Anyone put any unusual requests in your invites?

Just realised I wrote it 5 times in my last post, I really must be over opinionated - over cabbageated...?

Haha so it wasn't!

In my cabbage that's a great idea.

It's important to have strong cabbages. Shows you care.

My cabbages are never taken seriously.

These cabbages are very BLACK and white.

See what I did there??

*tumbleweed*

The world would be a very boring place if we all had the same cabbages.

I am just to over cabbegy, that's my problem, and if someone doesn't like my cabbage, then I couldn't care less! Everyone is entitled to a cabbage!

Respect my cabbage!

Seems there are a couple of omnipotent brides knocking around WP, or at least it would appear, that is how they perceive themselves.

Alot of cabbages stink..... fact!

Very interesting, last year my mum was invited to a wedding where the theme was black and white, and all the guests were asked only to wear these colours. My mum said the effect was fantastic and everyone seemed to have done as they were asked. I remember thinking that I would have been a little miffed as I would have had to buy a new outfit, but I would have done, my concern would have been the lack of choice of colour and the difficulty that presented in finding something rather than that I was being dictated to.

However a request for no black seems fine to be honest as there are still tons of colours to choose from. Black and white are two colours I thought you should avoid for weddings anyway (to clarify, to me this is mainly back, or white, and outfit containing each of these colours I think is fine). I also always try to avoid the colour of the wedding party if I know it before hand.

I understand what people are saying about buying new outfits, but I’m sure that I am not that unusual that I have 2 or 3 outfits in my wardrobe that would be suitable for a wedding, OK some are a few years old but a pretty dress is a pretty dress, and it gives me some options if money is tight.

What I am slightly horrified about this thread is the spitefulness, or people saying they would wear a colour just as they had been asked not to, seems a bit off to me!

And can also bring on a nasty bout of flatulence. ?

The thread has been taken over by the cabbage patch kids!

Couldn't read any more after page 12, it was making my brain hurt!

Anyways, I wouldn't be bothered about anyone asking me not to wear black but I wouldn't be impressed to be told to wear say all black and white (this happened at a wedding my mum went to and she was frantically trying to find a black and white outfit that suited her)! To echo some of the other points, I think you need to be a little more specific in what you're asking because there's no clear line such as "does my black shrug count, can I wear my black tights" etc. Perhaps just stipulate you'd prefer bright colours and people will probably be more understanding. Having said that, you know your guests and we don't so you have a better idea as to how they'll be about it.

I asked my H what he would say if we received an invite saying we couldn't wear black, what would he say and he just said 'fine'! Shows us men and women have completely different cabbages!!!

I can't believe people think that's rude! It's your wedding and you have spent all the time effort and money makig it perfect, and if you don't want people to wear black then that is fine, its your prerogative!

Everyone who is at your wedding will be your friends and family so I am sure nobody will take offence, and I hope they all come brightly dressed for you after all, they are getting a lovely day paid for by the bride & groom and should therefore follow any requests you have! lol x

It is likely that each guest will pay more to be at your wedding than you will pay for them.

Agreed. We're going to a wedding in Yorkshire next month. We have to travel up the day before, both taking a day off work which equates to well over £100 in wages. £40 on a room the night before the wedding, about £80 in petrol there & back. £100 for a room the night OF the wedding. £40 for a gift. Plus £40 or so in drinks for the day. That's £400 for the both of us to attend. Now, I've no idea how much their wedding is costing them, but I can almost guarantee it wont be £200 per guest.

ETA: The money doesn't bother me, because they're good friends of ours but just wanted to show how much it actually costs a guest to attend. It really isn't a "free" day out.

Even if you added up all of the costs associated with the wedding (dress, photographer, shoes etc), I imagine the guest will still be paying more to attend than you are spending per head.

If you take out anything that is for the bride and groom and just focussed on costs associated with the guest, I guarantee the guest pays more to attend than the couple spend on them.

My wedding for instance:

£150 per adult all together

£100 per adult when you take out 'our' bits and just focus on venue, food, alcohol etc.

I would have thought it definitely cost each of our guests more than £100 to attend! And that's why I didn't make any silly stipulations such as telling them what to wear.

Http://www.virginmedia.com/money/features/costofbeingweddingguest.php

This is a Virgin Media report of a Creditexpert survey. Average cost for a wedding guest in the UK - £386. If we subtract the hen/stag do cost (as not everyone will have attended these), it runs to £256 per guest. Further subtract £35 (split cost of gift), £24 (split cost on hotel room) and £25 (split cost of travel), you end up with £172 average guest spend.

£172! There can't be too many here who spent this much per head on their guests.

H and I spent £1000 for our best friends wedding 3 weeks ago, combine the hen and stag, hotel, present it soon adds up. Our other close friends get married in a few weeks and H has had to cancel the stag because we simply can't afford another thousand pound! If you are attending both hens and stags you wont get much change out of 1k!

My guests have zero expense as a result of our wedding

They may choose to buy a gift but that is their choice and is not a cost we have imposed on them.

I find that very difficult to believe.

How much has your box of emergency fascinators cost?

How is that then?!

?

I like how you changed opinion to cabbage - I thought it was beginning to read like 'onion'

.

I've worked out it costs me average of £283.52 per guest

OHs family guests - Average £10 travel, £40 gift (if they choose to) Guest cost £50

My Family guests- travel Average £50 travel, £50 previous night stay £40 gift (if they choose to) Guest cost £140

Not including my parents who are travelling from overseas as that would really upset the numbers

Because my friends and family are coming from so far we have chosen to pay for all their rooms for the night of the wedding so I assume that's why my numbers are skewed to it costing me for them to attend.

Plus their outfits cost and the cost of hen/stag do's if you have them. Are all drinks included?

We have a wedding in December where H is best man. It will cost us roughly £700 with stag do abroad, outfits, gift, drinks, taxis etc. I'm not even going on the hen as I'm not close with the bride thankfully or that would be another £300!

We paid £140 per head but guests will still have spent way more than that on outfits, gifts, stag and hen and transport. No way was I dictating what they could and could not wear!

So, no travel expenses, no accomodation expenses, no ladies making a trip to the hairdresser or maybe gents to the barbours and nobody will be investing in a pretty dress, accessories or maybe a new shirt etc, etc? Really, I am quite astonished.

Who's been spiteful? We're just expressing our cabbages.

Except for the cost of the hat/fascinator that you've asked all the ladies to wear ?