don't speak!! So..... In answer to your question, don't invite someone who will just stir up bad feelings!!!!!!

At the moment my OH’s mum and stepdad and also dad are not invited to the wedding….OH and his dad have never got on – he is a very selfish and manipulative person and always played OH and his sister off against each other so OH has had little to do with him for the past couple of years.

OH’s mum and stepdad kicked off a huge row about six months ago that neither of us understood about at the time and though I have said to OH that there is no need to decide yet whether to invite them or not but he is adamant – he sees the recent behaviour as just the final straw after years of emotional blackmail, sniping and total unsupportiveness.

So no, you are not on your own at all ….and that is what I love about Hitched!

New stress on this subject for me! My Mum told me last night that my brother and OH are pregnant again. And then my Mum casually mentions that brother has lost his phone. As if I'd be sending him a congratulations text! When my baby nearly died and he didn't even phone me about it! Am I being a biatch not even considering contacting him over this? He's a total pain, into drugs and smokes and swears like he's off the Chatsworth. Called my Mum a c*nt and if he did something like that at the wedding my OH would be in the nick for murdering him with his bare hands!

OMFG family does my head in sometimes.

Also mrs_lewis_2b urghhhhhhhhhh I've been there and it was absolutely awful. I was executor of my Dad's will (8 years ago now) and I had to sell his house with no help. I used to just stand and cry in the centre of the room cos I didnt want to touch anything. And my useless brother did nothing to help either! It's such a hard thing to do, I wouldnt wish it on anyone.

I've got 4 brothers and 4 sisters, and none of them are invited.

1 of my sisters in particular I have issues with. She gave my son redbull when he was in neonatal after being born 13 weeks early. WTF she was thinking I don't know. And she slept with my ex fiance 2 months before our wedding. Was fun telling all the Hitched ladies about that ?

OH isn't inviting any of his family either as they've done nothing but treat him like a hinderance. His mother refused to aknowledge me as anything other than his "friend" (she doesn't even know she's going to have another grandchild)

sorry, rambling, but GGRRRR to families.

When my dad died 2 years ago, my sister spent months on her own. She has a lifetime of regret, as she spent all her time when dad was with us telling him that she didn't love him, wanted nothing to do with him etc. My dad, god bless him had done nothing wrong. He worked hard, provided for his family and gave her the earth, for it to be thrown back in his face. I knew he was very hurt, and i think the relationship i have with my parents also angered my sister as she was jealous that i had a good relationship with both my mam and my dad. I've always been close to them, and can openly tell them i love them. My sister, sadly never tells people other than her two kids.

She did nothing to help our grieving mother. Things were more complicated when we lost dad, as he died 3000miles away in Kazakhstan (Russia), and his body had to be flown home, so we had to deal with the Embassy etc. She did nothing when it came to making the calls my mam couldn't make for insurance policies etc, funeral arrangements. Not a thing.

I now dread it. My mam has asked me to be chief executor on her will. Which is said of course i would do that for her. My sister doesn't know this. She also doesn't know that my mam wrote her out of her will. Obviously her grandkids will be taken care of, but not my sister.

My sister has always been into things for the money or the material gain. Whereas me, those things mean nothing to me. My relationships with people and the time i spend with them, helping them etc, thats what makes me happy.

I am in the same position. I fell out with my older brother and SIL about 4 years ago. It was my dad's birthday and he and my SIL were in the house when I arrived and he was just downright rude ignoring me and my OH when we tried to make conversation.


I have decided not to invite them to my wedding even although my OH thinks I should. They are the type of ppl who would turn round and say that the only reason they got an invite is because we wanted a present. If they did turn up they would spoil everyone's day and bitch about everything and also be nasty about it after the event.
My dad isn't too happy about it but as far as I'm concerned me and my OH are paying for it and that's the end of it.
It's your day. You have who you want there and that way you will enjoy your day and not be worrying what the toxic ppl will be saying.

Whem my sister got married i was heavly pregnant she knew this at the time of planning she said i was bridesmaid and my daughter was to only to find out after picking are dresses two weeks before the wedding change of plan she had her hen night without me and her best mate was bridesmaid now. To say i was gutted aint the word