Anyone going through life-changing stuff

Thanks Han B and Consuela. I have often turned to the boards for support but sometimes feel like my life is a soap opera!!! Maybe one day I will write a book of my life but in the way of a novel!!!

Hitched peeps are brill xxxx

Thanks emma for thinking that. the kindness on hitched always amazes me.

i rang my sister tonight and had a good chat with her. she thinks i should go and speak to someone, im not so sure. I spoke to someone at Relate before and it didn't help. Right now i don't know how to get over this pain, a part of me thinks i need to sit down and talk to my husband and tell him exactly how i feel, but that also scares me.

I'm not sure why i'm saying all this but it feels good to say it out loud for once rather than bottling everything up. It's not easy always pretending to be fine and putting a fake smile on to convince everyone and myself i'm fine.

Can , i join please.

My story is a bit further back than 12months but here goes.

I met my beautiful best friend when i was 11 , she and her family moved into the house next door to my parents , she was 20. I use to go round after school and play with her baby.

We became best friends as i grew older , she was diagnosed with breast cancer , chemo and radio followed.

I honestly never believed anything would happen to her , she was larger than life , a real character.

I often went to Christies on my day off and she was always , full of life , you really wouldn't have known she was ill.

As i was leaving she hugged my so tight and said "love , you kid" , nothing unusual but something felt different.

We saw each other almost every day. In 2007 , she was in Christies and very poorly , she always said she didn't want me to see her at the end.

After endless conversations with her H , he agreed but told me to be prepared.

I was very scared and it was agreed that he would go in the morning and i would set off 2.30pm , to arrive for 3.30ish.

I never made it , got a phone call as i was setting off. I know i will never get over the guilt.

My Dad had a heartattack , 4 days before she passed and i don't feel i was there enough for either of them.He has made a full recovery.

Her last text to me said , 2 days before she passed , i feel the best i've felt in ages , sweet.

Don't worry about me , you take care of youe Dad. I still have it on my phone.

She was 40 , had 4 children. I miss her so much it's like a physical pain.

I've married without her there , i am currently pregnant , i would trade a year of my life to see her for just an hour.

So sorry , didn't mean to write an essay.

Not sure if anyone remembers me but here goes.

My husband left me and now lives with my so-called best friend, as I have two small children one who is disabled it meant that I had to give up work, he was unemployed and I simply cannot work full time and look after the boys and cannot afford to work part time.

My mother passed away 2 months ago after the breast cancer she had returned in the liver, brain and bones.

My son Leo has developed a syrinx on the top of his spinal cord, just waiting for the MRI to find out how severe it is and if it will require surgery.

So not the best year or so for me, and why I have not been on at all.

So, so many sad stories here. Again huge ? to all who need them

Some stories are so inspiring- Specialkat, how you got through that was just amazing.

I feel a bit of a fraud being fucked off right now but I am. I am trying to pack up my amazing house to go and live in some little hovel 30 miles away, in a city which is odd and 30 miles from work, all because my husband took on a massive mortgage that we have not been able to afford comfortably for some time. Someone else is going to be living in my house and I already hate them, even thoguh I have to pretend to be nice as I am their landlady.

MrH has crippling debt from a series of bad decisons that are really catching up on him now. The only hope is after 3 years of negotition, something might actually happen one way or another now.

I have exams in 6 weeks and need to move next saturday. Only we haven't signed the contract with our tenants as their references haven't come thorugh and haven't finalised our place as Mrh keeps making stupidly low offers so he feel as though he has a bargain, even though it is cheap anyway. we also have to work outr a way for the tenancy to be in my name only, as he will not pass a credit check.

Well I am not sure if my problems are life changing, especially having read some of these stories but I was headhunted in Dec07 from a company I had been with for 24 years. 11 months later the new company made me redundant.

I can't get another job - I'm finding it hard to even get interviews. The 2 interviews I did get, I got through to the final shortlist both times but didn't get the job. I'm registered with 6 agencies who specialise in my industry but all agree there is little available at the moment, especially at my level.

I've now started applying for jobs with a 50% cut from my salary which we can't really afford but it's better than nothing as we are working my way through my savings to pay the mortgage/bills at the moment. However I'm now not getting interviews as I'm considered too senior/experienced for these roles. Our mortgage is fixed rate so we're not benefitting from the lower interest rate and the bank won't give us any payment holidays.

I've worked since I was 17 so this is a huge shock for me. I have really withdrawn from any social life - don't talk to friends much (some of whom are worried about me I know but I just don't feel like socialising).

H is very supportive but I just feel like I will never work again. ☹️ I spend hours on the internet every day doing job searches. I hate not working. I feel my life has changed so much this year.

I can't believe I left my original job - I must have been mad.

Mitchpuss.. MrH has been made redundant twice in two years and has only just got a job this week... he really thought he would be at home forever. Its so so hard, and noone can really understand the stress. big hugs x

Have been feeling really guilty today as I only acknowledged Smith last night on this thread and no-one else.

Having been a hitcher for years it is somewhere that I have felt safe and been able to air how I feel and get advice from people. Sadly this ended a month or so ago when I discovered that like many others here I am being spied on and so felt the need to change my identity. However the stress I have been through with that is nothing compared to some of the hitchers.

There are some real inspirational stories and I am so glad to hear that people are coming out the other side. Equally my heart goes out to those that are struggling and I really wish you all the best of luck and hope that the rest of the year improves. Please keep talking on hitched - it is incredibly supportive and keep us updated! ? to all that need them.

I remember you MJ, ? to you...hope Leo recovers completely with minimum pain x

I meant to reply to this thread yesterday but got caught up in something else.

A year ago yesterday, my husband moved out of our apartment into one he had bought for himself. This came after 5 months of telling me he was unhappy, and finally that he wanted to separate "for a while til he got his head sorted" in February 08. When he moved out, our son was 4 months old.

12 months later, I have bought my own place, am back at work full time and doing okay. Some days I think it might have been easier to move back to the UK where all my family are, but most of the time I am glad I decided to stay in Canada.

The past year has been harder than I would have imagined (and my grey hairs show that lol) but it's also been the most amazing year of my life. My son is incredible and as hard work as he is, he just blows me away every day with the things he does. I've made some new friends who're there for me when I need them, and strengthened some old friendships.

I'm starting divorce proceedings this week, and looking forward to meeting someone new who'll be able to love me in the way my exH couldn't.

Big hugs for all who need them, I hope the year brings clarity/better health.

I suppose we're also in this boat, and despite the risks of H's op and the recovery, it now (fingers cross it goes ahead this time) feels like it's the "beginning of the end". For nearly 2 years now we've been unable to plan holidays, him decide whether/when he wants a new job, which has seen me taking a job 2 hours away; once H is fixed we can plan the rest of our lives.

I just wish he would talk to me how he feels, I accept I have to be strong for him, and don't really talk about how I'm feeling, but he's the one going through this and seems to be in denial about it ☹️

Reading this thread has touched me, it is so amazing to see how you have all pulled yourselves, or are pulling yourselves up from the awful places you have been and are so strong. Big hugs to those who need them at the mo ?

oh NN? you are being so strong about all of this. Be good to yourself though, because it really will catch up with you anyway.

M might open up a bit closer to the time/ afterwards?

I dont think the enormity of it has hit me yet H - I think it's been part of our life for so long, the relief that it's getting done overrides the task that's actually going to happen.

NN, Mr Pig was the same when he was diagnosed with cancer last year, he put on a brave face and the bravado kicked in. I know a lot of that was to try and make things ok for me because of what we were going through with my Dad. It was incredibly hard trying to hold it altogether but that was the way he chose to deal with it, so I just had to respect that.

Maybe it's you Husbands way of coping NN. My husband actually broke down only about 2 months ago, I came home from seeing a client and he just broke down in my arms, at this point he told me he felt like he was letting me down for all sorts of reasons. It's incredibly hard being strong when you just want to fall apart.

I wish you both well and hope that your husband makes a full and healthy recovery. But don't forget you in all of this too.

Pig xx

Pig, quite possibly. Fortunately I've already persuaded hin to organise counselling through the home care team for part of his recovery. When he was first diagnosed with the initial condition he got terribly depressed, but still wont admit it, and whilst he is much happier, I can really see it affecting him again, especially when he's going to go from biking 100+ miles a week to being unable to lift a half full kettle for 6 weeks.

I hope Mr Pig continues to recover ?

This is such an amazing thread, really moving to see all the strength you all have had dealing through such tough times.

Joflake - sorry to hear your marriage hasn't worked out, hope you are ok x

Flipping heck, what a thread! HanB, your post made me cry, I'm so pleased your little boy is on the mend. ? to everyone, but esp to TillyBean who is long overdue some real happiness, NN and SpecialKat for incredible bravery and Madam Jodie x x

Eric, how long is it since I saw you, gorgeous? Since then, we've moved house twice, I'm considered disabled for the purposes of employment and the Spadger is 5 weeks old! I won my dispute with work and they've had to accomodate me instead of asking me to do the impossible, and I'm due back in August [wibble] but whether I'll be well enough, dunno. Had a suspected DVT and embolism and am still on the bloody drugs, but I've nothing at all to moan about in comparisome with most of these posts! x x

Thanks HB. This is My Year....I can feel it in my waters!

Cant believe T is 5 weeks already. Wowzers. Its not that long ago that we sat drinking all afternoon pretending to be at the gym and mulling everything over. Speak soon and thanks again. xx

Ah, drinking at the gym! That's my kind of fitness! Lots o love TB x x ?

Just about, little by little, dragging myself up and out of that goblin pit I fell into when Camperboy died 20 months ago. Camperbub is now 17 months old and has fought her way through being poorly for such a long time; Camperkid is now settling in at secondary school.

It has been a very, very tough time for us - there's not a day that goes by when I don't think about Camperboy and miss his hugs and kisses and the "just being" together. I'm regaining some energy and can now think about things a little further afield than my front door! ?

Reading this thread has made me feel so many things - guilt for being wrapped up in my trivial world when so many bigger things are happening in other people's lives; amazement at the reslience of individuals and the opportunity for recovery once the dark days are past; sadness for all those of you who have loved and lost, and experienced pain and anguish in measures that seem so enormous and unfair.

I wish I could reach out and hug you all ....

Wow, so much going on for everyone, Mousie & PHB, you are both on my facebook, so I often see how you both are. Mousie, I love your status updates, your new man sounds brilliant for you. Hugs to everyone else as well.

A year ago, I had been single for 7 months after leaving my ex fiance and still living in Wiltshire wondering what to do next with our wedding date fast approaching. I had some very dark days but with the help of real life friends, family and hitched, I got through them. I eventually made the move back up to Lincolnshire where all my family are and life really settled down for us, although I did really go into myself, didn't talk to people much except family and K(my 4 year old son) Went to a new job last September and made a new bunch of friends and slowly got my confidence back up and in December, I realised I liked a new friend more than just friends and luckily he felt the same.

He's very different to my ex and for the first time in years I feel completly confident and secure in myself and our relationship.

Me too - we're also going through some life changing stuff.

S was made redundant a few weeks ago, which was unexpected and a really stressful time due to how quickly it happened, and how badly his company handled it. however, it's given us a big kick up the bahookies and we're now considering moving abroad. at the moment, it's still at the early stages but we are slowly, gradually, getting our thoughts together on where we want to go and what it's going to involve. i posted a few times on here about anxiety/panic as well as asking for experiences about moving overseas and i was really blown away by how helpful people were about it all. every one of you who answered (all) my posts, you've really given me hope that the move won't be as scary as i've feared, as well as helping me think of ways to cope with the stress/anxiety i've had.

it's not as momentous as other stories on here, but it really would change our lives if we are able to pull it off.

i don't know if this is the right way of saying it, but i really am humbled and inspired by the way people here have coped with what life has dealth them. it puts my worries into perspective, and truly do hope that things just keep on getting better.