Anyone worried about children ruining their day?!

We didn't have children at our wedding for a few reasons. The first was that had we invited them we'd have had to cut our adult guest list and the ratio of children to adults would have been 1:3. We didn't want to not invite certain friends so that other friends could bring their children. Second, our venue had a fair bit of uneven flooring, a couple of open ponds, and we may have had a large open fire in the evening had it been cold (we couldn't anticipate the weather at the time of sending invitations) so unsuitable for children unsteady on their feet. The third wasn't so much being worried about children misbehaving/making noise through the ceremony, meal etc but more that the parents of those children are prone to leave them to get on with it/mollycoddle their children rather than removing them from the situation.

At that stage of our life it felt right. We could only base it on the experience of previous weddings we'd been to and we'd had far more fun at the adults only weddings before.

I have 9 nieces and nephews under 5 and I couldn't imagine our wedding without them but I understand other people's reasons for having adults only.

Our priest is usually quite good about children so I'm not too worried. Most of the children in our family are quite well behaved in church, I know they'll be running riot at the reception but that doesn't bother me. I think we'll put the children in a separate room with a childminder for the meal/speeches as it would get really boring for them and their parents could be stuck attending to them rather than enjoying it.

Only time I've experienced a problem was at my aunt's wedding years ago when the priest went on and on and on for ages, the kids started to get really restless and my wee cousin shouted out "this is the last wedding I'm going to!". Most people found it quite funny and the priest did wrap it up after that.

I am definitely worried about this. If I had it my way we would have had no kids wedding. But OH now has a niece so we have a flowergirl and now a page boy. The page boy has a brother so we're upto 3. Then we couldn't have one set of cousin's kids without the others so we hit 10 children all family on OH's side.

We are having a videographer so I worry they will run around and make noise during the ceremony and speeches. Hopefully the youngest will be 2.5 by the time of our wedding so things will be okay but was at a wedding last weekend where all the kids that will be at our wedding were there and they were noisy throughout the ceremony. I thought the parents would take them out of the room but they didn't. Eeek!!

As our wedding New Year's Eve it would be expensive and almost impossible to get babysitters and all the family will be at the wedding so wanted them there but I do expect the parents to keep control of their kids during the important bits!! Will be putting together a separate room with stuff in for the kids to keep them occupied

I do actually agree that you shouldn't have to buy activity packs for kids at weddings; even my mother agrees on this too. It isn't your responsibility to do so, it's the parents'. It may be that a ceremony is boring for them but so is the supermarket, so is shopping, so are many life occurances for kids but you don't see everyone supplying them with activity packs, that's their parents' responsibility. I have no, no problem with kids at the ceremony having the odd whispered chatter or playing with toys or even eating as long as they don't scream.

I also understand that parents may not want to, and may not be able to (in my brother's case they're dropping them so often that it must be hard to find a babysitter) find sitters so that's why we didn't disinvite kids. Even if they disinvite my dogs from outdoor days out that could easily have dogs there, because they don't like dogs.

Thankyou everyone for your comments and suggestions !!

We have kids at ours and I think they make a wedding. I have done them all gift bags with colouring books, crayons, Lego, cars, jigsaws, books, stickers, keying making kits, travel games etc.

Primark surprisingly had a load of cheap Lego kits and jigsaws!

Before I had children of my ownI didnt want kids there for that reason, but to be fair their parents should take charge and control their kids, however there are child minders which do weddings now, also our venue and in our package we have a childrens room, whoch we wont use as an adult has to be there whenever children are, but we are planning on having a childrens corner, with some games etc there, but once the music starts I think the children coming ours will just want to dance.. Oh and a sweet table, which shoul;d keep them quiet for a while. Good luck

We have our son who is 7, cousins 2 children who are 6 and 3 and other children.

I'm not worried about the children at all, 2 of our friends will have newborn babies(less than 4 weeks old) I'm worried about these more.

i've actually had this response from a few guests! Though in nice terms. For instance, one guest said, "Unless you really want Mary and John to come, we're leaving them with their grandparents." Another said, "It was really nice of you to invite little Michael, but I'm going to let my hair down for the evening!"

We've got 22 kids coming!!!

Two of them are ours. Only three real littleys - the rest will be between 6 - 10 years. If we'd got married sooner, instead of waiting for years, we probably wouldn't have had many children but as all our close friends have children, we'd like them to come. We are encouraging them to take kids home before 9pm so the adults can let their hair down & have a dance.

I'll definitely make party bags & we're collecting various (70s & 80s) games to have a games area. We reckon the the adults will be wanting to play "screwball Scramble" etc so will leave games out for the night! Also read somewhere about either giving kids disposable cameras & a list of pics to take or some sort of quiz to find hidden objects & that kind of thing (obviously if they are old enough). Might help keep them entertained!? Stickers are a must for smaller ones.

Yeah they sound really close.

yeah they sound really close!

Yep having children there we have 4 children and my nephews will be at the ceremony and probably a few other children, if they make noise they make noise is it really that much of a big deal??? obviously wouldnt want them running around lol but more the merrier! and to be honest alot of the comments i have read are quiet offensive to those who do have children as your talking about them as there just an inconvinence and im sure if your "friends" read what you had written they wouldnt want to come to your weddings. bridezilla comes to mind. jmo.

I'm not offended and I have a child.

We had a child free wedding (we both work with kids and so wanted a day without them). Our friends weren't offended, they liked the idea of having a night off. We are going to a wedding in a couple of months and my mum is baby sitting. She can't wait to baby sit, N gets a day with his grandma and we are going to have a rare day out just the two of us.

And as for all the comments about children making a wedding, um.. I think the bride and groom do that.

LOL yes can't you tell I love my brother and his kids! By close family I mean siblings, etc. To put it into perspective, I'm not having my uncles, aunts, or any friends of mine coming to the wedding but will still accomodate children because I realise that it's difficult for my family to not have them there for the day.

To be honest noise during the ceremony would really bother me. Is it that much of a big deal? Well the ceremony is the most important bit, on the most important day of my life, to the most important person. If I can't have a bridezilla moment and say 'Actually yes, I would like it to be sans the screaming kids during this bit.', when can I?

Lol

I'm not a fan of kids at weddings, but i have kids.

We had a small wedding, where my 2 sons were 2 of only 4 guests, but if we'd have had a bigger wedding, I would have had it so the only kids there were mine.

I'm not a fan of children at all.

Little activity packs, with colouring books etc, will keep them quiet for a while, but i can't see them keeping the kids entertained for long.

...Did you even read my post before your snarky overraction kicked in? You probably shouldn't bother replying, I wont bother reading it.

Hello! id try not to worry, thats what their parents are there for! lol. I took my two to their godparents wedding last year in a posh hotel and they had party boxes made with toys and colouring in. ofc they can get bored and my youngest who was 1.5 at the time wanted to have a toddle at the back of the room. all the other children were behaved and my eldest just sat down nicely. weddings are a long day for children and giving them a corner of the room where they can sit and do something nice while the adults enjoy their meals/ speeches might help? (puzzles and colouring maybe lego blocks)

We arent having a meal (cant be doing with all the stress lol!) but we are having alot of kids including our 2 we are just keeping it child friendly with inflated balloons on the dance floor for them and sweets and cakes for them to scoff good luck and im sure it will be fine x

Id like to add my sons were invited to the whole thing but i have been to weddings without them aswell. i dont keep them attached to me but i like to include them where appropriate. Everyone has the right to have which guests they want at their wedding children or not there is no right or wrong

We have got 33 children!1 between age of few months to 12! then 15 aged 12 to 15!

Personally i cannot wait! i do believe that children make a wedding i mean not many (if any) of our wedding guests are going to have there faces covered in chocolate na dhave there pic taken or go skidding across the dancefloor during first dance.

Im really looking forward to including all the kids, during the speeches the kids will b asked to come and sit on the dancefloor and each given there favours which has a few bits in to keep them occupied. i know all the kids will be as well behaved through the service as they are on a normal sunday! i am expecting a few hiccups but i know i will see the good side of them!

We have 3 boys who wil 3, 4 and 10!

I can see both sides of this, I'm very fortunate that my children (for the most part) know how they are expected to behave in company regardless of the occasion, but I totally appreciate that it is a long day for them, hence why we are having family garden games and kids gift bags for them and the other family kids to be given before dinner, but I have friends who's kids are the opposite (their not attending my wedding) so I can see why others might be worried.

I guess its best to know the kids you invite, that way you can gauge their entertainment needs, but ultimately they are their parents responsibility.

Love the camera challenge idea, think I'll steal it ........thanks

L x

We only had children over the age of 11 there as we felt at that age, they could cope better with staying quiet and they were brilliant. I wouldn5 have had younger children there as some of the kids I know just don't know how to behave. I also remember the last wedding I went to where the couples two year old daughter had to be taken out for the ceremony by the brides sister as she couldn't cope wih the noise. That's hardly fair on the little girl to put her in that situation and the sister to miss the ceremony because of it.

We are only having 3 children my neice FG who will be 3, nephew PB who will be 2 and my cousin who will be 6. They are not staying for the whole day tho. We've said no children for the evening reception and I'm sure my sister and SIL2B will welcome the opportunity to enjoy themselves without their little ones to worry about. We are lucky that we have people to babysit on the evening. It will be a long day for everyone especially little ones who would only end up asleep in a buggy in the corner.

I had this worry when we got married, we had 30 kids at our wedding of all ages! most of them are all we behaved but a few of them like to run riot , my cousins are very hyper active ,thankfully one of them was my bridesmaid and she was very well behaved on the day! also my mums cousins two boys are a nightmare they are always fighting and actually beating each other up , i had nightmares that they would be doing this though the vows but they was actually very well behaved , In all it was only my youngest that made a noise during the church service but thats because he thought his dad and i looked funny talking to the man at the front!! LOL

For the reception i found a lady on another forum that made personalised girl/boy activity packs so we had them on the tables along with kids lunchboxes ,also we had the speeches first whilst the kids were still interested and quiet. we also said that kids could bring DSs to keep them occupied but to be honest they all sat very well behaved without them.

Im a childminder, I look after 9 children Mon-Fri between the ages of 4months and 8 years, I also have 2 children of my own, I can honestly say I LOVE and ADORE children but think there are some children who you just shouldnt take to weddings. Il have 4 children at our wedding, my 2 who are 5 and 3 and then an 8 yr old and a 5year old, i KNOW that these children are more than capable of sitting quietly during the ceremony and behaving appropriately during the reception. If I thought the children were going to mis-behave then i wouldnt have invited them. x

Make sure you don't give any younger ones keys to play with. That happened at my friends wedding and all you can hear through the service is the sound of keys banging together and banging on the pews. I guess it's better than having the child cry, but try and find something quiet to entertain them with during the service and speeches.

I don't get it when people go on about it's kids that make a wedding. As far as I'm concerned, it's the bride and groom that make a wedding. I have to agree that kids need to learn to sit down and be quiet. Fair enough i wouldn't expect that from a toddler but 3 and up? Yes I woul. That's how I was brought up.

Personally I think it's the parents responsibility to bring in things for their kids to do.

We have 26 children coming to our wedding, can't wait. ?

I only have a few children coming to our wedding, my son, our flowergirl, my goddaughter and our nephew. I can honestly say, the only one I am worried about ruining our day is my nephew, because he doesnt behave, ever, and my SIL doesn't do anything about it. Dreading it, but can't exactly say he can't come as OH's family would go mad. If he doesn't behave during the ceremony though, SIL will be told to take him out. I don't care if she doesn't like it! xx

I am having 6 kids, 2 of them will be just short of 1 so its possible there may be some crying but thats fine. The rest are aged between 3 and 10 (I think) one of the 3 year olds being my own sister so she has to behave or she doesnt get any more presents off her lovely big sister ?

I am having her as a flower girl as well..I think I might put her in a cotton dress with some fake flowers. I dont trust her to walk down the aisle on her own so I will get someone to go with her.

One of the boys is her age but much quieter, then the other 2 are his brothers and all 3 are great.