Am I just being paranoid?

Accompanied with a little message saying "Seeing as you're taking up so much of my husband's free time, I thought it would be nice to get to know each other a bit".

Sorry for scarpering - stupid meetings getting in the way of OT!

I agree - very good advice from everyone.

You legitimately saw the message so he can't instantly turn it back on your for snooping. Don't mention you know they're now deleted. At this point you can't really give him any reason to twist things.

Be very calm and what Mrs Bass said is perfect.

You are right to be fuming. I would have little restraint and would have wanted to blow my stack, but thinking rationally, i would be calm about it. Men can get ever so defensive if they think youre 'having a go'. He needs to know how inappropriate it is. Chances are he hasnt really thought about the impact it could have. Ask him if it were the other way round, would he be happy with you and another guy taking like this?

I so wish I had the balls to do this!

You have far more self control than I do because if it was me, if I had his phone whilst that text had come through then I would have gone through his messages to see what else he had been saying to her. I would have been livid PP, it's just not on at all and you have every right to be annoyed/upset. Hopefully he will be able to clear things up, her message was completely inappropriate and he must realise that?!

I tried to go back through it later when he was in the shower and that's when I found out he'd deleted the conversation.

I'm sorry PP but that makes me very suspicious.

Oh god I definitely would have looked through the rest of them if I'd seen a message like that!

I also would have gone on fb app and email app too.

Snap. I have little self control, but seeing a message like that I would have been seething and it would have felt justified.

It is a bit dodgy but it sounds as if nothing has happened yet PP.

To me it sounds like this is still flirtation. Completely inappropriate and needs to stop but I don't get the feeling it's crossed the line to action yet.

If that's any consolation whatsoever.

I know you've both been having a bit of a rough time recently and men can sometimes be so bloody needy. He probably just likes the attention.

I even dreamed about it. And I tried to explain to him last night that I was feeling very insecure at the moment and I need him to be totally honest with me about stuff. I even considered asking his mates.

Just seen this PP. Lots of good advice from the other ladies as always. I think you have done the right thing in not saying something straight away, this way you can approach it calmly. It is definitely out of order though. I would be really upset. You are not being paranoid but it doesn't sound like anything has happenned so far, just the flirting which is bad enough. I hope you are ok lovely.

This was my first thought. Then I saw a picture of her ?

JoJo, it's a joint mobile phone bill jobbie so I will check the next bill!

I agree with Kharv and VP, but it needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP

Sorry to hear this PP... some sound advice from the ladies already (as usual!).

I hope that he is just distracted by the attention and realises that he is being an a$$.

Right, the message about snogging someone/I know who it would rather be/wink - that was the one that was deleted?

Are there other conversations with her that remained undeleted?

I don't really have much to add, just wanted to say sorry this is happening. I agree that you need to talk to him asap, you never know there may be a simple innocent explanation. Maybe he's found out that she fancies someone else at work and it's their little in-joke that she'd rather be snogging this other bloke. Innocent or not, you'll just be worrying until you talk to him.

He has an iphone, so the whole convo with her was gone.

Ahh I see. No reason to delete on an iPhone really so definitely odd.

Have you seen any other messages or just that one?

And were there conversations from before this one that remained? (so he's not just had a clear out).

I really think you need to talk to him about it.

The more you go over it in your head the more blown up it will become. Talk to him about it ASAP.

Maybe he's already realised that it's crossed a line and has already nipped it in the bud, and then deleted the thread to draw a line under it? Seems strange that the whole thread would suddenly be deleted.

I have had a quick read of everyone's responses and I think you've been given some very good advice. It's not too late but don't let it stew over as you will make yourself sick with worry. I can't remember who said it, it may have been JoJo, she's right in the way you approach it. Men can be blind sometimes and he probably thinks it's abit of harmless flirty. Men love their ego's boosted, however - when you do speak to him. Just ask him, calmy, how he would feel if someone was texting you like that? Sometimes they don't think unless it's pointed out for them to think how it'd feel if it was the other way round.

Really hope it's all innocent and that you get it sorted soon. What is it with women and married men?? A guy I work with did say that when he went out, it did seem that women would approach him most when he was married and had a wedding ring on show. Not that I'm saying it's all her, it's not right that he is egging her on.

xxx Hope that helps xxx I feel like i've just rambled on abit there!xxx

Bizatches. Exactly this!

Some folk are so weird. It's like they want what they can't have, I hate the thought of this.

I know lots of blokes wouldn't have a clue they were being flirted with, it could be that he got fed up of her texting him and deleted them. It could be he has already told her to shove off and find her own fella and deleted them. It could be a million other innocent things, or it could be one great dirty stinking reason, but either way now is the time to be open about your concerns with him.

.

Hope you get it sorted PP. Men can be silly buggers at times without realising they're behaving like chumps.

Im here chick!

I dont want to say too much on here with it being open and all.I have just FR you on Facebook.

All I will say believe it or not is I have had EXACTLY the same thing with girls texting MrMini, I dont know what it is about that place that sends girls into a frenzy of flirting but I have often been in tears at some of the messages I have seen him sent, whats worse although he dosnt aleasy encourage them, he definitely dosnt deter them. Stupid men and their egos and stupid girlies who dont know hoe to behave themselves.

This was supposed to be "how" but hoe works just as well.

What would I do without my community of lovely hitchers?!

Have you managed to speak to him yet PP?

He's not home from work yet, he should be back soon. Dinner is on and I am going to tackle it. I think.