Adoption rejection - *BT*

No advice,sorry...but it seems ridiculous when people can have children with no child experience. Hope someone comes along soon with advice.

Also, you may want to pop 'BT' in the thread title.

My understanding is that its very commom for adoption agencies to want potential parents to have some experience with children, but I dont know how common it is to expect them to do voluntary work. It might be worth talking to other agencies to see if they have the same expectations.

I don't get why they want you to do that either. Birth parents very often have absolutely no experience, so it doesn't seem fair really.

I guess volunteering in local nurseries, asking local baby and toddler groups if you can come along, that type of thing might help. I'm a youth worker with older kids, which is challenging, but rewarding. Maybe look into doing something like that.

You'd think, as there are so many children desperate for a loving, stable home, that they would make it easier.

I wish you luck, adoption is awesome (although sometimes challenging). It's worth it though.

x

No experience of adoption but some experience of social services child safeguarding, and to an extent I can understand it. It's all about managing risk - they have responsibility for this child and they have to KNOW that people they are handing the child over to are up to the task, especially when it's children who will have inevitably have gone through some kind of trauma and unsettlement to end up in social service's care in the first place. Failure (the placement not working out/the child ending up back in care) is not an option. And to be fair on them they're not saying a definitive no, they're asking you to do something that they feel will move the process forward.

Anyone can have a child, but if you were going to hand your baby over to a babysitter or childminder you wouldn't want it to be any random person off the street who says "sure, I can look after kids". It's the same principle.

Although I can completely appreciate that it's frustrating, my understanding of those who have adopted is that social workers will make all sorts of demands that you might think are a bit extreme, but you just have to do it to move the process forward.

I am afraid I know nothing about the adoption process but as for volunteering opportunities what about looking at local Scout or Guide groups?

You can get experience with a wide age range and family histories.

I have been a cub leader for over 10 years, despite having no kids of my own and it is a myth that you need to be outdoorsy and be like Bear Grylls.

Gracey - which LA are you applying to?

Do you have contact with any children? through work? Or babysitting for nieces, nephews, friend's children? Are you willing to go on parenting courses? If so, I'd make it all known to your assessing SW. It sounds like they can see potential in you both but you just need that little bit extra to get you through panel...

As someone else said, do-it.org is a fantastic website to find volunteer opportunities in your area. Sure start centres love having volunteers too

My fingers are crossed for you, it's a long process but by being positive and following the recommendations of the assessing SW it really will show just how committed you both are to this!

Gracey

I have no explanation either but some of the other replies make sense.

Speaking from experience, the only 2 questions we were asked when we started on the adoption journey were: (1) do you smoke and (2) have you got a spare bedroom.

Our adoption journey was emotional and had some highs and some god awful lows but the icing on the cake was when we brought our handsome little man home forever on Tuesday. It feels like he has always been with us.

I don't have personal experience, but 2 colleagues have. Both had to get experience with children before starting the process (North West England). So seems standard in our area, although ridiculous.