Announcing your date problem

No - I think your OH is being really weird. So you've got engaged but told no-one? Has no-one seen your ring? I think there is probably more going on with him than he is letting on really. The mum thing, or is he nervous about something maybe?

I'd announce it - its not like its a day before the wedding.

But OMG! We're date twins!!! where a bouts are you? xxx

I'd definitely announce it, no way would i be waiting until June to announce my engagement but maybe hold off sending the save the dates until after your friends wedding. I certainly wouldn't be upset if a close friend of mine announced their engagement now and we get married in May x

I'm in leeds, west Yorkshire hun

We went to view the venue n Saturday but they informed us there was only a few dates free next summer and with it being valentines day this week he said it will probably be booked up next weekend, we didn't expect it to be so busy so OH said lets book it so we don't loose out. So in theory he hasn't actually proposed yet although we have booked our date, I know he wants to do it properly so maybe he's waiting till the right time and to get me ring but I don't want to wait till after June.

xx

Mickey and Minnie when are you sending your save the date cards out?

xx

We're thinking of sending them out a year before…or maybe 10 months before. not 100% sure yet. how about you? xx

Yes I was thinking about a year as well.

Have you booked much? We just have the venue and registrar at the moment but like I said I was shocked it was the only Saturday we could have in July so worried we are going to struggle with other things that need booking!

xx

We've booked all the "major" bits - venue, church, videographer, photographer, chair covers

going to start on the finer details soon : )

Sounds like I am a bit behind with my planning lol.

What colour theme are you having?

xx

Definitely announce it. I can't see how it's stealing their thunder (not like they're the only people to have ever got married).

Announce it !!! Your getting marrriiieeeedddddd !!!! Congrats on your date by the way xx

Seriously!! You've booked your wedding but he hasn't proposed yet? (Why were you looking at venues together!?)

He doesn't want to tell anyone you're getting married because of another wedding that's happening IN FOUR MONTHS!?

Hun .. Have a word with your fella and find out if there is something he's feeling uneasy about, whether it's the divorce, or his mum, or the wedding, or something else.. He's behaving strange and now is the time, if ever, that you need to be open and honest with one another.

Good luck x

Announce it! ? Its not like you are going to announce it on their day and spoil it. I'd get him to tell his parents first if he is abit nervous about it. Just remember its about you and him not anyone else

I'm July 4th as well! x

Sorry don't mean to be rude but I wasn't asking advice on my relationship or why my OH hasn't officially proposed! We were looking because it has always been my dream venue hence why when we were told dates were going fast we booked one so we didn't loose out. We have talked about getting married since Christmas and didn't realise there was a law about looking at venues before getting a ring on your finger!

my question was am I wrong in wanting to announce our wedding before a friends!

i have no doubt in my mind that my OH wants to marry me I know he just wanted to pick the perfect moment to propose but things don't work out that way!

I'm very new to these boards and assumed they were to discuss wedding plans not get opinions on relationships.

Thank you for everyone's help but maybe this isn't the support board I thought it was!

There doesn't have to be a negative reason why he's not ready to announce it to the world just yet.

Maybe your he wants to do the official proposal before announcing the wedding?

If you announce your wedding people will generally want all the juicy details of the proposal (people seem to love a good proposal story).

If my OH is anything to go by he found planning the proposal incredibly stressful (I have no idea why, I was always going to say yes!) so maybe your OH doesn't want the added pressure of everyone waiting for it so he doesn't want to announce it yet.

I think it doesnt matter whether ur friends getting Married this year, There will be anniversarys, weddings, births and Christenings this year. You cant keep delaying it.And its not like your announcing it on their wedding day. Its months away x

However if he hasnt proposed yet then I can imagine the OH wanting to wait until he has officially done that. So once he has I think you should Do a Save the Date / We're enagaged card. It will shock everyopne as to how fast you have organised everything. It deffinitely wont be one of those long enagagments, lol.

We are planning our wedding for summer next year and have booked the church and did have a venue but changed my mind. The OH hasnt proposed either but asked my dads permission at Christmas. We have got carried away with plans, lol. Baring in mind we have been together the best part of 10 years he doesnt really need to propose. When he has though we will send a we're enagaged card and save the date. So that could be in the next month so it would be over a year in advance. Then will send the proper invitations 3 months before the date xxx

Wow. That was a tad touchy.

Point being in order to resolve your annoucement quandry you are going to have to talk to him and reach a compromise

?

We also looked at at our venue before officially getting engaged, we new we wanted to get married and it wasn't going to be a long engagement so wanted to be prepared for when he put a ring on it lol Each to there own, there's no set ways of doing anything these days xx

I know we have to discuss it and since this thread has gone on it has been talked about.

My initial question was really to other brides to see how they would feel if there close friend announced their wedding a few months before there own!

Xx

Your not engaged 'technically' so I can see why your OH is reluctant to make a big announcement!

the way I see it if your planning a wedding you are engaged to be married regardless if you wearing a ring or not!

rather than make a big announcement can't you just share with a few close friends until you OH is ready to announce it properly

I didn't mean to snap before but sometimes people jump to conclusions. After talking to my OH he has told me that he was worried I wanted to send the save the date cards a year before the wedding that would clash with his friends wedding and didn't want people on the night asking us stuff when he knows his friend has saved for years and he wants it to be all about them.

He's also said he's embarrassed I don't have a ring which he had saved for but so soon after Christmas and the fact we bought a house 3 weeks ago he used the ring money as a deposit on the venue! He knew how much I wanted it and the fact I have my venue secured means a lot more than a ring right now! He's even been showing me pictures of save the date cards and invites he's been looking at today! I know his hearts in the right place! I just want to be a typical bride and tell the world lol

xx

Awww what a sweetie! I totally would wait until he has put a ring on it!! lol. Only because i too have a hubby to be that feels the same and has asked the same. Men and their pride, lol.

I dont think sending out save the date cards a year in advance is bad though and I truely dont believe it will spoil his friends wedding. Once your enagaed people are going to ask you when and where u think of getting married and it will be topical conversation at ur friends wedding anyway. Especiall if u catch the bouquet xxx

I think your oh is a lovely guy to not want to take any attention away from his friends on their day. Also I think you should wait before you tell people so that you can have the 'ring moment', sometimes sharing a secret like this can be romantic

I don't think you are being bridezilla at all!

Our situation wasn't quite the same but we did everything backwards! We discussed getting married, looked at venues, and had booked the venue before OH proposed and before we told anyone! He was saving for the ring, so we started by telling family that we had booked a wedding but weren't engaged yet! I couldn't wait to get the ring so I could tell everyone it was official, and by the time we announced our engagement everyone knew anyway!

We booked our venue in October but it was my OH neice's wedding at the end of November. We didnt announce it or get my ring until afterwards because we didnt want any attention taken away from his neice. She deserved to have her wedding day about her, not about us. Personally, I think its a lovely thing to do to think about someone else. You will have loads of time for attention after your friends wedding. Think about how you would feel if someone announced their wedding before or around your actual wedding day, would you be miffed at some of the attention being on this rather than your wedding?!

No-one is judging you ... but the very nature of a chat forum like this is that people are going to give you their opinions/advice on information you give. Take it all with a pinch of salt.

So - a plain answer to your question; no, I don't think you would be a bridezilla to announce your coming wedding several months before someone elses wedding. If the issue is that he wants to do it 'properly' before announcing, then let him have the time to do that, but also let him know that you're bursting at the seams to tell the world!

We discussed getting married, went to look at venues and booked one. That's when we got engaged. I never had "a proposal", nor did I want a ring. In what way is that bizarre? And PinkButterfly - am confused. I think technically being engaged is when you book a date - the OP has done this.

OP, I don't see a problem in announcing your engagement four months before a friend's wedding. I do see that if your OH wants to wait until you can flash a ring, then you could take this into consideration. Is the ring really important to you?

I know loads of people who have done this, it's not unusual at all. ?

What I meant is that I can't understand a proposal after a booking ... it's fine if that's the way some people do it, people have different ideas and priorities. MyOH's proposal was a little unconventional and entirely not as planned, if she had got down on one knee with a ring after we'd talked about it and agreed to get married, and asked me to marry her, I'd have said "You idiot, I already am marrying you, get up!"

I asked why they were looking at venues because I was under the impression they hadn't agreed yet to get married ...

Like I said - different opinions etc...

A couple of H's friends got engaged a few months before our wedding and it was made public. I dont remember there being a big hooha about it at my wedding so I dont really understand the "not wanting to steal their thunder" unless it was on the day, the day before or the morning after their wedding day.

I started looking at venues unofficially before we were engaged but we didnt look at anything properly until it was official. Saved a lot of time though as I had already done the research ?

However, being as you are not officially engaged then I can see why he doesnt want to announce it. I personally dont really understand booking something but then you are not engaged although I get that venues are booked up early and we all want our romantic proposals.