Babies?!

That's what I thought she meant too.

She's not 12, I'm sure she realises that babies are life-changing, unimaginably hard work, etc - most adults do. Not starting a debate, just defending her over what I *think* was a misunderstanding.

We get married in June, go on honeymoon in August and probably won't start trying until Nov/Dec as I am a teacher.

Good luck everyone xx

I know I dont know the full extent to how hard it is but at least I have some sort of idea about it. I already work in my chosen career and have done for the past 7 years - so its not like ill have wasted the degree and I fully plan on going back to work part time once my child is a year old. I'm not going to waste my degree. Plus we wouldnt be able to live without my part time wage coming in. x

Thats exactly how i meant it.

Phew...

well thats good then, would hate to think you were going in with rose tinted specs HH.

Oh god no. lol.

Yeah sometimes its the way in which I write things that doesnt always make sense, but thats my fault.

I always find that a lot of Mum's concentrate so much on telling non-mothers how much hard work it is etc and you hear a lot of the negatives of being a Mum, but surely the positives far outweigh the negatives?

Come on girls, give us a bit of hope!? Tell us some of the nice bits instead!

I think that it must be mostly hard work, but the positives of having a little life in your hands and seeing them blossom into a proper little person must be all the positives you need ?

I find a lot of my friends who have kids do a lot of moaning about them and although I'll always be there to listen, part of me wants to scream "you don't know how lucky you are". I am sure they all really do appreciate their kids more than I will ever understand but you just never get to hear the nice stuff. Luckily my gorgeous fiance tells me lovely stories about when his kids were babies and I also get to experience precious time with his kids.

We were in the supermarket the other week and out of the blue, his youngest said to me "Panjita.... what's the biggest penis you've ever seen?". He's only NINE!!! lol, I was howling!

I'm in two minds about having another one, and h2b isn't bothered so I am torn. We have a 3 yr old, I'm torn between her being an only child, maybe spoilt and lonely or having another one so she has a sibling to play with. We would try after the wedding, which would mean there would be at least 6½ yrs difference (if I concieved straight away... which I did with 3 yr old).

I am an only child, and dont consider myself spoilt and definitely not lonely!

I'm an only child too and was a wee bit spoilt but never lonely.

As for the original Q - We got married last September and we are in absolutely no rush to have children. Neither of us are ready yet and we need to be a bit more financially stable. I do a very long commute and my job is not permanent yet. I don't think there is ever a right time to have children, but I want to enjoy being selfish for a little while longer.

The thought of changing nappies also terrifies me.

Yes, being a mum is hard, but totally worth it when you see your child grow and learn things you've taught them.

TBH, i've found being a parent easier than being a step parent. Being a step mum is hard, in that you don't have control in how they are brought up. My step kids do a lot of things i wouldn't allow my own kids to do, but my OH has a different parenting style to me, so i have to bite my tongue quite a bit.

There will be a 7½ yr difference between my 2. My oldest is so excited about being a big brother, I think it's going to be a good gap. He's old enough to help out, so he feels involved, and he's really got into making sure everything is ready for when his brother arrives.

Yeah, I struggle a bit with this sometimes and I think it makes it even more difficult that I have no kids of my own yet so i don't really know how to be a parent. I think i am doing okay so far though (hope!), but I constantly second guess myself and worry about doing or saying the wrong thing.

I have the same issue with being an Auntie - I often sit back and think.. "If you were my child..." but, they aren't. And I struggle to bite my tongue when they are doing something I fundamentally disagree with. Eg: Feeding a child junk food, smoking in a house that a child lives in. I get so cross!

This is how I am with my nephews and step kids. God forbid i say anything about OHs kids though, i'd get my head ripped off.

Should be interesting when it comes to raising this baby as we both have different ideas when it comes to parenting.

I have read many articles that state only children to be the most contented- in child and adulthood!

I have a brother and love all the shared memories we have of growing up but he does my head in sometimes!

There's only 11 months between me and my bro so we were in the same year at school etc and grew up more or less like twins. We used to argue like there was no tomorrow but we get on really well now. The only negative I can think of is that I always felt like I was second best (he is just one of those people that is good at everything and always succeeds) and I think in the past it affected my self esteem, but I may have just been one of those people who suffers from low self-esteem whether I had a brother or not.

I wish I was an only child. I talk to none of my siblings.

My older sis gave my son vodka when she baby sat him, and slept with my ex fiance 2 months before our wedding.

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

Oh ER, im sorry, what a beyatch face slapper!! (if you donht mind me saying!!0

im one of 5 kids, and between me and the oldest brother thers 16 years, yes 16 years and my youngest brother is 16mths younger!! ive LOVED having brothers and a sister round me growing up, always had someone there and what not and always someone to go to as i got older. this makes me want lots of kiddlings, mr flow has a younger sister and thats it, never understood the whole big family thing unti he spent a christmas with us all a couple years ago and realises what i meant

Now, il be 29 when im married (just!) so want to start on the brood as soon as possible?

Don't mind at all, I called her A LOT worse.

I'm 1 of 9 kids. The youngest is 8 (only 1 year older than my own child ?) and the oldest is 38 (i think), i'm dead in the middle at 25, with 2 older brothers, 2 older sisters, 2 younger brothers and 2 younger sisters.

I think this is why I never wanted kids, and when I fell pg with my son at 18, I was adamant he'd be my one and only (failed there)

I hated having a big family.

Me too - I love having a sis!

My OH wants to wait until we are married before trying, so I will be coming off the pill a few months before hand to allow my boy time to get into it's own rythym again ?

PMSL!!!

Yes, we are! Me and OH have been talking about it alot lately. We'd love to try now, but with the wedding coming up, we decided to try for a honeymoon baby! So excited!

Hi ive just come across this post,

Me and H2B dont get married untill 2013, so have just under 2 and a half years till the big day. Im desperate to have children and have just come off my pill, mainly because i had been on it for several years and dont want it to cause problems with me conceiving when we do start trying.

We have so much saving to do for the wedding and buying a house ect that realistically we cant have a baby now.

Is any one else in my situation? Or that have quite a long time till the wedding? What would you do? I really would love to start trying now and if im lucky and fall pregnant pretty quickly, could still have plenty of time before the wedding, to lose the weight after?

Im just so paranoid that il have problems conceiving ect, and i worry about it so much.

I dont want to be a pregnant bride though.. so if do decide to try, if unsuccessful would stop trying 18months before the wedding so that would leave me with 9 months to try.

Would really appreciate all your advice...

Thanks

Kathryn x

Im one of 5 too, but im the oldest at 25, have a 22 yr old brother and an 18 yr old bro (who's expecting his own buba) and my parents recently adopted twins (one of each) that we have fostered since birth. They are 2, 3 in September, and I love having my older brothers, who continuously pop around my house, or watch footy/go pub with my OH, and then from the kids perspective, I adore having the twins as my lil bro and sis, as I still have the whole family thing going on, ie easter/xmas/birthdays etc. I don't think the age gap matters at all... and i would love a big family, but am petrified everytime i watch one born every minute... it just terrifies the life out of me! (im a wimp! but it would be worth it)

A little worried about concieving as just been told i have PCO, and i have problems with my monthlys anyway, but what will be, will be.

x

Being a step parent is horrible most of the time. ☹️ its just so hard to try and look after kids that arnt yours!

Agreed.. My 2 step daughters are now 17 & 15 though but have in the past caused myself and OH some real hum dingers of rows, in fact so far as trying to split us up on more than one occasion but now they know that me and OH are really together with it all now they refuse to come over and to be honest thats just fine with me

I know that will sound harsh but what they have put me through has been sheer hell!!

Hi

I have two step kids too - i find it hard to bite my tongue with how things are dealt with too, find it hard when their gran basically says the opposite to what im telling them to do and does things I don't agree with, it causes rows with my Oh sometimes has he does not see it from my point of view and I feel he thinks I should treat them as my own but surely thats hard as they are not?

In reply to OP he hope to try soon too, maybe from June onwards depending on a few factors x

My OH thinks I should treat his like my own, like he does with my son. The thing is, my son doesn't see his dad, so OH is my sons father figure, where as OHs kids already have a mum, so it's hard to try and be a mum to them when they already have one.

Doesn't help that i'm not maternal (apart from to my own kids, obviously), so it's hard to treat them as my own when they're not...