Am I being a Bridezilla?!!

No - if anyone wore a floaty white dress to my wedding, they wouldn't be there for very long....!

Ooof that is a HUGE faux pas on her part. I'd be quite cross too BUT on the actual day, the only person looking silly will be her. At best, people will raise an eyebrow at her perceived attempt to steal the bride's thunder. Most likely she'll be completely ignored and people will be very busy telling you how fabulous you look.

I have a similar situation too... not the Best Man's other half but a very good friend of mine who tends to like being the centre of attention and always pulls rank when we're going out - in terms of she'll say she is wearing such and such so that I cant then wear it etc.

Anyway, got a text saying she'd found two dresses for the wedding (as a guest only) and couldnt decide which one... when i asked what they were like the reply was 'one is white and one is nude - both are fully lacy'.... ARGH!! I replied that seeing as my dress was also pale ivory and lacy, that as the bride, I'd prefer her not to wear either but that it was her choice - and i also said I would never do that to another bride if i were a guest as it is considered extremely rude. She hasnt told me the outcome but i will be extremely pee'd off on the day if she turns up in a white lacy dress. Her reason for wearing said colour? 'it shows my tan off nicely'... ARGH again!!

What kind of relationship do you have with her? Is it possible she saiid it as a joke or to wind you up?

There's not a lot you can do about it if she insists on wearing it, however, I guarantee that she will be the one who looks foolish

Large glass of merlot and an accident spring to mind!

Thanks ☹️

I'm really not very good at these sorts of things. I'm someone that would let someone do what they wanted regardless of how I feel however I think this is something I can't let go!!

I've though about asking her what she's wearing and if she says that dress I'll just say something like 'oh, I thought you were joking??'

? Love it

1. Short white dress accessorised with a lot of colour, fine. Long floaty white dress, not fine.

2. She's a wife, therefore she has had a wedding - can she remember how she might have felt?

3. She will not be centre of attention, she will be a target for both sympathy, mickey-taking and that glass of merlot...

WSS - haha!! If ONLY i were brave enough to do this too!!

Great tactic. "I know we were chatting the other day about what you were wearing so, seriously, what are you wearing? You'll stress me out with this joking about white dresses".

LOL! My H2B is staying with them the night before and he said if she wears it he will have to have a little accident with a cup of coffee!!! ?

Excellent summary FTLOMB, couldn't have put it better myself!

To OP welcome to hitched and I think you have to say something. And if you don't feel comfortable could you ask her husband or your H2B so say something?

Briliant!!

Not bridezilla at all I'd be well pissed!!!!

Our best mans fiance has said she's going to wear her bridesmaids dress from a recent wedding which I am not happy about at all. It's a purple/blue colour (mine are purple) and floor length so she will look quite bridesmaidy, not sure how to go about it. When she mentioned it I just didnt really say anything!

AAaarrrggghhh!

What is with these people?!!

ITS OUR DAY!!!!! SOD OFF AND GET YOUR OWN!!! LOL

? ? ? ?

I think you can deal with this either by using the approach of pretending to assume that she was joking or seeing if there is a mutual friend to firmly put her in her place.

My CBM is terrifying and has already had 'words' with one notorious attention seeker that she will 'decorate' her with a glass of red wine if she does indeed to wear the white dress she threatened to!

If all else fails though and she does rock up on the day in the white floaty number, she will just be the butt of everyone's jokes for the whole day as the saddo who was too dumb to not respect that you don't wear white/cream to a wedding!

Either it's a wind up...which it could be or you need to make it clear in no unertain terms that she isn't to wear white on your wedding day.

If she thinks you are being unreasonable tell her to ask everyone she knows who will confirm to her it's in bad taste.

I do think its a bit off. I would refrain from wearing white to a weading. I wore cream to someones wedding once, with a black bow on it - black shoes, black bag etc...then when the BM's rocked up theyr were all in ivory. I felt terrible!

My MIL wants to wear a cream dress with gold patterns on it, its a floor length dress with a little train on it! I duno how i feel about it!!

That's so rude! I had a family member turn up to my wedding in an ivory dress and the first thing she actually said to me was 'I hope nobody mistakes me for the bride!'. I responded with a nasty comment which I felt was well deserved! If I were you, i'd definitely let the person know that you would rather she didn't wear a white flowing dress. Just tell her you are concerned that your guests will take the mickey or something along those lines. I can't stand such self-centred women, it seems that every wedding I have been to, there has been at least one of them there!

Oh, and if she does wear it, nobody will really care as it is you they will be watching!

The 'accident' with the wine was my initial thought too!

If you talk to her about it and she is adamant she wants to wear it, maybe you could make up something to try to put her off, if she loves being the centre of attention then any story you can come up with which might make her feel like she'll look ridiculous should make her think twice surely!

Something along the lines of " I went to a wedding the other year/once/when I was younger etc and I wore a long white dress, didn't really think anything of it, it was a lovely summer's day etc etc. When I got there I noticed people whispering about me, not in a good way, and all day I just felt so uncomfortable. I really don't want you to feel like that, I'd rather you had a fabulous day because of course it's important for you to be there to support [insert BM's name]"

I think this is a great way to handle it. You can handle it without being harsh but also showing that you wont be happy if she wears a white dress

To be honest I thought ANY white dress on someones wedding day was considered extremely bad form.

Only the bride should wear white (or ivory or whatever but you know what I mean!).

I went to a wedding last year and the TOG was a lady and wearing a white dress!!! I was only a guest but couldn't believe it! She of all people should understand that weddings are FULL of etiquette and it is a HUGE no-no to wear white to a wedding!

I am with the others with the glass of merlot. TBH I would ban her if it was me! Can't you speak to the 'best man' and get him to put a leash on his wife?

xxx

LOL!!! My mums skirt has a small train but its a light purple! WTF

To the OP - you are not being bridzilla, she is being a knob. You do NOT wear a white floaty dress to someones wedding - its just WRONG.

Do you have her number? I would text her & say 'you know they way you said you were wearing a long white dress to my wedding? Im just wondering...you were joking, right? You know its bad manners to wear an all white long dress to someone elses wedding? I dont want you to look stupid / be ridiculed on the day....'

And leave her to stew! If she wears it shes only making a total a** of herself.

Welcome to Hitched! I think you should talk to her and go with the "thought you were joking" thing. I've been to a wedding where someone has worn white, BUT it was a short, fitted dress with pink accessories and there's no way she looked bridal, so that was fine. A long floaty white dress sounds a bit too bridal to me. If she still wears it after you've spoken to her, then no doubt your other guests will make it clear it's a faux pas.

Dammit! I was hoping that this thread would be one of those 'Am I Being a Bridezilla' where we all turn around and say ''yes, you are''...

I would get my BM to kick the arse* of anyone who turned up wearing a long white floaty dress to my wedding.

Tell your H2B, to tell the best man that it wouldn't be advisable for her to wear that dress.

*Verbally, not physically..

I've only ever been to weddings as either bridesmaid or bride (not been to many!) but I'd never consider turning up wearing anything even vaguely bridal to someone else's big day - so so wrong!! A white dress could only be acceptable if accessorised so that it was clear they weren't part of the bridal party, and with more and more BM dresses being bought from high street stores I think I'd be doing my best to find out the colour scheme so I could avoid looking like I was one of them too!

LOL exactly WSS!! :-)

Id tell her if she turns up in a white dress she will be asked to leave! i had the same with MIL but she changed it, infact if shes trying to steal your day id promptly UNinvite her!!

Id tell her if she wears white she will be asked to go home and change! thats ridiculous! xxx

Wowsers that is an appalling lack of manners and consideration on her part (to put it *very*politely). I wouldn't tolerate it either, on the day itself I can't imagine that I'd be too put out for having a good time, but I'd like to think that the other guests would make her feel suitably ridiculous!

Like the idea of talking to her about it saying you thought she was joking - That'll make her feel stupid, but you won't look like you're being unreasonable about it. And if that doesn't work, definitely a large glass of red ?

I tried on a lovely dress in Coast recently whilst shopping for a dress to wear to a wedding, coffee coloured and floaty, but with a white panel down the front, but dismissed it as a bit too bridal and with a slight potential to cause offence. Really don't get why everyone wouldn't think that way unless they were purposefully being a cow-bag.