Absolutely in shock... ** UPDATE PAGE 7**

Just wanted to say that I am thinking of you hun. This is a such a horrible situation for you to be in.

I really think you need to confront your partner face to face. Like others side, you may be able to judge if he is lying/telling the truth.

I really hope it all turns out okay for you. ?

x

Aw I really feel for you!. The feeling you get in the pit of your stomach is awful. It doesn't matter what anybody says you cant help the way you feel. I would sit down with your OH tonight and ask some serious questions. Chances are like everybody says it could quite easily be a wrong number or just jealousy! You will know by his face though if hes lying or telling the truth. If your anything like me you can spot a lie a mile off! I really really hope it all turns out well for you though and its all a mis understanding xxxxxxxx

KBS are you ok?

I wouldn't wait for your phone provider to call you back, you'll make yourself ill worrying until they do. I totally agree with what others have said about telling him about the call and how it has upset you rather than asking him straight out if it's true.

We're here for you whenever you need to talk.

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No, not really..

Now Ive started crying, I cant seem to stop

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? Have a hug KBS, I wish we could make it better!

Been thinking about this hun, and the more I do the more it sounds like someone trying to be malicious. If your OH really was having an affair, where would the woman's husband get YOUR number from? How would he know anything about you?? Why wouldn't he ring your OH? If something really was happening, wouldn't they go into more depth about it? This person hung up before you could get a word in edgeways. It all just sounds like nonesense to me, like someone trying to do their very best to ruin things for you.

Easier said then done, but don't let it tarnish what you and your OH have. Ask your OH about it tonight, explain how upset it made you, and then try to draw a line under it. And report it to the police - it's harrassment and it's against the law.

Aww honey! If it was me I would be demanding H2B come home NOW and sort it out. If you hadn't had doubts about him before this AND you are a woman who has been cheated on before (like me) then I think its very unlikely that there is any weight in it. But he needs to be putting your mind at rest and you deserve that much! xxx

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WSS

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So sorry to hear this KBS, i can only echo what everyone else has said and talk to your H2B face to face.

I hope everything works out ok xx

I feel for you KBS - this is an awful phone call to receive.

Just wanted to share two stories - as I have 2 experiences of this.

Once was a man showing up at my ex's-parents house, belting on the door telling us that my then finance was sleeping with his wife. I already knew this, OK, i'd not achkowleged it, nor had I left but I wasn't stupid - the signs were all there. I only saw him for 3 days a weekend (at his parents) and still, I was already preparing to leave.

It also happened to a family member - I can't go into it much but it was a much more serious threat which involved a death threat and police. Weeks later, it was found to be a jealous ex.

If I were again in this situation I would have ignored it until face to face with my partner - you can tell so much from looking into someone eyes - you can see hurt, panic, pain and lies. However given you can't do this I would wait and sit down with your partner. If you think he is 100% faithful and you don't need to question him on that then you need to understand who could do this and why to stop it - so you need to sit and think.

I think it is perfectly fine in a trusting relationship to lay the cards on the table too - as you said this was not someone getting the wrong number so if you have questions you need answering then you must be honest and keep laying them down until you are satisfied enough you have an answer.

I would be interested in knowing more about the tone of the person - were there tears/anger/frustration/shouting or very factual and well spoken? It sounds like the latter which obviously rings bells for me - if you were taking that action re: your cheating spouse you would be gutted/angry/hurt. That said, no one on here can make this happen for you and I truely believe gut instinct plays a lot too - so take time to think, logically.

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If it's someone she knows or a 'friend of a friend' then getting her number wouldn't be a problem.

So sorry to hear this KBS, it really sucks. Did you recognise the voice at all?

Hopefully you can get hold of their number via the police and get to the bottom of it x

OMG K, how awful!!

Is there anyone you can think of that would do something like this just to upset you?

That's really horrible I hope you're ok! I didn't want to read and run but just wanted to echo what the others have said and advise you to speak to your OH face to face. Also wanted to add that a friend of mine had a random nasty caller in the middle of the night about two weeks ago apparently after investigation from the phone company and police it was just some weirdo who had rang about 40-50 people over the course of the weekend some with pre- recorded messages others in person so to speak with a bit of detail about them (which is presumed he retrieved from social networks like facebook etc) after she told us all about it on facebook it seems she wasn't alone and it's quite a common thing at the moment across the country. I know this doesn't mean that is what happened to you but it just shows there are some really malicious and twisted people in this world who just thrive on seeing people suffer. Don't jump to any conclusions just yet xxx big hugs xxx

Hope you're ok KBS. I know you've had a wobble before, and that turned out to be nothing, so this will too. Just talk to your OH when you get home and have a think together who it might be

How awful, I really feel for you. I dont think I can add anything that hasnt already been said but felt too bad to read and run. Hopefully your OH will be home soon (his urgency in coming home to you to sort it out may start helping you get a feeling for this?) and face to face you can work this thing out. Weirdy hugs ?

I'm not sure I can add anything, but like others, I didn't want to read and run. You really must talk to him face to face. I really hope it is just some nasty person who is trying to spoil your happiness. Hopefully the company can chase the number and get the police involved. Good luck and sending big hugs.

God, how awful for you. I can only echo what others have said, and I would definitely involve the police, at least get it put on record for future reference (if needs be). *hugs*

Sending bigs hugs your way KBS!

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I really hope you get this sorted out, I would be going out of my mind if I were you. I really hope you get this sorted out xxxxxx

You poor thing I would be in tears too what a bolt out of the blue.

I am sure it is just someone being malicious but I probably would have waited until he came home as, his face would have told you everything you needed to know. He now has the rest of the day to be quite rightly raging that someone has done this to you both or have plenty of time to put a story together. Has OH called you back to make sure you are okay? Have you had any falling out with anyone recently or has he had problems at work? He may have had to call someone work related several times and a jealous partner has seen the number and got it all wrong.

I do hope you get to the bottom of it and can both overcome this.

I don't want to read and run but this just doesn't ring true. Look at it from the douchebag callers point of view - If some bird was sniffing round my OH I'd be ringing her, not picking a random to ask if they knew her, before reading the riot act and hanging up. If the random I dialled turned out to be her fiance I'd think RESULT! then I'd say who I was and present the evidence, specially if I'd accidentally got the added bonus of wrecking her relationship in the same way i think she is wrecking mine! In four years of being together I have been messaged on Facebook saying I'm cheating on OH, and a year later got another message saying he is cheating on me - both times I replied (to the originally named Ura Liar - lol!) asking to meet/giving mobile number so that they can give their evidence/proof so that I/he could be dumped and of course it never happened. I know you can't do this in your case but its just reassurance that some weirdos go around doing this kind of thing - sad but true so don't assume the worst yet. If its a genuine 'tell him to back off' call, it has to be some insecure jealous nut who probably saw his wife thank your OH for holding the door open at the paper shop or something ridiculously innocent. With the way new facebook isn't that private now, it would not take much for him to track someone down - by asking a shop keeper his name, or by a works van especially if your OH has his name/adverts etc around town - which is likely if he advertises his own business. As an aside - this is a true story, my 5ft, 52 yr old female friend asked a random man if he'd kindly reach to get a tin of tuna off the top shelf in Sainsburys for her the other week and his wife went MAD - these insecure types have no grip on reality. I think douchey is way off the mark, or its defo a wrong number but that said just keep yourself on a heightened sense of alert and try not to panic. Its frightening and I know I'd be shaken, just watch OH carefully and trust your instincts. (I think noting time and date, notifying the police if you get another call is good - plus how your OH reacts to police involvement may be useful to observe. If he's innocent he will back you, if he was cheating with this guys wife, he'll know the police will get the bottom of it and would be reluctant to have them involved *I guess*) I never (1st in fact) post on here, but I wanted to reassure you as this just doesn't seem that sincere/true and I agree with previous posters. Stay calm and alert and know you've got a massive support network here xxx

Whoever it is isnt a very good detective as they would get the cheaters number and call him not you (unless he's called him already). I think its someone being malicious and I hope for your sake that it is a mistake. Check your OH's reactions when he comes home. That should tell you everything you need to know.

Good luck and lots of hugs x

Omg KBS you poor love, how awful. didnt want to read and run, but agree with what everyone is saying. i do hope it all works out for in the end. your OH could be totally innocent and there has been some misunderstanding somewhere.

(((((((big hugs ))))))☹️

Karina xx

Nothing to add but didn't want to read and run. Keeping my fingers crossed that it all works out ok. xx

Didnt want to read and run just echo what everyone else has said to you really! Sending you big hugs!

I think you would have a feeling if he was doing something deep down I knew when my ex was I just didnt acknowledge it until I caught him at it!

I know that if the police do find out who it is they wont be able to tell you however they will deal with it for you. However unfortuntely unless it is 2 occasions it doesnt constitute as harassment but they can warn the person but if it happened again they can officially warn them getting them to sign paper work to that effect and then if it happened a 3rd time they are liable for arrest. This is what happens in area im from anyways but I know for definate in law its 2 occasions which constitutes harassment. Defo inform police though!

I hope it is just some jealous idiot rather than anything else - talk to your oh im sure when you do so face to face you will know

xxx

Oh my lord im so sorry, like everyone else has said you need to speak to him face to face, ive had 2 sort of similar things happen, the first some girl emailed me to say that id been seeing her fella she had seen the texts etc, i hadnt seen said fella for months and i credit myself with a bit more taste turns out she had gone through his facebook friends knew the girl was called katie and messaged every katie on there! And then someone text me to say my OH had been cheating when he went to the gym, again turned out to just be someone with a screw loose. I really hope everything turns out ok for you xxxx

Didn't want to read and run eithre, just wanted to send you an internet weirdie hug ? and let you know we are all here, whatever the outcome. Xxx

I couldn't read and run.

IMO I think it's a jealous partner who doesn't like his wife talking to /breathing the same air as/☹️☹️ another male. But like what everyone else says, you've got to speak to your OH face to face about it.

If I'd had a call like this and then rung OH to tell him about it, I know he would have left work to come home and discuss it asap.

I feel sorry for you being put in this situation.

Oh crap, what a shock

I've been in this sort of situation, about 5 years ago I was with someone who I *thought* was cheating.. I waited til he got home and spoke to him about it. When you've known/lived with someone for so long, you can read them like a book. I found out that the thought of cheating was there although he swore he never actually did anything but that was enough, the trust had gone so I left him that day. Only you know your OH like that KBS, so it's your call but use your qualifications to read him.

I don't blame you for having doubts as anyone would in your shoes especially as your relationship has been quite rocky recently with the wedding being on and off a few times but I hope you manage to find some answers as having this going round your head wont be nice, I've been there in my first 'proper' relationship, wondering what the OH is upto when you're at work, away for the weekend etc. When the trust is gone it's hard to think rationally and sanely. I can't help but wonder if the sleeping in seperate beds thing could be an issue though, was it a mutual decision? Golf has gotta be worse for a bad back than sharing a bed with someone.

Hope you sort it out soon.

Didnt want to read and run. Hope things work out x

Bumblebrat has spoken (typed?) a lot of sense there!!1 I don't know you but I've been bothering about you since I got home hoping everything is okay and I bet most people reading this feel the same! Update us when you can, meanwhile all we can do is send virtual hugs and hopes!!!

Can't really add much to what others have said. I hope you are ok and I hope you get to speak to your OH properly very soon x