A WWYD - and sorry for going anon.

I think if it were me, I'd leave well alone...especially since there appears to be no direct evidence of fraud and it really has nothing to do with you - it could backfire massively.

I'm sorry I think you are making massive assumptions about their lifestyle why would you jump to the conclusion that there is something amiss I dont understand.

Honestly, I don't think it's any of your business. If he is on the fiddle he would likely be found out anyway. Just think of the problems it would cause between you and your family member should you go further with your suspicions.

I'm really not getting what the issue is here. How could you possibly know (and why should you) what income they have or don't have.

Its absolutely none of your business is it?

I'd stay well out of it - for all you know they could have won the lottery/inherited money/be up to their eyeballs in credit card debt - you've seemingly no casue at all to suspect anything illicit. Smacks of jealousy more than anything else to me.

I would hardly class that as friviously living .

Even if they are in debt up to their eyeballs, it's none of your business

There could be lots of reasons for this - my neighbours for example, have 2 new cars, hols, good lifestyle etc but only eat Basics / Value food which helps fund this.

So, the general consensus is...it's none of my business!

Agreed.

Thank you all!

I can see why you're jumping to these conclusions but the trouble is you really don't know enough about their financial circumstances to be able to comment properly or to raise any concerns. It could be that theyve had an insurance or savings scheme mature, or extended their mortage or inherited some money? They may have won some on the lottery/horse race/premium bonds? The things is you just don't know so unless you have some way of getting concrete evidence I really would keep well out of it.

Sorry to sound harsh but I really don't think its anything to do with you. There is a number of reasons why they could have this money and even if they had been committing fraud what would you do? I'd stay well out of it as like WL said it will only cause upset in the family.

I'd keep my beak out. I know some friends have made comments about our hols or car or whatever as we live in a small house; it's none of their business where we get our money from. It's all above board though!

It's absolutely no business of yours! They could have had a windfall, inherited money, borrowed etc. I can't see why you would jump to thinking of fraud and why you could possibly think of "raising a concern". Get on with your own life.

So she is on 19k and you don't know his salary. How many years has he been in the service? He could be on about 30k if he's been there 15 years. I'd say that was enough to fund that lifestyle and more if they are careful with their money in other places.

ETA my friend is an admin assistant in the Civil service and her Husband works in a food factory. They have a house in cyprus (bought 2 years ago) and also have 2 cars. I think they decorated in the last year too ?. I'm a bit shocked that you are accusing him of being dodgy TBH

I'd stay well out of it, if I were you especially as you have no evidence at all.

What everyone else says. It sounds plausible, you have no idea of their income, they may well be up to their eyeballs in debt, and I would keep out of it! I do think it's pretty roood, and I would hope that if we got a new sofa, people wouldn't be wondering what we were up to in order to fund it.... ?

Right.. so because you dont know his salary and he works as a prison officer he must be doing something dodgy (sounds like you've been watching too much bad girls!!)

not sure why any of this is your business/your problem?

Why don't you either stick to rustling your net curtains. or offer to babysit and have a good old root through their paperwork. it may be a bit embarrassing if you're caught, but you could always explain that you felt they may be up to no good and you were just putting your mind at rest. i'm sure they would understand.

Clearly I am the only one in my camp but...

...I would be concerned. A quiet (anon) word with HMP and they will be able to see his bank statements to see what is going on..He would be non the wiser if nothing comes of it.

If it is nothing, then nothing lost. Your perception of events is important here - you believe they are living beyond their means.

I would snake in an anon way

But why?

I simply don't get this attitude at all. Its none of her business and from what is in the OP, he is doing absolutely nothing to make anyone suspicious.

<shakes head in disbelief>

Another one with no life of his own.

A lot of the population has been living beyond their means for years - they must all be taking backhanders somewhere, that is obviously the only way these people can be buying things FFS.

Mr Lurker, can't quote just now......but do you think it's OK for the poor guy to have his career risked just because someone has a bit of the green eyed monster? Imagine having your employer go through your bank statements etc.

You have no idea what sacrifices they make to have the nice things in life. I don't spend a fraction of what my best friend does on clothes and looking good (hair, nails etc...) but I tell you what, I make up for it with the type of holidays we have.

I can't think why, in a million years, you would think someone was committing fraud because they had what you deemed to be a comfortable lifestyle. How bitter would you need to be to think that way?

Mr Lurker Shirker, you say no harm done if they've nothing to hide, but why on earth would you potentially cause that much upset and trouble for someone (especially at work) with absolutely NO evidence whatsoever apart from your own nosiness. It's the same as assuming everyone guilty of something unless they prove otherwise, it's utterly ridiculous.

I know, OP, that you have said you're not going to do anything, but I'm gobsmacked that it would even occur to you. They're both working with relatively good incomes, it's not like they're sitting on their arses fraudulently claiming benefits and living the life of riley. Berlimey.

Shocked, of Norf Issix.

Why is the OP's perception of events important? What makes her "believe" they are living beyond their means? And what the hell has it got to do with her anyway?

I don't understand people like you and the OP actually. It's not like this is suspected crime of some horrible nature, it's just a hunch by the OP that they don't earn as much as she thinks their lifestyle warrants. It's sticking your nose into some innocent's business, adding 2 and 2 and getting 5.

Seriously, as someone else said (Meep?), get on with your own life.

I'm curious why you went anon, anoniemouse. Did you expect this reaction?

Absolutely none of your business.

I completely agree with you. I always assumed that neighbours/friends/family etc could come up with this idea of people on benefits if they appeared to be living it up a bit. It's unbelievable that now 2 people with decent incomes are being scrutinised by jealous, nosey curtain twitchers. With friends and family like these two, Heaven help them.

Didn't the OP say they were living on £19k pa and supporting 3 adults, and kids from a couple of marriages? In the OPs opinion, they were living way beyond their means.

I agree with the flamer who said they had a shed load of CC debt - I probably agree with 99% certainity that that is the case

I don't know but I'm sure regulated industries such as banking, Police and Prisons will have depts which perform discrete checks and nobody is any the wiser? Tell me I'm being nieve here?!

If the boot was on my foot - I like to think I would do the right thing and disclose my worries

No, she said his partner earned 19k and she didn't know what his salary was. His salary could be a squillion pounds a year for all they know.

The right thing to do, with no evidence whatsoever to think he is committing fraud, is to keep the sticky beak out of other people's business.

No, ONE of the salaries was £19k, she didn't know what she other one was (why the hell should she???) and the other adult still had money from the sale of her house some years before.

So what if they are living beyond their means? Why is it anything to do with you? How would you like someone judging if you could afford to have or afford to do things you do? They probably work pretty damned hard to have what they have and would be horrifed that some jealous, twisted, nosey ignoramuses where jumping to conclusions like this!

I never normally react to posts on Hitched but the OPs and Mr shirky licker posts have really riled me.

Edited to add that I got the 2nd posters name wrong, it sort of sounded right

<aside> I'm now being offered "sofa's" (sic) in the targetted Google ads. How not to get Hitchers to buy your furniture? ? <aside>

I have absolutely no idea how much my brother earns, let alone my 'extended family'. It's none of my business anyway.

I would probably take back what I said then - If they both have jobs then it doesn't sound like they are particularly flashing it around

Meep - I might have to change my name to Mr shirky licker!

It does have a certain ......something ?

I think people are being unfair to the OP. She asked for advice, got it, and is going to act on it.