Ok, I'm not sure if I'm being a bit unreasonable here but my mother really annoyed me today and I feel the need to rant a little. (Sorry this may go on a bit!)
When I first got engaged and started organising the wedding I knew it would be a bit of a tight budget and so did what we all do and turned to DIY and family help. I asked my Mum (who enjoys gardening) if she'd do the flowers and bouquet etc and if she'd do my hair on the day. She readily agreed and that was fine. She also suggested that I come down to hers at some point and we'd have a chain line production to make the invites. All fine at the time. However, now we've got nearer the time and I've come up with a design of invite I've realised they are really easy to make and I don't need any help with them. I also save a 3 hour drive each way and £40 in petrol by not going to hers to make them. I did visit at the weekend though for a different reason and she had a 'play' with my hair. We decided she wasn't able to do what I wanted, but I remembered my MOH is great with hair and could do it instead. However, my mum started suggesting I could take a day off work, drive down to visit her hairdresser who could teach her how to do my hair. Obviously I'm less than enthused about this idea.
She rang me today asking if I'd changed my mind about the hair, and I haven't to which she started getting really upset. She wants to do more, saying she isn't doing enough. She's 'meant to be my helper to organise the wedding' because thats 'her job'. I tried to point out that growing and arranging all the flowers would be a large job, but apparently that isn't enough. She seems to want me to involve her and ask her opinion every step of the way, and for her to basically sort my wedding for me. I realise she just wants to feel useful and included but shes getting really upset that I don't need her help. Its like she raised a strong, independent woman and is now getting annoyed that I'm displaying my independence. I wouldn't mind except I am including her by asking her to be in charge of an important job, and shes come with me for all the dress shopping etc
The thing is, I'm not made of money, its why the wedding is on a budget, so I can't drive to hers every other weekend like she seems to want. Am I being unreasonable at getting annoyed with her for trying to make me feel guilty for taking away a couple of jobs I no longer needed her help with?
