Anyone help with a Woe Is Me chat?

Hi, i'm in glasgow too. i left my husband 3 and a half years ago and i stayed in a women's aid refuge for 5 months so i know what you're going through. my ex chased away all my friends too so i'm always looking for new ones. i'm at uni so i have no lectures until february and i'm free to meet up any time. if you wanted to go to women's aid, just to chat to them, i can come with you - i know the ladies in the office.

this is a real offer, i've been there and hate to see anyone suffer without trying to help x

Meep, I'm another one that knows you on here. ?

Please take things in small steps if you can't manage the larger ones. Phone that number if you can, or send an e-mail if you would rather. Meet up with some of the lovely hitchers for coffee etc, start having more of a social life. These things will help, give you some confidence back.

Better still, why not phone your friend that you said you culled and explain all of this to her.

You already know all of his bad qualities and so do we now. I can't see any redeeming qualities either. At the moment I'm not working and am dependent on my H, but I am grateful for it and I encourage him to go out with friends to feel as though he is spending some of his earned money on himself.

We're all here for you at any time. You're not invisible!

I know who you are too Meep. ?

I hope you managed to get some sleep and are as ok as you can be this morning.

Zoe and Eric looked after you so well during the night, you girls rock. ?

Gosh, Meep. I've only read a bit of this thead but you sound so down. You poor thing. I wish we could make you see how happy you could be without him. No one deserves to feel as miserable as you.

Zoe and Eric, you two are stars.

Another one 'knows' you, love the Beaker avatar.

WES really. ?

Another one who 'knows' you Meep. Some fab advice on here. I can empathise with some of what you're going through, having recently separated from my h, and having had to seek help for mental health issues. I'm near you Meep (work in glasgow, live in inverclyde). I have wheels, i have a spare room and I would like to help if I can- even if it's just going for a glass of wine after work one evening.... but also know if you ever need a bolthole, that offer is genuinely meant and I will drop everything and come and get you and we'll do a thelma and louise. Hope today is a better day for you darling. I'm going to pm you my mobile no in case you ever need it. ?

? thanks guys

Meep I really hope you are feeling a little better today, please take up some of the offers from nearby hitchers, they can really help you my love. ?

Any update yet? Another one here who knows you - you are so not invisible. Fingers crossed for you ?

I have emailed her on the email she put on here last night, hoping she replies

Im another that recognises you - even in your christmas guise, I love beaker (its the mad scientist in me)

Hope you managed to ring the number and are getting some help

Zoe, Eric and OSNE you are fab you three, even if you are mad insomniacs - you are all little stars!!

I recognise you from another serial lurker....

Seriously I know it is hard, I have been there with a controlling ex, but you need to take control. Your cry for help really is the first brave step in this. And you know what? You might think we would change our minds if we "met" you or talked to your H...I used to feel like that with my ex. That really isn't true, I know I don't know you but you sound so truthful no one can fake how you are feeling in the words you say.

People on here are fab, even if you don't take the advice at this moment (it took me years to leave) make sure you remember all their VERY wise words. Hold them in your heart and head and move each day using that strength you have deep down to find yourself and break away.

Zoe, Eric and ONE speak absolute sense and are truly special people.

I've been checking this thread today in the hope Meep has been on - if you're lurking Meep, please can you let us know that you're ok. You have my number - and LouM's as well, so even a text, just so we know.

I haven't stopped thinking about you all day - I'd really like for you to get in touch. I apologise for being a bit brutal last night but please understand that I only wanted you to get some help and support.

And my offer is still there should you decide to leave him. ?

Just read this and hope Meep is feeling OK today and that the fabulous support and advice that Eric, Zoe and ONE gave last night was of help - you guys rock!

Meep, we all feel invisible here from time to time, but everybody is important and valuable and you are more noticed than you realise. The support is here for you whatever you decide to do ?

Meep, you are not invisible. I'm another one who 'knows' you. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through all this. I hope you've managed to pluck up the courage to call the number Eric gave you. You've been given some wonderful advice on here; please take it on board. No man is worth how you are feeling right now. If you're around, please post so we know that you're okay.

I know you too Meep, and your Christmas name made me smile. I hope you're okay today and follow the excellent advice you had last night. Hitched is lucky to have Eric on the graveyard shift ?

I hope you're okay Meep. I've been where you are now and I know it's an awful place to be. I promise you, if you can find it in yourself to walk away you will never regret it.

Oh darling girl I know you too.

Please do what you can to make you happy.

If you had a daughter (and just think, with the right person, you could be a mother if that is what you want) and she told you how her husband made her feel, what would your advice be to her? would you want to see her miserable for the sake of someone who puts himself before her every desire?

The love of your life makes you blossom, heck, he can even make you put on weight, but every pound you gain, he thinks is fantastic because there is more of you to hold and care for and everytime he looks at you he thinks you are beautiful, because you are his and he is yours and you compliment each other. All of that is waiting for you.

x I hope you are feeling ok, none of your feelings are petty, they are all very real and there is a load of us internet weirdies wanting you to have a much better future, and for you to give your love to someone who deserves it, and for you to especially starting loving yourself xxx

Meep - hope you're lurking and I hope you can see all the support you have. Would love you to get in touch darling ?

Meep - I couldn't find the words to say better than the others last night but PLEASE if you haven't called or made contact look at the list on BT and there is probably someone in the next street who can help you

Lovely you are not an invisible person - I've seen your posts on here and I *know* you and I hope that you are ok

Don't listen to the venom of one person, listen to those who have come to know you on here and so desperately want to help you now

Meep, oh my goodness. I could just feel your pain through your posts. I really hope you're able to get some help .. and if you haven't, do come back here and talk more. I'm so sorry you're going through this. No-one deserves to be treated like you have ?

Eric & Zoe, you guys are the best ?

Meep, I'm another who 'knows' you.Please let us know that you're OK. You did a wonderfully brave thing taking to Eric and Zoe, and I do hope you get the help you need.

No one deserves to feel that badly about themselves and their situation. I really, really hope you are ok. ?

Heres another one who knows you. You've already taken the first step by telling someone there is a problem. Take care of yourself ?

Another who knows you Meep.

I have a friend who was in a partnership similar to that which you're describing. She had all the cash, he told her she was fat and/or stupid (she must have been a size 10 max at the time, and is doing a law degree at the moment) and she felt her life would fall apart if she left. He flirted endlessly with other women and often ignored socially her as a form of control.

It took a long time for her to leave him. A long time. And then even longer to get over him - about 10 years I reckon. But she did, and though things haven't been easy for her recently relationship-wise, she's certainly not the quivering esteem-less wreck she was then.

One thing she does say is that abused people (and this is abuse, emotional abuse and financial abuse) won't leave until they want to - you can't force them. Things have to have got as bad as they can be. Meep, they sound pretty bad to me now. Maybe the time's come, yes?

Sometimes it's easier to run away. Easier to start from scratch rather than to have to force them out of your life. Could you do that do you think? How does the thought of a life without him sound? In fact, imagine he were to disappear, or to die. Would that make your life a happier one? If so, you need to get out my love.

Meep, hope you've managed to log on to see all of the wonderful messages of support waiting here for you ?

Lovely girl, this isn't an adult-adult relationship - he's forcing you into parenting him and acting like a nasty spoilt child himself. He won't do anything to change himself or the relationship, why would he when he has you just where he wants you? He's dependent on you in every way, but he's convinced you that it's the other way around. In an adult-adult relationship, both people love, nurture and mutually support each other. For some reason, he's not allowing that relationship to form with you, as he prefers to control you rather than let you be yourself.

Google "emotional abuse" - it's what he's doing to you. Take care and be kind to yourself ?

Meep - I know you lovey. You are witty and erudite and lovely to everyone on Hitched. Please, please take the excellent advice and make the call. You deserve so much better.

Eric, Zoe and ONE - you three are lovely for all the help you gave through the night

Meep lovely, please come back and post - even if it's just to say "I don;t want to talk about this anymore". We just want to know you're ok.

Much love. x

Meep, please post. After some of things you said the other night, I'm getting worried that we've not heard from you.

There are lots who have said they know Meep. Does anyone know her well enough to know her phone number? Might be an idea to send a text or call, if nothing else just to say hi.

Am I the only one who doesn't know who she is?

I wish I did know her number. I have emailed her but havent had a reply. I really hope she's ok I have been thinking about her all the time.

Hi ?

I have just garnered the nerve to sign back on and look at this thread. I can't believe how honest I was, more honest than I have ever been and more honest than I am being about everything just now.

Thank you all so much for what you have posted, particularly Eric and Zoe - I am a stranger to you and you have given me more time than anyone I know.

I've spent a quiet weekend on my own thinking about things, no decisions yet but I have saved all of the information that was posted for me.

Sorry people have been worried in the meantime, I just needed to put my head down for a bit (no, it was not a hangover after a 10-hr session lol, miraculously I wasn't hungover at all!).

Thanks again - my internet weirdie friends are invaluable!

Meep x

Glad you're ok Meep. Take care of yourself ?

Good to see that you're OK, Meep ?

You've got a lot of support on here, whatever you decide to do.