Bad FB status updates

I have a facebook friend who puts bible passages and psalms on her status updates, we sometimes get 10 a day, this is todays "Because he himself suffered when he was tempted,he is able to help those who are being tempted.. Hebrews 2:18"

Not so much a status but it's the spelling/language from H's cousin. Here's a prime example (they seem to need to add far more vowels than needed into a word):

Heyaa Hunnie!x Yeah Im Okai Thanks Wat Bout Youu All Okai?..Have To Do Sumit In Da Week If Youu Ent Gonna Be Out Weekend..xxx

My eyeeeesss!!

why oh WHY do my friends with kids document every baby-related event in their house "XX is about to bathe baby X" "what shall I feed XX for dinner" "why is XX not asleep"? and why do people end their updates with xx?? do they kiss people every time they speak??

Rant over.

Can you stop seeing updates from 1 person or does it have to be either show them all or show none?

Text speak woman I posted about a few days ago is getting right on my nipple ends.

Mal - if you hover just to the right of the annoying status update a little "hide" should appear. Click on that and you will be able to hide the updates from that particular person. It's a really handy thing actually as I've got a couple of people who annoy me with their constant updates so i've hidden them, which is a bit more diplomatic than just deleting them altogether!

Worst update so far today from my lot is probably:-

E had to go work today...Effort!!_____Spag Bol & Cheese for dinner :] NomNom. Off to my cousins in abit to play Hairdresser!!....Can't wait to see my Bubs Mwaaah xxx !!!

I have two that irritate me, one is a name-dropping "look at me and how wonderful I am/my life if" type and the other is the attention seeking type with status updates like "I can't take much more..."

Mal - to the right of any of their entries on your home page you can ask to hide them. It will hide everything from them though, not just their status updates.

One of my friends is asking if it's OK to wear black to a wedding - made me think of Hitched!

I have one 'friend' who is on my list and I have to work with her. The text speak is irritating to say the least - she's 22 FFS. My 16 year old can manage to not use text speak!

Crimes include: (And yes, these are al from the same girl)

xxxxxx-xxxx

Is so bloody angry!.all i want is a quite nyt in n can i get it? NO!.why cnt ppl jst have a quite nyt in nw n then.why do the feel the need 2 play loud music av big traps?! Cnt wait 2 get owt of here grrr!!!.want a cuddle frm my man!.

Has just made sum chicken n stunk the room owt! Lol.its nyc thow x

Realy wants 2 go 2 sleep.cnt belive hw tierd i am!.hope work isnt slow 2moro? :-( x.

Has just fineshed watching bride wars wiv the smexi bf.it was gud-D going 2 sleep nw.x x.

She is so selfish! All she cares bwt is herself.her her her!.she lets every1 no bwt ova ppls lifes n dnt care if she hurts them as long as miss me myself n i is ok!.

Is watching scream 3 n waiting 4 me smexi dude chonky beatz 2 get bk frm work!.love u lotsy he he.x x x.

Still realy ill.i just wna feel beta :-(.all im doing is lien in bed dnt wna do anyfink else

Has had a very bad day & is very poorly.had 2 go 2 hospital this morning cuz i cudnt stop bein sick!:-( x

Everyday gets worse&worse! Will it eva get bet? Im sick of bein ill! :-(.n i h8 living in this *** hole i wna/need 2 get owt of here!!!.

And the best one:

Is pissed off! If any1s got anyfink 2 say bwt me say it 2 my face!. Im sick of 2 faced people. U dnt no how im feeling n wot im goin/gone threw!.keep ur nose owta my life!.

That last one was pointed at me btw. I had said something at work about her always being poorly and she needed to get to her GP and sort herself out. She didn't have the balls to say that to my face though.

Oh, and the comments about being ill, sick and tired are because she's pregnant. God help us for the next 29 weeks of the pregnancy.

IZ 0oooon @ m4d lIl l3v3l wiD miZ maI,,..................w00p=w00p

This is a cousin of my husband,now i know why he has blocked her.She is not 16 she is 27 and a mother of 3.

I did ask her to translate it,but she replied lol so i think maybe she thought i understood what she typed.

I am going to have to block this chap, he is soooooooo annoying!! This is an example:

'xxxx is at home after spending the eve with my hunni babie grrl. luv u darl, cant w8 2 c u sweat dreems xxxx'

Vomit!!!! ?

He is a friend of a friend, I don't even know how he became my friend ? I think a cull is in order!

I know some prize muppets who I haven't deleted out of cowardice and apathy. One girl though seems to think that we want to know every detail of her life and that exclamation marks are hers and hers alone to use and abuse.

Recent examples include:

XXX XXX is going to work!!!

XXX XXX is about to take the dog for a walk!!!!

XXX XXX just took (name of dog) for a lovely long walk!!!

XXX XXX - 5 days to the big 25!! (this was followed by a countdown culminating in ) "0 days left!!!")

and my personal favourite.

XXX XXX jst had a sandwich!!

?

How unpleasant.

This is a sister of an old friend of mine - everything she puts tends to have a sexual conotation

xxx is always good...and even when I'm not, I'm good at it!

Please pass me a bucket ?

I have deleated peopel for text speak (shoudl that be txt spk?) and would do it again. The worst, whcih was very tame compared to these, was something like "fat chops WHERE IS MY F***KING MONEY you owe me big time!" fark it. its embarrasing. shame by association.

I have somebody on my FB who is my friend's boyfriend, his updates are always sickening......this is today..

XXXXX XXXXXXXX says I luv U baba wiv all mi hart AND our baba gurl xx U R both mi woreld xx luv u baba soooo much xxx TY 4 bein purfek

<sigh>

No corkers today but these are some recent ones from one particular friend of mine

X thinks some people are such tw*ts and seriously need to get over themselves!!!!
X is so happy right now. Perfect little family x
X is so proud of her darling hubby x
X is so grateful for the perfect little family I have x
X says you think you know someone but do you really??? 2 faced and selfish!!!!
X thinks some people are so selfish and will never grow up or change!!!!

So either passive aggressive or very smug.

? Don't fib, that's from Tony isn't it !

He really is the twee-meister.

I had a classic status faux-pas the other day from a girl in my office which read 'xx can't wait for Saturday night, it's gonna be a crazy one lol!'

Nothing that funny about that, but it was posted on a Friday afternoon almost simultaneously with emailing me (I work in HR) to say that she thought she might have swine flu and was going to go home. Muppet.

I have someone who does very similar updates including those about how much she misses/loves her OH. That was bad enough by itself but I had to sit on my hands when she posted this one

xxxxxx seriously hates it when people use there status's to express personal things about there lives, its very boring to us!! seriously stop!!!

and, after lots of comments by people agreeing with her went on to say

and when people in every status says how much they love someone or hate someone, surely they should be saying that to the actual person, why do we give a damn!! sorry rant over

Oh the lack of self awareness and hypocrisy......

Quite a few Passive aggressives for me in my news feed today - here's some from the same person

xxx is wondering why sometimes peoples words can cause hurt

xxx thinks certain people shouldn't *** on you on there so called 'way up' because you never know when you need us on the way back down! And I gave them publicity!

xxx is thinking that some people are complete and utter feckin idiots! They dont deserve near my company! RANT OVER!

Loving the use of there rather than their. Then this comment was placed on my friends page -

hey XXX u k?r u cuming 2mz let me knw hun k.i heard u had an op hope u k x

WHAT??????!!!!!!!!!!

Mine's not as bad as some here but it's not getting any sympathy from me:

xxxx i'm having a nightmare week !!! M's at work & p's at home with her dad unfortunetly little p has started to crawl & i've only got one pair of hands. The TERROR ( demon child ) is everywhere god i wish i had eyes in the back of my head !!!!!!! P PUT THAT DOWN !!!!!!!! HELP !!!!!!! P.S. Does anyone know of a service on the internet that'll come out to change stinky nappies ??????????????

The kid's old enough that he should have changed at least one or two by now and be used to it!

I have another friend that posts every tiny little detail of her life on there - having a bath, going to bed, the lot, all with lots of 'hun' and 'xxx' and 'lmao' and how much she loves her partner and her kids. Ick.

These are some of mine, I have started to hide some of their status updates. I really don't want to know there every damm move ie going for a bath, going to bed just got up!

Get away from the pc/fb and get a life! Here goes...

AKA the idle rich will be hitting the Trafford Centre today in the hope of some bargains in Laura Ashley...

Is going to live up to our nickname of the Idle Rich today lol!!.....

Is playing hookie today.. i really should have got some work done....ah well tomorrow is another day.. time to crack open the pimms i think seeing as though the hubster has gone to collect my devil child!

says I know we're always fishing them out.....but has anyone ever seen the spider actually fall into the bath??!

What a day life is a joke really fed up the same old *** what do u do any ideas let me no

Nt such a gud day after all fed up with life but ill be ok

Does anyone feel dwn in the dumps like me

Oh dear, some classics on here! Here are some from mine - all from the same person in about a 3 hour time span:

"x Is starting the night as she means to go on! Cocktails all the way! B-)

x Is working her way thru the cocktail menu! Note to self don't like raspberry sambucca spritzers! Yuck lol

x Didn't realise that cocktails could make you pissed

Quote for the night "is that the playing hard 2 get move?" - answer? "no its the not interested move" Lmao!

x Is pleasantly surprised that knights in shining armour still exist .

x Is going 2 detox 4 a while"

obviously having fun then while typing into your blackberry??

I love FB status updates, I don't have any really bad ones today.....

xxxxxxx has just shut the door on the 20th century,walked through the tunnel of time and entered the 21st century by taking the long awaited plunge into the world of iphone.

xxxx cant believe the cost of the naffi, you need a mortage just to get two days shopping.

xxxx drunken facebooking and drink dialling.... Who said men can't multi task!!!

Brilliant, she is now hidden ha ha! No more annoying daily updates for me. Today she said AWSUM in one. <Banghead>

I very foolishly agreed to be friends with some people from my old school yesterday. I am now re-thinking this after today's ...

xxx After a gap of two months the curse is back with a vengeance...i feel like shite.

why do I want to know this?

Ooo - had two bad ones in quick sucession....

xxx is thinking of joining the masses except going one up - I want a platinum tooth. What do you all reckon???

xxx wants to eat pizza on a pink cloud with a tiger called Mary

I have a friend who usually puts early on in the evening "I'm going out tonight to get drunk" then whilst she's out she will put something like "I'm getting drunk" then even later its "I am drunk" then probably "I'm on my way home" and then when she's home she has to tell you she's home then its "I'm off to bed"

I mean I go on face book every day but don't always change my status. Why do people always feel the need to upload from their mobile on to facebook when they're out? My husband does it sometimes and its annoying. You're on a night out for god's sake put your phone away arrrrrgh.

A work colleague (who is actually one of my favourite people, except on FB!)

[Name] No 1 wud evr treat me da luvin way my [girlfriend's name] does! Y did u go thru so much trouble 2day silly? I love you sweetheart xxx