Anyone NOT changing surname?

My future SIL got married this year and she had to keep the maiden name because her degree was in that name or something like that... she hadn't completed it yet and they said she'd have to start again if she changed her name part-way through which sounded totally crazy

Her name is now double barelled with her husbands and her surname alone is 17 letters long!

I hadn't really thought about this. I had never thought of getting married at all til I met my OH. But since then I've not thought of keeping my own surname. My sister has always said she would but my 'family' name doesn't mean that much to me. Not in a bad way, I just don't have a sentimental attachment to it. However, this thread has got me thinking:

a)I share a first name with my SIL to be. She is married and has changed her surname. Once I marry my OH my name wouldn't be mine it would be her old one effectively! Not very unique or special.

b) My OH has a maiden name as a middle name (family traidition, don't know when it started). We won't be using that (this is agreed). However, we could start our own tradition with my surname. My surname also has links to my Irish background so could be nice to have that reminder for our children.

c) If I keep my surname (for the reason of a) then we have the childrens name issue. OH lost his dad this year and I don't want his mother to think I am desecrating his memory by giving our children my surname. As others have pointed out, it causes confusion if mum has a different name.

So....ultimately this thread has led me to confusion! Ta. ?

Mine said he was happy to *looks smug*

We're both women so I'm not sure if we count but we've kept them for the time being. We want to have kids in 3/4 years at which point we'll double barrel or take one...to be honest neither of us minds who takes whose; mine is reflective of my Algerian heritage so I'll be a little sad to give it up but hers is a 'standard' English surname and I'm already enjoying making reservations without having to spell everything out, so who knows!

My surname isn't my true family name as my dad changed his name age 9 to his stepdads so no real connection but changing to OH means changing too much. It would mean my firm changing its stationary too! which I don't think will go down well. Plus I have extensive medical history going back 23 years, I imagine a name change would only allow cause issues.

OH wants me to take his name even if only on paper, bank etc.

I won't be changing my name. My OH is fine with this, he said he fell in love with me as I am so wouldn't expect me to change, not even my name?. I'm very attached to my name, I do feel it is who I am. My dad died when I was a teenager so my name is one of the only things I have left that he gave me, so I'm not ready to give it up yet.

For fun we looked at mixing our surnames together to make something new but as I said I'm attached to my name so we will stick as Mr K and Ms D.

Change your name, its a good tradition

I'm actually really happy to see so many people on this thread who aren't changing their name. I really think it's a personal choice, but I knew straight away that I wouldn't be changing mine. It's quite unusual, and also like others I've published under it. But also I feel it's a part of me and I wouldn't want to change that.

What's really surprised me though is the negativity I've had from almost everyone who's found out I'm not changing my name - other than MOH and my parents, everyone has been totally shocked and looked at me like I'm insane. Which I find really weird, because I don't take any issue with other friends who have chosen to change theirs! But we haven't told OH's parents yet, as I'm worried about their reaction now...

I am undecided also as, being adopted and in general I feel my current surname is part of my identity and don't want to lose that. I also feel the 'must' of changing to OH name is old fashioned and I shouldn't have to lose my identity. Of course, I want to be part of a family with him but want to do it and also acknowledge BOTH parties.

OH taking my name is out of the question for him and he thinks double-barrelling is pompous but I will either double barrell or have my current surname as my middle name similar to some who already mentioned

x

I'm struggling with this too. I don't want to lose my surname, all of my friends call me by it and it is unusual, even if it is sometimes a pain in the bum to spell or pronounce (despite it being a word). H2b's surname is extremely common and boring and I will miss having an unusual surname. I wanted to double barrel but they don't go together and I suggested my maiden name as a middle name for children but h2b just laughed.

I think I would change it if his surname was less common, but I would still be dubious as I love my name.

I will probably change my name, but I can't say I want to.

I really really don't know.

I love the idea of being Mr and Mrs M and my surname is a right pain in the backside but changing my name feels weird.

Undecided.com ?

I agree there. Mr Vixen said he would change his name and said he wouldn't mind if I chose to keep my own. I prefer his surname to my maiden name, it sounds nicer. Nothing good ever happened to people bearing my old surname and his family are rather more successful so perhaps the name will carry good fortune. Not that I really believe in all of that! ?

But yes, it makes me mad that some men won't entertain changing their name. Why not?

I'm debating with myself over this issue at the minute. My name is very unusual, and as my dad has 2 daughters, it will stop with us. OH also wouldn't entertain the idea of changing his name, so I feel like why should I. OH has no objections to me keeping my name either. I will most probably change it in the end, but it's something I think about every so often

I'm not sure what to do H2B wants me to take his surname. I've got a really weird name (only 4 letters long and I still get asked to spell it!!!) and I do get the mickey took out of me for it but I'm the youngest girl so no-one else to carry on my Dad's name.

My 'new' surname is also a weird one I'm still going to get asked how to spell it and have it pronounced differently.

I am double barrelling mine as i have a daughter and i dont want to have a totally different surname to her....it would cause too much confusion at school etc....changing your name doesnt change who you are....this will be my sixth name change in my life and i am still the same inside (well maybe a little bit more crazy with age) lol

We were watching Million Pound Drop last night, and there was a question about Surnames in the UK, it had 4 weird names, and asked which was the most popular. Anyway, one of the choices was ***, and OH said to me "would you take my name if it was ***" and was astounded when I said yes! I am very proud to be becoming his wife and taking his name is the easiest way of letting the whole world know!

I'm going to assume that you aren't implying that those of us who didn't change are not proud to be wives ?

However, in terms of letting the world know - what world? Anyone who sees us together will see wedding rings, anyone seeing us singly would hear us introduce/talk about our husband or wife, any forms filled will list us as married. Seeing two people with matching names doesn't mean they are married either!

If you have children Footlong, who's name will they take?

I'm changing my name, have no problems with doing so. I took my stepdads name when he and my mum married when I was young so my current surname holds no meaning to me.

I cant wait to change mine. It's the last thing of my so called fathers that remains in my life. ( long story) my OH's surname is much nicer and its easier to pronounce than my current one of Hobin. Euurrgghh I hate it.

of course FTLOMB ?

It just seems obvious to me, I suppose because I havent considered ever doing anything other than take his name I cant even justify it, it just is..... which I know is pap for those of you who love a good debate, my argument is "it just is" which is daft! lol

I'm not predicting that we will come across this problem but, theoretically, it would require maybe a rethink about double-barrelling (them, not us, which for our surnames, sounds fine). If we were not married, they would have my surname.

Exactly this! And Mrs Apples sounds so lovely ?

Aww thats an ace surname!! I want to be an Apples! Lol!!

Me too? I'm still taking his name though, looking forward to being Mr and Mrs A.

We both went double-barrel. This is because my surname is rare, and there are not many of us around. My husband has a strong and traditional Scottish surname. We were both proud of our names and family history, and opted to combine them. Technically this was done by the hubby changing his name by depol to the double barrell, and then when I married him, I took on that new name.

I don't know many people that have done this - but it works well for us!

I am not changing my name but may go double-barreled as our three children all have double-barreled surnames. I like some of you want to keep my maiden name as it is part of me and would like to keep the name going as i am from a family of girls

I am changing my surname - however, the reason being is that prior me turning 16, my name was changed four times by deed poll (each time my mum married - she really had no taste in men back then unfortunately). My surname at the moment was changed 2 weeks before I hit 16 so I didn't have a choice. My fiance gave me the choice, as he knows this, and I want to change it for the last time in my life. Besides which, the name I have doesn't mean anything to me personally, certainly not by choice as I didn't want it to begin with.

To those who are not changing their surname, will you be Miss Maidenname, Ms Maidenname or Mrs Maidenname when you're married?

I am definitely not changine my name.

My name is me....and for same reasons mentioned above if OH will not consider changing his why should I?

Im staying as a Ms which i am already as I dont think it should have anything to do with anyone else what my marital status is.

Doctor Maiden Name here, which I admit makes it easier a choice