Am I being unreasonable?

Me too * tip toes out and shuts the door*

*Follows behind, locks the door*

You may be surprised by your Mums reaction. I had to have a talk with my mum about something and fretted about it for days. When I spoke with her she was fine and didn't react in the way I expected at all

SURELY you can just say you really really want your wedding at X you are so excited about it. TEll her thanks for enquiring elsewhere its not the money its that you have fallen in love with getting married at X venue and would be sad if it weren't there? If she says she wants to spend more money find something else for her to spend money on!! Honeymoon?

Me too, I'm beginning to think the op is too.

Does your h2b not have an opinion regarding all this or is he still not getting involved in his own wedding?

How utterly ridiculous!! I am completely and utterly confused by what is going on.

Joanna, may I ask how old you are?

No freakin' way. I wrote this two mins ago and then deleted on the premise that I might have been making assumptions....

I needed to ask as this doesnt sound like something a grown woman would be "stressing" out about. If it were I would wait until I could afford the wedding I wanted. Joanna says she waited 8 years for the proposal so another two years of waiting while you save shouldnt be a problem?

I'm 27.

i have found this forum having a certain vibe that i want to avoid, however, so i think i'll just find a different one where people have some sense of decorum. (not all, but some)

?

Honesty?

I think you need to sort your priorities tbh. You say you struggle to pay the bills and yet you will allow your mother to spend thousands and thousands of pounds on a wedding for you and then moan about it not being what you want.

Yep, I think the OP is one of these people that creates problems in their mind just so they have something to moan about...

Have skim-read this and am rather confused.

If you put yourself out there and ask 'Am I being unreasonable?' you have to be open to the chance people may, in whatever form they wish, say 'yes'. You cannot then throw a strop when people think you are, in fact, being unreasonable.

or maybe you can..

Was just thinking this myself! Really don't think anyone was trying to be nasty, think there's a slight over-sensitivity problem here ?

TBH you have started a lot of threads recently and most of them don't seem to make any sense. Without seeming rude, you seem to have a problem EVERYDAY and you get a lot of reaction from people because of the things you post or how you write them.

Maybe just calm down a little bit and think about a wedding that you and your other half want and take it step by step.

Exactly This. You shouldn't post on here asking if you are being unreasonable and then be upset if we say something you don't like. The best thing about Hitched is that we are all honest, I would much rather have this than some of the fluffy stuff on other forums where people agree with you for fear of upsetting you.

Speak to your mum and tell her what you feel, I am sure she would rather you did!

Do you know what I'd do?

I'd just think screw it and not get married.

Well actually, I would, but in a register office with 2 best mates, because then I'd end up married for not-very-much-money. But you can't do that so fair enough.

I'm confused by this whole thing. Get married in your church, let your mum pay for it and have the reception that you want. Stop fretting.

Except that, based on her original post, people didn't think she was being unreasonable for being put out at her mother's interference. The issue came when she started to alter her position, provide more information at odds with the original post but ignore the questions or bits of advice that might actually help her resolve the situation.

That leads to frustration, confusion or just indifference by the people taking time out of their day to try to help someone who's asking for help.

EWSS!

OP, do you write on Hitched from your phone? You write differently in your blogs than you do on here....

You will find forums where all posters are fluffy and tell you everything is wonderful and lovely when it's clearly not.

Hitched does have a "certain vibe" as you put it, but in many cases when people challenge you about things that don't make sense, or add up, and you sit down and think about them you can often see that actually you were wrong in the first place.

Having recently got married, and come through the other side of all the planning, I can add my voice to those that say that we stress so much about things that really don't actually matter.

Ditto. Also I am no doubt being pedantic and premenstrual but I don't regard my civil ceremony wedding to be a blessing. It will be every bit as special as anyone elses. Certainly not 'anything less'.

There's a difference between "can't" and "won't" - fair enough if the OP will only accept getting married in her family church, but it's still not the only option available. It's a choice.

I think often we put too much emphasis on the wedding and forget about the marriage.

Blogs??

WSS?

true, my bad. Skim read so maybe didn't get the early jist of things.

I think there's a way to accept advice, or not as the case may be, and i think this is at at odds with what most people expect

Ooohh it's been a while since we've had a 7 pager...

... and I'm not the cause of it either

The OP used to have her blog address as her signature...

Nope. I like you lot more since you got married AJ.?

Nope, but she posts a bit like you in terms of picking and choosing who to respond to depending on whether she likes their point or not! ?

OP please tell your mother if she likes she can pay for my wedding, I am getting married in a big stately home etc.