"barely a wedding"...

I think it sounds lovely, if its you, then do it, it your day so have it the way you want. You will regret it if you feel forced into something you don't want.

Its your wedding, so guests will come and its not a lot to ask of them if they want to share in your special day. Which i'm sure they do, and if they don't, then its up to them.

I certainly don't think its too much to ask.

If people want to be there for you on your wedding day they will attend. If they just want a p*** up then they probably wont attend but at the end of the day, who would you rather be there?

WSS. The people who love you and want to share your special day will be there regardless of what the day involves, the ones who just want a piss up might not, but I wouldn't want those kinds of people to come anyway.

That sounds lovely. I can see that it's unusual not to plan anything for the evening though. I have declined an invitation for a wedding on the other side of the country in the past, when it was only for the evening do. It was a lot of money on travel and then we would have needed a hotel too. For a couple of hours, we just couldn't justify the cost. I think what you're doing is different - people will be there for the ceremony. I think a big factor will be how close people are to the hotel. I think your mum was a little harsh, but I think you need to be prepared for other people to feel the same way.

We hear this sort of thing a lot (I'm a photographer my wife is a wedding planner). I will tell you what we tell all the people who say this sort of thing

"It's your day, you must celebrate it exactly the way you want to. Your parents all had their day years ago, and they celebrated their day the way they wanted to. It's your turn now, you are getting married... that means that now you are visibly taking responsibility for your life, you are visibly an adult, you are thus rightfully so making your own decisions"

I couldn't agree with you more there.

It is your day and you do it how you want it, not how someone else thinks you should do it. The people who do attend are the people who mean the most to you. It sounds like it'll be a nice day.

Oh wow, that sounds lovely. I think it's a fab idea for a wedding and something I'd be more than happy to go to. If people say they wouldn't come then they can't think all that much of you. I realise that sounds simple and nasty, but the people that care will want to spend the day doing what you enjoy.

Three Lakes is a really nice venue and the co-ordinator, Maxine, does a fantastic job. One thing that the venue does particularly well is barbeque food, which always goes well down with most guests and is relatively inexpensive compared to other venues....

Have a great day, and if you need any "local" advice and money saving vendors in the area, please do let me know....

The two images below show the changing mood in the lighting that this venue offers.

Peter

Maybe she means the food side? I have to admit i would be starvin if that was all i had to eat all day and night? x

Sorry just saw you are having an evening buffet ignore me lol! sounds lovely x

Sounds fabulous to me!!!!

When I married my 2nd husband we decided to do things exactly how we wanted them. We had a late ceremony, on a Sunday afternoon, spent an hour or so wandering the gardens of the hotel where we got married then had an early evening dinner where we just played background music. After the meal we sat around and chatted with the 40 guests we had invited. No shouting over loud music, no blaring lights and no terrible disco. The day was absolutely perfect and I would absolutely go with what you want, sounds like a beautiful day to me.

x

When I married my 2nd husband we decided to do things exactly how we wanted them. We had a late ceremony, on a Sunday afternoon, spent an hour or so wandering the gardens of the hotel where we got married then had an early evening dinner where we just played background music. After the meal we sat around and chatted with the 40 guests we had invited. No shouting over loud music, no blaring lights and no terrible disco. The day was absolutely perfect and I would absolutely go with what you want, sounds like a beautiful day to me.

x

I think it sounds lovely and intimate and honestly you really sound as if you both really want it like this. That is all that matters. Your mum will enjoy herself, everyone who comes will as they will be celebrating the civil partnership ( or maybe marriage by next year?!) of a couple they love. Nothing else will matter.

S x

Your day sounds wonderful to me

It sounds beautiful, very relaxed and personalised. I would echo the person that said about the food though - if the ceremony is at 1.30, most people will aim to be there about 1pm I expect. They probably will be traveling before and so may not have chance to get lunch (unless very early) so then to only have sandwiches and scones until 6pm may not be quite enough - a BBQ as per Peter's suggestion sounds excellent, but I appreciate it's probably significantly more expensive.

We so often read on here that the mum has inadvertently put a spanner in the works or doubt in the bride's head.

My mum was no different. When we began planning our wedding, she commented that perhaps we would be better just going abroad somewhere and doing it quietly. Granted, this will be my third wedding (widowed once, abandoned and divorced the second time) but both H2B and I felt strongly that we shouldn't have to go and hide, as if we were doing something shameful. My mum, however, was adamant that some people wouldn't want to go.

So we made a rule that we would only invite the people we really wanted to share the day with and that anybody who was invited should not feel obliged to be there.

We have lost some family members along the way but that is through their own choice and actually, as it turns out, nothing to do with any doubts about the wedding but other political issues which can be dealt with separately.

We now have a guest list of people who are VERY excited to be sharing our day with us which promises to be utterly magical. We are doing it our way and it is very 'us'. We did not want a 'tick box' wedding where we have to have x, y and z simply because it's fashionable/the done thing/'in keeping with our age and status'. We haven't talked with people about exactly what we're doing so it will all be a surprise and hopefully they will all have some amazing memories to take home with them.

In all honesty, my mum's comments made me have some serious doubts but in the end, she was happy to be proved wrong (thankfully) and is I think secretly thrilled that so many people have made the effort. Let's hope now that it meets everyone's expectations, not least our own but the most important thing is that we are to be married and share our future and we've chosen to celebrate that in our own way, with the people who mean most to us and are all genuinely happy for us both.

Good luck. I think your day sounds wonderful and if it is 'you', then that is exactly as it should be.

Phoenix

Sounds lovely I think.

Do what you want to do, it's your day

I also think your day sounds lovely! I really hope all the comments here will reassure you that you're absolutely right to have the kind of day you're both comfortable with. There will always be someone who has, and voices, an opinion but at the end of the day you're not doing this for anyone else but yourselves. Perhaps, if your mum feels it's so important, she could contribute to the cost?

Hey sorry just read this now. This is EXACTLY the wedding we went to yesterday. It was a village church, then a walk down to a marquee in a beautiful field. We all had pork pies, tea, crumpets and LOADS of champagne. All done and everyone out by 6pm. It wasn't typical of our circle of friends but it was lovely and exactly what they wanted. We all loved it too, don't let anyone else dictate what does or doesn't work for you, make it your own! xx

Sounds perfect if you ask me!

I just read this message out to my H who said: 'what's not to like? Wedding - good, champagne - good, food - good, early finish? Anyone who wants a night out can have one - dinner and lots of drinks is more than doable with a 6pm finish.'

He also pointed out, and I agree, that anyone close to you will want to make the effort, and as you're on a budget you'll both be thinking really carefully over the guest list to make sure it's people who 'get' you that are invited anyway.

Another bonus to an early finish, those who need babysitters only need it during the day so would hopefully be easier to organise than all day and night.

It sounds like a really lovely day; ignore your mum and go with what you both want. If people don't want to come it'll save on budget and show you who your real friends are! Oh, and H says he'll come if you invite him!