A rant about weddings

Hi KateyP I don't think i have spoken to you before, I hope you feel better now you got that off your chest, we all need a good rant ?

I know the whole big day thing s not for everyone, hell if we all liked the same it would be really boring,

When and where are you getting married? whats the plan for your day?

Thanks for that - better out than in. At least you have a clear focus and idea of what you want out of your big day.

However, someone/something has clearly crawled up your bum to make you think it should be anything other than YOUR perfect day, so whos upset you?

If you want small, with only close friends and relatives, go small. There's so much pressure around from so many sources to have the big dress, the best band and a massive "celebrity" style wedding. If it's not for you that is absolutely fine - find a teeny venue that you love and can do a wedding for a very small number of people (not sure where you are but had my H not starting producing relatives he "had" to have there I really wanted to use Comlongon Castle in the borders, gorgeous romantic and I think caters for a maximum of 25 people). Do it your way, those who are there will be those dearest to you and will completely understand why you have done it the way you have done it.

Don't get me wrong, you have to be really sure of yourself and stick to your guns in the face of all the "but you have to have x, y z" that you WILL get but if you're strong and really want to you can have a wedding that reflects YOU not what convention dicates.

I was going to read and run....but hey ho...here's a few thoughts. Your wedding has got to be personal to you and suit your personality and taste....so you have to accept that what is one persons meat is another's poison.

Favours don't have to be tacky....in fact I've seen very few that I'd term tacky. Often they are well thought out and a nice memento of the day. I've seen candles and hand made pots (all personailsed for each guest)....and my all time favourite favours ...charity pins for a charity that means a lot to the bride and her family.

Not sure why you think cakes aren't appreciated or eaten. With the option these days of flavours other than fruit cake, they are very popular, especially when served as part of the buffet later in the evening. I've seen several where there wasn't even a crumb left at the end of the night for the DJ!!

Ladies - thank you!

To be honest, nobody is putting pressure on me (erm, us!) to do anything other than what we want. We are both blessed with very laid back families thank god ?

I think it's just everything else. Wedding magazines etc. In fact, yes that's it. And conversations I hear..."ooh they didn't put on a free bar"..."her dress didn't suit her" I'm sure you'll have all overheard similar bitchy conversations.This is why I want my wedding to feel totally different.

Some brides get annoyed when their wedding is referred to as a party, hell, that's exactly what I want mine to be like! Rant over. Thanks for being nice and friendly x

Haha- have you been watching too many episodes of "four weddings"

lol xx

I think your day will be amazing and everyone there wont moan or *** as they'll be true friends x

Haha- have you been watching too many episodes of "four weddings"

lol xx

I think your day will be amazing and everyone there wont moan or *** as they'll be true friends x

Hi Katey!

I know the feeling some of the OH'S friends treat everything as a P*ss up (ChristeningS ETC) lol I dont want the for my wedding either so just having close friends and family 40 ppl during the day then less close friends and family at nite totally understand were u are coming from tho! x

Hey honey this is an aything goes forum as far as im concerned its your wedding so you bloody well have what you want!! and i think what you have indicated you would like out of your big day is perfectly acceptable, especialy the not getting in debt thing we havent taken out any loans to cover our costs we have done it ourselves! i did have a wobble back in march that we would get to the stage we are now and not be able to afford it, so i took out a credit card but am so proud of myself as i havent even been tempted to use it , i did drum it into myself that it was a wedding emergency ONLY thing so hey i can have stern words with myself and listen!!! lol

You go girl and enjoy your planning!! x x

Hey some1 like me, well kind of, im also not really having favours just having fairy cakes for my cake and giving these has favours at the end of the night, i will be inviting quite a few people only due to me havin more friends then family and my OH havin a large family and loads of friends, but we will also just be hiring a local hall with a huge field outside and throwing a "PARTY" well enjoy your wedding planning. x

Dont blame you!! its your day!! have what ever you want!!!

P xx

I'm actually with you on most points... I can't stand the "that's usually the way it's done". Yes there will be some traditional things at my wedding, because I like some of them, but I am not conventional and know some people will leave our wedding feeling "it wasn't very weddingy at times". Well sod them all lol.

Lol you know, the first time (we attempted once before we actually did the deed) - I was into the magazines, hitched, the cake books - the whole shebang. We didn't go through with it for various reasons. Second time apart from watching 4 weddings (car crash tv!) we did it our way...

Marquees in the garden put up by us (and they looked seriously pro), cake made by a friend (who was far more stressed about the colour of the cup cakes than we were), lamb spit roast with an M&S evening buffet because thats what we could afford AND loved.

Guest wise we had 34 ppl that played a part in our lives all day and then another 30ish for the evening - that bought some hard decisions but I stand by them.

We had the best day we could have wished and it was very 'us'. In my opionon all weddings are special and lovely but ours was personal and a lot of fun - thats what we planned for and thats what we got.

It got a bit more expensive that we planned (nothing stupid) but then me and MOH had designer dresses (not planned just what looked the best) but was paid off the month after the wedding.

O and favours? Didn't bother. We had a free bar and fed ppl and considered that favour enough. although insterestingly not many got drunk - we ended up with hordes of booze.

So in summary - do it your way and being on hitched dosen't mean you have to conform to anything.

PS. Funny note - I was running around the house doing stuff until 1/2 hour before we needed to leave when it was pointed out I really should shower and get dressed. So I ran upstairs quickly showered and ended up flashing the best man - thinking it was my OH!

I read the first line and saw your photo and had a chuckle!!

I have to say I totally agree with you! we agreed that we wanted a very intamate ceremony and when we went to a family party recently my H2B decided he wanted to invite his cousin who he was best mated with when he was 11 but hasnt seen since, and is now married with 3 kids! we did start to losse control a bit but managed to ground ourselves again and remind ourselves that we want to get married in front of close friend and family and have a good old fashioned knees up!

just to warn you that you may get a little carried away with the planning but if you and your H2B sit down and remind each other every now and again of your original plans, then hopefully you will stay grounded!

P.S. we arent invitinting anyone that the both of us havent already met before, we have decided against favours (went to a wedding recently that didnt have any and no one even noticed!) we are having baked cheesecake as our cake and we are refusing to use credit cards or loans!!

I was exactly the same! Spending lots of money on one day was crazy!

Think about what you want and what's important to you and go with that. Don't want favours? Don't have them (I didn't for the same reasons). We served our cake instead of dessert for the same reasons you mention - otherwise it doesn't get eaten.

Have what you want, not because everyone has it. To me, weddings become a bit like "keeping up with the jones'". There are things peole do becuase everyone does them. Do what YOU want cos YOU want to! ?

Good luck!!

At the end of the day your wedding day is what you make it so u only have the things that matter to you

my wedding was a smallish affair and i have to say we were really particluar with who we invited all day and i have to say it worked we only had 50 people and they were all our closest people and everyone had a fab day then in the eveing we invited all the rest and it worked

so just do what you feel comfortable with and dont worry about not inviting cirtain people they soon get over it xxx

AHA!!!!!!

Sorry I love a bit of Alan Partridge! I have to say I am in agreement with you we are going away for a few days taking 15 people with us to have a relaxed, intimate unweddingy wedding on a beach in Scotland with home cooked food and us all sat around a big table talking and hopefully laughing, looking out on some beautiful scenery and I wouldn't want it any other way. Stick to your guns and have the wedding you want, anyone who cares about you will be happy as long as it is what you want x

Wow - your wedding sounds like absolute bliss! Best of luck, sounds really nice!

I want to get a farmhouse in Mallorca, have a BBBQ, tapas and lots of wine and cava. And then the next day, we all take our hangovers to the beach for a picnic and some San Miguel from a local Spar!

Sorry, only just noticed the other replies - thank you!!

It's great to know there are more people out there like me, and your replies have been lovely to read. I especially love the garden wedding x

Sounds great, so much more enjoyable being able to relax on your day and not worry about what 100's of other people think, you should go for it and you have the added bonus of sunshine so I will be officially jealous ?