Am I wrong thinking this is a cheek?

I'm sure even a bar meal would be suffice. i can see what you're saying but playing the piano for that long, even with breaks, is hard going. A lil bit of sustinance would go a long way.... playing the piano is mentally exhausting too..

plus is he travelling to get to you??

I offered my tog a meal which he did decline but then when two guests didnt show I wish I had asked him and his pal to stay as they had a 60+ mile journey back home!

Our photographers that we will have for the whole of the reception too have said that they do not expect food to be provided for them. We did think that we'd organise a sandwich platter for them or something though, but that is completely our choice and not part of the deal.

At my friends wedding however, his photographer asked for food, as well as the band that they hired (all 4 of them). They said that they wouldn't play unless they got fed! This is in Sicily mind you, have no idea what the done things is over there.

I'll have to check if the Tog wants feeding as well then, I just find it bizarre when I'm paying them to do a job that they want feeding as well, the plumber never asks for lunch when he comes to my house or the electrician for example!

Hi TeeHee,

I have no idea where she's travelling from as its through an agency and they haven't said. I'll have to ask the venue if the provide suppliers meals.

This is why you need Hitched, this is the kind of wedding stuff other people can't explain for you!

If I was having a proper 3 course wedding breakfast meal then I wouldn't provide one for any of my togs/band members etc.. That's ridiculous, they charge enough as it is without adding a £50-£90 meal on top!! I'd make them a packed lunch! Honestly, I would!

I wouldn't mind them having some of the evening buffet as you wouldn't notice that in your budget,

My TOG is my sister's OH, so he's being fed anyway, but I was planning to include my evening entertainer in the buffet. But I wouldn't include band/DJ/pianist/entertainer in a big wedding breakfast, I'd arrange for them to have something separate from the rest of the party.

I dont think they want to be part of the wedding meal.....which is why I suggested a bar meal. If I was entertaining guests that would be enough, I wouldnt want to be part of the party.....

Claireyfairey im with u, its cheeky! Imean even the band they r working at night so why dont they have dinner b4 they leave?? same with the piano woman, get her a bar meal, no starters or anything just tell the people behind the bar how much she can spend and if she wants anything else she can get it herself. I understand what he other girls are saying about it being hard playing the piano 4 so long, but i stand in work for 8 hours a day most of the time with no breaks and i dont expect my clients 2 bring me food, or my employers its up 2 me 2 feed myself.

My tog isn't staying for food but she did mention if she were she would like something to eat, not same food as us, just a small sarnie or something.

I have had a quote from a harpist for 3 hours and she hasn't mentioned food though.

I bet the poor womans getting paid peanuts then as the agency will take a cut off that £450............. I bet after the agency fees, and petrol costs and/or any accomodation shes only going to comes away with £150 or summin.......

I must ask our photographer too, he hasnt mentioned the meal part of it, but as the others have said i think i would prefer to provide a bar meal - i dont think that is unreasonable and then obviously help yourself to buffet. I do think its a lot if you are having lots of suppliers/bands/DJ etc that are requesting food. Make sure you check in advance of booking i suppose.

I've worked as a wedding tog and never expected food even though we could be working non-stop for 12 hours....but if it was offered it is very gratefully received!

Otherwise i'd pack myself a lunch and grab a bite when i got a quiet few minutes, usually during the wedding breakfast.

Since organising my own wedding i've noticed some suppliers stipulate it in their contracts and i do think its cheeky...i don't mind providing a couple of drinks but i don't like being told to supply food!

xx

It may be cheeky but it's pretty standard practice for most bands and even some DJs. A plate off the buffet is usually fine.

Our tog said he didn't need feeding and he would usually bring sandwiches but he was going to be there from 1pm til about 9pm and there was no way I was letting him do that length of day (plus travel at either end) on just a couple of sandwiches - there's not going to be any cooking facilities there so it's different when you're at work, I'd presume you at least have a microwave or the option to go out somewhere for a cooked meal. At the same time though it would have been really awkward for both us and them to have them at thebreakfast so we arranged for them to have bar meals in the bar while we were at dinner. It not only gave them some sustinence for the evening, it gave them the chance to have a look through some of the photos that had been taken during the day and they really appreciated it.

I hope my daughter's suppliers don't expect to be fed cos they're in for a shock if they do! I think it is cheeky to be honest and also (if I'm allowed to say..) a bit unfair on the suppliers who work behind the scenes such as balloon people, chair cover people, cake people, and me! We all work equally as hard and form an integral part of the proceedings as the photographer, harpist, singer etc and wouldn't expect to have a meal waiting for us when we arrived Why can't they bring a sandwich with them and a drink like we have to?

Hello

We would never expect to be fed when covering a wedding. Occasionally a couple will offer us sandwiches or a bar meal which we would accept, but 90% of the time we either take sandwiches or buy ourselves a meal at the venue.

Definitely don't feel that you have to pay for a meal for your suppliers unless they have stated this in their contract with you ?

Ali x

Thanks guys, you've made me feel a bit better about my reaction to this request, I honestly don't see why she can't bring a packed lunch, she's working from 2 til 6.30 it doesn't even really cover mealtimes! I often work from 6am to 7pm I'm out in the road meeting clients and have no access to anything other than the odd service station so make my own sandwiches and put them in a cool bag. I actually think I am going to go back to this agency and ask why I need to provide a meal, it's expensive enough without all these hidden extra costs that you don't ever think of.

OH said he remember from our conversation with the Tog that he said he didn't require food and brings sandwiches as he prefers to be taking photos and will just take a quick break. I must have been engrossed in the photos when he said this.

I just don't get it, I would never offer to do a job and expect to be provided food unless I was working an astromically long day somewhere that food was unavailable!

Its kind of cheeky, but at the same time not. And the cheekiness very much depends on how long you are having a supplier there for on the day and at what times.

I don't think you can expect someone who'll be there 8 hours to work without a break and without something to eat and drink.

But you certainly don't have to get them the same food you are supplying your guests. Sausage and chips would be fine.

We gave our Band a bar meal each - fine

then they requested our wine !! I thought that was cheeky but felt we had to say yes

There is no way ill be feeding anyone other than my guests.

A photographer knows there going to be at a wedding all day and should bring sandwiches or something.

Unless the pianist is a vegetarian or on a diet and off the chips.......

?

I've decided to look for someone else to play who doesn't require feeding! Childish maybe but I just can't bring myself to feed someone I am paying to be there to start with!

Yep that's exactly right - they have taken an all day booking and so can bring food to last them all day. We covered a wedding recently where the videographer asked the bride if they would supply him with a meal (and he asked on the day!!). It's just not right to do that. If a supplier expects food it should be in the contract and clear from day 1, before any bookings are made. We're more than happy to bring sandwiches and just take a half hour break during the wedding breakfast.

You're right to stick to your guns and find another pianist if you're not happy about it. I think it's extremely cheeky of them specially as she won't be working through lunch or teatime anyway. I think some people just think they'll try their luck for a free meal at a nice venue!

Ali x

Ooh, one thing I would say before you go and find another supplier is to ask the agency whether this actually applies - the music agency contract when we booked our DJ specified that he would require a 45 minute break in a 4 hour set, which I thought was outrageous. I phoned the agency and the woman explained that actually that doesn't apply to DJs, only bands (which is fair enough, I couldn't sing for 4 hours straight and wouldn't expect any normal human to be able to), it was just a standard contract that covered both djs and bands.

Thanks, I have emailed them asking if she really does need me to provide her with a meal... but they haven't replied yet!

Yep it is a cheek! I never expect to be fed at a wedding unless I am a guest.

I usually make provision by taking food with me or have a bite from the bar. Most Venues if we are there all day provide us with some food but I would never expect it.

They have replied now and this is the response I got, I thought that you maybe interested to have a read!

THanks ever so much for your email. It is standard for our musicians
to be provided with a meal when they play. In the case of Hilary, she
would be performing for 4 1/2 hours with breaks, but she would have
arrived at least half an hour earlier to set up and do her sound checks.
We do not expect her to be fed the meal that your guests are; in fact
Hanbury offer a 'suppliers' meal that is very much more cost
effective, or alternatively she could be served a bar meal from
Vardons which could be put onto your bill. If necessary, I could have
a chat with the Hanbury people to discuss which option would be better.
I hope this clarifies your query.
Kindest regards

I'm still not happy and don't think this is reasonable... she could pay for her own suppliers meal, or pay for her own meal from Vardons, or bring a packed lunch! If suppliers can't afford to feed themselves maybe they should ensure their fees cover food!

Sorry I sound like a broken record!

?

Maybe I am doing something wrong here! I spend sometimes 14hrs at a venue without being provided with food ( sometimes I don't even get a drink) I am always on site by 7.30 am & don't leave some venues until 2am but never ask for food.

Maybe you should try asking Sherrie!! You might get some nice lunches laid on as long as you don't work for anyone tight like me!!?

I wouldn't expect it! I always have a bag full of food when I am working and you can bet your life there is a Maccy D's not far away!?

If a supplier is there all day ie Tog or Vog I would not dream of not feeding them

Would you work all day without a hot meal?

Not all venues serve bar food, would you prefer that they left to get somthing to eat and potentialy missing an important part of your day ?

My venue is a hotel chain and they provide bar meals, the pianist I have a problem with knows this and knows the venue very well, she is not working all day, just the afternoon. And yes I do often work all day without a hot meal as do many people.

If my photographer who will be working 11 and a half hours asked for food I may have had a different reaction but he has specifically said he doesn't want us to provide his food he arranges his own food.

I don't see how a pianist who is working for an afternoon needs to be provided a meal she starts after lunch and finishes around dinner time!

Ok, that response makes it cheeky - 4 1/2 is not a long time to work without a break and if she's going to be done by dinner time then I don't think you should expect fed. You're working, not a guest. That said, say she added £10 to her fee, would you still think the fee was reasonable? If you'd still pay for her with the extra £10 then in practical terms I don't suppose it matters if the £10 is spent on her dinner rather than paid to her directly for her then to spend it on dinner.